How To Last Longer In Bed

Sex is fun and feels good, but it should not be treated like a race to the finish line. We all go into the encounter hoping for an incredible finale, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't take a while to get there. Sex that comes and goes (so to speak) too fast is no fun for her and pretty mortifying for you, and sex that fast and unsatisfying probably won't be repeated. So, you might be wondering, are there any time-tested ways to delay ejaculation and last longer in bed? We're glad you asked. We decided to ask the experts, the people who have to delay ejaculation for a living: porn stars. “I realize that this a dilemma that, like erectile dysfunction, most men have dealt with for since the beginning of time. 'Oh wait. Hold up... don't move...' is the signal that women have heard trying to explain why he can't last long enough to finish his 30-minute sitcom!” says award-winning adult performer and director Derrick Pierce. And we all have our tricks to beat our ejaculatory reflex, but for adult stars, they know the tricks of the trade (quite literally!) and have the best intel on how to beat premature ejaculation and last longer in bed. Breathe Sex is mental — if you're too excited, you might lose control and come prematurely. So calm your mind! “It's OK to think about other things. Whatever it takes to get you to slow your mind down,” says Pierce. Just as you might focus on your breath to relax your mind, you can focus on your breath to control your pleasure and delay your orgasm. Don’t Rush “You are going to orgasm at some point. Yes, it feels good and I know you are excited, but slow your roll and let her have fun,” says Tanya Tate, award-winning performer, director and cosplayer. Change Positions We all know the sex positions and spot that feel the best, the key is to work our way up to them. And maybe even leave them and return later. “If you are really feeling like you are going to pop, switch it up. Don’t stay too long in a position that feels the best to you — save that for last. You don’t need to do it 20 times, just change it up a few times and pleasure her orally in between, and she’ll think you are pro, not just delaying the inevitable,” says adult star Kelly Madison, who performs with her husband Ryan Madison for KellyMadison.com. Sometimes, it seems, the key to sexual stamina and prolonging your pleasurable time involves taking frequent breaks — whatever it takes to control yourself and delay ejaculation. Slow And Steady The best way to win the race is a steady start and a strong finish. The same can be said for great sex. “I've found that the best way to extend the sex time is to extend the foreplay time. Instead of just taking 5 minutes to get warmed up, take 20. Or an hour. Really tease each other. Get her off a couple times if she's multi-orgasmic. Then, once you actually get to the act of bumping uglies, it doesn't matter how long he lasts. And once that performance pressure is gone, well, that might be all he needs to keep it up for as long as he wants,” says Casey Calvert, adult performer and the official BDSM & fetish expert for GameLink.com. It isn't premature ejaculation if you come an hour into your sexual adventures! Prep Work It’s a good thing to be incredibly excited about who we are in bed with, but that excitement may get the better of us and cause use to lose control. And good sexual intercourse demands a certain level of control. “If you are two-pump Chuck, suffering from premature ejaculation, jack off prior to getting with your partner. Get the hair trigger calmed down so that you can take your time and enjoy the journey, instead of making it all about the destination. Every time I think of this strategy I can’t help but laugh out loud when I think of the movie There's Something About Mary and that iconic scene with the hair gel,” says Madison. So let that be a lesson: take a step back and enjoy some alone time — and make sure you clean up well after your preparation. Distract Yourself “If you are going to pop and there is no amount of switch-up on positions or preparation that is going to save you, your only life line is to picture your grandmother in her underwear!” says Madison. That might be extreme, but thinking about other non-sexual topics or visuals can definitely calm you down and help you overcome your premature ejaculation. Take A Break While changing positions sometimes can help us from reaching the point of no return, there’s also changing course. “The key is switching things up right before the point of no return. If you're having sex and find yourself about to climax, just stop. Take a break. Focus your attention on pleasing your partner. Go back to making out, go down on her, worship her with your hands,” says Jessica Drake, adult star and creator of GuideToWickedSex.com. This won't just help with your sexual performance, it will also improve your overall sex life. Practice, Practice, Practice The best way to find the moment right before it's "too late" is self-exploration, says Drake. “Masturbation! When you're enjoying some solo time, familiarize yourself with the feeling of almost being there and keeping yourself there without cumming. This practice is called "edging", and once you get the hang of that on your own, you can use it when you're with your partner,” says Drake. If you think about it, it makes sense: you wouldn't show up to a big performance — a music recital or a sporting event — without practicing, would you? Your nerves would get the better of you and you wouldn't perform your best. Well, the same goes for sex: take control of your own pleasure, and allow yourself to become familiar with your body, and you'll have an easier time taking charge when the moment comes. You Might Also Dig: Seven Pro Tips To Help You Get It Up For Round TwoTake Your Bedroom Game To New Heights With These Pro TipsBest Sex Toys For Beginners