My Boyfriend is Getting Married This Saturday And He Knows I Will Destroy The Wedding

It’s a small world, they say. I didn’t understand this statement until a few weeks ago when my sister called me. She said, “You can’t believe what happened. There’s this lady I’ve been working with on her engagement dress. Today she showed me her husband, and guess who I saw?”

I took a deep breath and answered, “Who did you see? Is he anyone we both know?” She said, “I say guess. I know you’ll get it wrong, but just try.”

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My mind started wandering over all the men I knew who could be getting married. Before I could mention a name, a call came through. I checked, and it was Aboagye, my boyfriend. I told my sister, “Aboagye is calling. Let me talk to him and get back to you.” She responded, “It’s Aboagye. He’s the one getting married to the lady.”

That was cold. My heart stopped beating. I kept repeating, “Aboagye? Aboagye? You mean my own Aboagye? Aboagye?” My sister kept repeating, “Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, he’s the one I saw. To be sure, I asked the lady about the name of her man, and she said Aboagye.”

My sister owns a shop in Takoradi. She’s a big name when it comes to dressmaking, especially traditional engagement wear. We are in Cape Coast. We’ve lived all our lives here. I met Aboagye here in Cape Coast three years ago, and we started dating. We’ve had our ups and downs as lovers, but nothing huge enough to break a heart.

I suspected he had someone else in the early days of our relationship. He wouldn’t take calls before me and wouldn’t answer certain calls when we were together. I didn’t keep quiet. I asked questions. He told me, “It’s my ex I told you about. She’s still fighting to keep the relationship going. She’s trying to involve my parents. It’s the reason I take the calls away from you. You might not understand something or take it wrongly.”

After that explanation, anytime he did that, he came back to tell me it was his ex. He told me his ex was in Nigeria working but ended up cheating on him, and he found out. The lady had been begging him for over a year for a comeback, and he wasn’t agreeing to that.

I even jovially asked him, “Then your family won’t like me ooo. Since they are all supporting her, how would they accept the fact that I’m the one you left your ex for?” He assured me that wouldn’t be a problem at all, so I shouldn’t worry.

I don’t worry in love, no matter what. I give myself away totally so in the end I can pat myself on the back and say I gave it all, but it didn’t happen. I asked my sister, “Are you sure of what you’re saying?” She answered, “The lady’s name is Emelia. Ask him if I’m lying.”

I breathed in and breathed out loudly to allow the trouble to settle in my spirit. I still didn’t believe my sister. I hoped I would meet him and he would tell me it was all lies. I called him. I said, “I missed your call.” He answered, “What guy were you talking to that you didn’t answer my call?” I told him, “I was on the phone with Bernice.” He said, “Oh, Bernice? That reminds me, I will be going to Takoradi this weekend. Will you give me a message for her?”

My heart started beating faster. I’d dated him for three years, but never had he mentioned Takoradi to me. He would travel to Kumasi, where he said his family was. He would travel to Accra. He would say Sunyani. Never in his speech did he mention Takoradi. So I asked him calmly, “What’s taking you to Takoradi?” He fumbled at first and then said, “A friend of mine is getting married there. He says I should come and measure my suit.”

So I called my sister later and asked her, “Are you sure of what you’re saying? He says his friend is rather getting married, and he’s coming to take his measurements for his suit.” My sister screamed out of shock and then asked why I was doubting her. She told me she would take a photo of the lady and send it to me when she came around. She did just that.

Aboagye went to Takoradi and came back. I showed him the photo of the lady and asked, “Is she the one you’re getting married to?” His face changed immediately, and then he forced a smile. “Me, getting married to who? Are you insane? Where did you get this information from?” I answered, “She’s sewing her kente at Bernice’s place. You still insist it’s a lie?”

Then he let himself fall on the chair. He buried his face in his palms. He said it was family pressure. The lady’s family has money, so his family didn’t allow him to break up with her, so he’s doing the wedding because his family said he should. “And you’ve hidden this from me from the day you agreed to do it until now? You see, it’s a small world. You’ll marry for us to see.”

Three days later, I was talking to his elder brother. A few days after that, a man called and said he was the uncle. Another day, a lady called and said she was his sister. I had dated this man all these years and hadn’t heard from any of these people, but they called to beg on his behalf and asked me to name whatever I wanted as compensation. Bernice said, “Tell them you want a house in heaven, right next to God’s mansion. What nonsense.”

Bernice wanted to bring the lady in. She gave me her number and asked me to tell her everything. I haven’t been able to call the lady. I feel she’s just a woman like me and a victim just like me. I shouldn’t spoil her heart before her big day. Aside from that, she’s not the one who owes me an explanation. It’s Aboagye. I’ve told him I would destroy his wedding. I’ve told him I would come and display there. I’ve given him all the threats in this world, but I know I can’t do any of that. I’m only buying myself time to heal, which I know will take forever, but that’s okay.

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He’s getting married this Saturday. He knows I will come there with men. He calls and cries to beg. He’s still telling me he would compensate me if that’s what I want. His mother was the last person to call me. She said, “If I were you, the world would have heard about it, but the fact that you haven’t said anything shows you love your dignity. Fight him by all means, but please don’t spoil it for us. It’s not only for him. It’s for us, the family, and the lady’s family too—friends and a lot more. Don’t hurt us for the mistake he did.”

I’ve prayed for myself. God will be the judge, but I will never forgive him.

—Bombo

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