True Life Story: My Husband And Sister Destroyed My Home With Their Stupid Secondary School Crush

True Life Story: My Husband And Sister Destroyed My Home With Their Stupid Secondary School Crush

Hello Lively Stones,

Please help me look into this and advise me. My husband and my sister were school-son and school-mother right from secondary school days. He lost touch after many years but six years ago, he resurfaced and by then, my sister was married. But they were pretty close. So close that my sister wanted him to marry me her sister. I loved David so much, he was very kind man and respectful to everyone especially my elder sister and I knew he would not mess with me because of her. He looked up to her like with so much respect.

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The only thing that I found uncomfortable was that his devotion to my sister was too much. We lived on the mainland while my sister lived on the Island. My sister can call him to come take her to the Airport, or take her car to the mechanic or do some random thing that made me feel she was over stepping her bounds but my husband explained that they still had that school mother and son dynamics and he was not offended in any way that she calls him to send him on funny errands.

Things became worse when 2 years ago, my sister separated from her husband. My husband now became her go to for even things like PTA meetings or even to help her arrange her new apartment when she moved out of her husband’s house. I did not like this but my husband always told me that I should see it like hes doing it for me cos she is my sister.

Last Muslim public holiday, my sister invited my little children to come spend holiday in her house on the Island. I was a bit hesitant cos my kids were still small (four and two years old) to go on holiday but she said she would hire an extra nanny to look after them. So I agreed but my heart was not at rest. So I told my sister that I wanted my kids to return later in the evening of the same day. She said no problem, that my husband can come pick them up.

So I told my husband to go get our kids. He said ok, he will go from work cos he works on the Island. Do you know my sister ended up convincing my husband to stay the night cos it was too late to go home after he picked up the kids? My husband called to say he was staying the night and I said no, I disagree…he said I should stop over reacting, that he and the kids just want to have fun one more day before they return.

That night, I could not sleep, all kinds of thoughts were running through my mind. I realized I was jealous and upset at my sister. I was boiling. The next day, I could not wait for them to return, I left my house by 5am to drive to the Island. I got there before 6am. When I got to my sister’s place, her domestic staff let me in, they were surprised to see me so early. And soon as they let me in, I went straight to my sister’s room and found she and my husband in her bed, they were fast asleep and naked, only covered with the Duvet.

All my fears were now confirmed. I screamed and shouted….both miscreants woke up and were startled to see me in the room…hubby scampered to find his clothes as he was saying, babe, its not what you think. This nigga dey whine me abi? Is this a movie? I caught you red handed and you are saying what? I went straight to grab my children from the room where they were still sleeping and I hurried out of the house like I was being chased.

I cried all the way back to the mainland. I called my mom and told her everything. My mum was crying. She came to Lagos that same day from Ibadan. She could not believe what was going on. She was begging me and at the same time, quarrelling with my sister. My husband came home and was begging…saying nothing happened…that they just cuddled cos my sister made him cuddle her cos she has been lonely without a man for so long.

My sister on the other hand, sent me a text that she is sorry but I should not take it too hard that its just s3x. And that I should see it as a way to thank her for advising my husband, who is her school son to marry me. That its normal for men to have s3x with other women other than their wives…that she being my sister does not make any difference….Why is this girl so wicked? I know she is bitter about her separation from her husband but why come after my own man? I told her she is dead to me and we are no longer sisters.

Since that time, things have been rough with me and my husband. The trust has been severely hurt. He keeps saying it was cuddling only (like who cuddles without their clothes on) and no s3x but my sister said it was s3x. I believe my sister but my husband said my sister is just saying that to spite me. Since then, I have not spoken to my sister. Its been several weeks. Last week, my husband called me and said he is tired of begging me, that I have shut him out of his life and we have not being having s3x since the incident.

My husband admitted that he has a crush on my sister, ever since she was his school mother but that he swears, it was only cuddling naked. That I should know that the more I shut him out, the more he is tempted to go out and cheat. That he knows my sister wants him but he did not cheat on me. That I should forgive him or consider a separation cos he does not want to sin against me or God by cheating but he has sexual needs and my denying him s3x is making it hard for him to stay faithful.

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My goodness, his words hurt very much but I understood where he is coming from. But I can’t shake the feeling of betrayal that I feel….I tried to let him make love to me but I was so stiff and crying all through. He became agitated and said we should stop trying. Since last week, he was not spoken more than 10 words with me. I feel like we are both loosing each other….and I feel helpless about it.

How do I move past this hurt and pain? Especially because I feel somehow, since hubby works on the Island, I keep thinking, what if he is still seeing my sister? Abi….didn’t he say he has had a crush on her since secondary school? I am at loss….not at peace….I do not know what to do to bring my family together…it just feels we are growing apart and divorce may be imminent….I am really depressed about this…please help me. What should I do?

Anonymous

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