My Husband Makes Me Pay Rent For Living In His Father’s House

After marriage, my husband brought me to live in his father’s house. At first, his mother and his dad were living here with us. It was hard to live freely, but he promised me we were going to stay here for a few months while we looked for our own place. Days turned to weeks and weeks to months. He said a few months, but a year later, we were still living with his parents.

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I was the one doing the domestic chores, and because I couldn’t do it for us alone, I added his parents’ household chores to ours. Weekends were slavery days. I washed, cleaned, swept, and cooked. I couldn’t go anywhere on weekends because of domestic chores. I didn’t complain. I only asked my husband when we were going to get a place of our own.

He lied to me about places he had gone to and landlords he had spoken with. When I found a place and showed him, he told me straight away the place was too expensive or too far or too small or too something. Even when we had a place similar to his father’s house, he kicked against it. His parents loved me, so that made it a little bit easier for me to stay with them.

Two years after marriage, his parents completed building their dream house and decided to move from the house we shared with them. You could imagine my joy and relief. The day they finally left, I threw myself on my bed and gave a very huge sigh. I slept and didn’t wake up until late dawn. I knew what it meant for my weekends and my life in general. For once in my marriage, I was going to live alone with my husband and make our own decisions. He told me, “I knew a day like this would come, that’s why I didn’t rush.”

I bought paint to repaint the master bedroom where his parents lived. We had to do a few fittings and plumbing work before moving there. I paid for all those works. This is how our finances worked: I earn more than my husband. When it comes to my 9-to-5 job, I don’t earn too much more than him, but I have a store and also another business that brings me money. I had all these before marriage, so I was expected to contribute financially too, which I didn’t have a problem with.

A few months after they left, I got pregnant. It was as if my system was shy of his parents and waited until they left before pregnancy. I had a boy, and two years later, I got pregnant again. I was six months pregnant when my husband told me, “My dad has retired and needs extra income, so he wants to rent out this place to get some extra income.”

I didn’t think twice about it. I said, “Then let’s rent it. It’s better than going out there looking for a place to live.” He agreed with me and said he was going to talk to his dad about it. When he came back, he said it was too expensive, so it was better we moved. His dad was going to charge GHC1,500 a month and needed two years’ advance.

I did the maths. In fact, it was expensive, but looking at other factors, we had no choice but to pay. It felt like a good deal considering the factors. My husband insisted it was too high, especially the two years’ advance. I asked how much he could contribute, and he said GHC10,000. Even that he had to borrow to top up. I said, “Fine, bring it, and I’ll add the rest.”

I was doing all that knowing very well that we had not paid rent since we got married, so that served as savings for us. When he was ready, I gave him GHC26,000 so he would add the rest to it. We paid. It was worth the peace and stability, and to be honest with you, looking at the location and size of the house, we were rather getting it at a good price.

Two years later, his dad adjusted the price upward and asked us to pay it yearly. That was also not bad. In fact, when it came to that house, everything was okay for me. I even teased that he should ensure he got that as his inheritance.

So one day, his dad got sick and we visited. His dad was not happy about a lot of things. He complained his children had abandoned him and they didn’t visit or call. He said, “And you, Bafi, you do not live far from me, but I’m seeing you today because I’m sick. You live in my house for free, but you won’t come around one day and say, ‘Dad, I got this for you.’ You’ll miss me when I’m dead.”

I turned to look at my husband, thinking he was going to remind his dad that we were not living in his house for free. Instead, he tried to change the topic or stop his dad mid-sentence, but the old man didn’t stop talking. “Your mom is weak now. You can even send your wife to cook something for us, but you’ve abandoned us.”

I was even embarrassed. We got home, and I asked about what his dad said, and he replied, “Are you taking what he said seriously? He’s too old and can’t remember a lot. He’s forgotten he rented this place to us for another stream of income.”

I’m not a child. My birth certificate says I wasn’t born yesterday. We argued. He was louder. He tried to use anger to make me stop talking. I told him I would get to the bottom of it and see who was lying. He huffed and puffed, but it didn’t stop me from asking his mother about it. The woman was surprised. “How can we rent our own house to our son? What for?”

His mom called to ask about it while I was home with him. All he said was, “Mom, don’t mind her. She’s just talking about what she doesn’t know. I’ll handle it.”

I said, “Go ahead and handle it. You’re stealing from your own wife because of what—greed? I only meant to support you, and you decided I was worth stealing from? Who’s supposed to provide a roof over our heads? Apart from all this, I’m still the one taking care of this home. How can you be this wicked?”

He walked away. I followed him from room to room until he walked out of the house, leaving me and my big belly with burning anger. He came back to listen to the final thing I had to say, and I did, thinking he would even apologize. He didn’t. I said, “My support in everything ends here. If you can make me buy what’s not for sale, then I’m keeping my money for something else.”

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He didn’t utter a word, so that’s how we live currently. I ask him for pesewas, and he pays everything, but I know the future can be very tricky, so I’ve started doing my own investments on the side, including investing in my own estate. He doesn’t know. Maybe one day, when I’m done, I can also rent it to us.

—Christy 

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