When I Proposed, She Handed Me Her Friend Instead

I proposed to Vivian because my heart wouldn’t stop beating for her. I’d seen her around. I made her a friend. I called her every day and even went out with her sometimes. When she needed help I was there for her. As time went on, I slowly made it obvious that I was in love with her, but she didn’t catch the bait, so I had to propose.

She said no. It was respectful and calm. She gave me a reason and said she would rather we remained friends than date. I said I could give her time. I would wait until she was ready. She told me it wasn’t ideal and that it was worth my time to look for someone else rather than wait for her.

After that conversation, we couldn’t remain the same though she said we should be friends. We didn’t talk as often as we used to. Once in a long while she would say hello and I would respond. Our WhatsApp conversations didn’t go beyond three threads. Always short.

Days ago she reached out and asked if I’d found someone. I gleefully responded, “No, I haven’t,” thinking she had changed her mind and was coming back to begin a love life with me. She said, “That’s perfect. A friend of mine is looking for a boyfriend. I showed her your photo and she said she would date you in a blink of an eye. Maybe you should consider her. She’s a better person than I am.”

She sent me her photos. She ticked the boxes physically, but I don’t know her and don’t know her character. I asked, “You told her I’m also looking for a girlfriend?” She said yes. I said, “I’m not looking for a girlfriend. I found one and she said no, but I’m not looking.”

Since then, she reaches out each day convincing me to give the other lady a chance and that she would be a better girlfriend to me than she could ever be. I haven’t given her an ear and I haven’t said anything to show I’m interested because, honestly, I’m confused.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Is she testing me? Is she genuinely looking for my interest or the interest of her friend? What’s in it for her that she’s pursuing this agenda harder than she ever pursued what we had? I wish I got to meet that lady under any other circumstances than this. Maybe it would have been different, but this…I don’t know what to think and how to handle it.

—Godfred

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