The Struggle to Find Sex Education Content on Social Media

We all know social media can be a hotbed of hatred and toxicity, but it remains one of the most important resources many of us have when it comes to sexual health and education. That goes especially for marginalized or minority groups. For instance, a recent University of British Columbia study found traditional sex education is failing LGBTQ students, which undoubtedly explains their increased willingness to use digital tools for health advice. But content publishers face a constant battle as platforms restrict, ban or deplatform them over arbitrary, inconsistent and opaque rulings and policies. RELATED: Best Sexual Health and Sex Education Resources In late 2024, many saw the large media (including social media) companies reorienting themselves with a new political paradigm to curry favor with the incoming administration. They abolished DEI policies, turned sharply to the right — both fomenting and reflecting anti-queer and anti-trans rhetoric — and decimated their trust, safety and moderation mechanisms. Sex ed and health online have never had it harder online. The Importance of Social Media for Sex Ed With deepfakes, cyberbullying and politically motivated misinformation at epidemic levels, you might think social media is the worst place to go for sex or fertility advice. In the hands of the education system, at least parents and voters theoretically have a hand in what's taught, surely? RELATED: What You’d Learn in Sex Ed Today That You Didn’t 20 Years Ago In a perfect world, maybe, but official sex education is woefully inadequate. Fully 90 percent of respondents to a survey from fertility services provider Miracare felt unprepared by their sex education for real-life interactions, with almost half turning to online sources for information. Meanwhile, sex ed’s impact doesn’t begin and end in the bedroom — 44 percent of US adults surveyed by the Kinsey institute believe additional sex education would have led to healthier romantic relationships. And as you'd expect, the internet is the first port of call for digital native generations to learn about almost everything, including sex. A McKinsey Health report revealed social media is the second most used source for health information (after healthcare providers) for 38 percent of Gen Zs, compared to 6 percent for baby boomers. “The reality is people aren't learning about sexual health in schools or having regular conversations in their day to day lives,” says Greta Bollmeier, editorial manager at Winx Health. “In fact, only 17 states require medically accurate sex education. The internet becomes a primary source for questions people have about their bodies and health." As well as making it easy for users to engage with information, social media is also unique in offering the greatest bang for buck for content publishers, which might make it the perfect channel for the job. “As a sexual wellness company, spreading the word about what we do isn't straightforward,” says Mariah Freya, CEO and co-founder of Beducated. “We can't slap an ad on TV or a billboard and call it a day. We're a small company on a tight budget and we rely heavily on digital channels, so we really need to nail our social media game.” Everything in (Content) Moderation Many sex educators put a lot of work into making their content age- and audience-appropriate in line with community values, which should make it easy to publish on social media — if these platforms’ standards were consistent. But that's far from the case. For one, they can be subject to the political whims of a handful of tech bros, as we saw when Elon Musk took over ownership of Twitter/X, later jumping into bed with the incoming Trump administration. For two, they often run on far-reaching and largely automated systems that conduct routine content sweeps and arbitrarily block content or ban accounts — systems with far less oversight by human moderators than they used to have, as we've seen. Anna Lee, co-founder of Lioness, which she says is the first vibrator that gives real orgasm data, agrees. After a decade of experience, she calls social media “one of the most unpredictable parts of our journey.” “The goalposts are always moving,” Lee notes. “Ads that run for months without issue suddenly get flagged or banned without explanation. Sometimes the same creative gets approved on one channel but blocked on another.” Often, no real reason is given for bans or restrictions. Beducated shared a screenshot of their TikTok ban with us, which says only “the website link in your profile violated our Community Guidelines.” We tried to get information on what really happens inside social media networks when they scan, restrict or ban content in accounts, to little avail. Meta (Facebook and Instagram) never replied, and TikTok declined to answer specific questions, offering only the following statement: “Our Community Guidelines prohibit misinformation, including medical misinformation, that may cause significant harm to people. Through our Global Fact-Checking Program, TikTok partners with over 20 IFCN-accredited fact-checking organizations around the world, who help assess the accuracy of TikTok content so our moderators can apply our misinformation policies accordingly.” Social media platforms’ inconsistent bans and restrictions don’t just bother sex educators, with plenty of other sectors also crying foul. TruPlay, a developer that makes kids' apps and games with Christian themes, recently said that while tech platforms run ads featuring violent and graphic images that are aimed at kids, their own content is routinely flagged and banned by Google and TikTok. As Verena Singmann, head of PR at Lovehoney Group, which describes itself as a sexual happiness company, says, “Unfortunately there's no clear logic or consistency behind how these situations are handled, which makes the process difficult to navigate and even harder to cope with.” At Lioness, Lee has been further into the inner workings of Meta community standards than others we spoke to, having played what she calls 'the semantics game' with them. In one case, Meta representatives directly suggested she call her product “a massager for tension relief” because “a massager to help you understand your pleasure” would cross the line. After vibrators like the Magic Wand began life as all-purpose massagers for tension relief that began to be used for sexual purposes until they started being marketed exclusively for masturbation, we’re now seeing things come full-circle, with purpose-built sex toys being asked to market themselves as all-purpose massagers. At Beducated, Freya thinks automated content management raises its own problems. “While these systems aim to enforce community guidelines, they often result in false positives, impacting content like ours,” she says. “Automated moderation is very poor at distinguishing things like porn from sex ed,” agrees Dr. Justin Lehmiller, scientific advisor at Lovehoney Group, “which is why a lot of educators and health organizations have found themselves censored or deplatformed simply for trying to teach people about sex and the human body.” This is the kind of thing that, if these platforms were interested in doing so, it might be possible to create clearer internal definitions around the differences between porn and sex ed, to help restrict one while promoting the other. However, the fact that Appealing to Authority To be completely fair, social media networks couldn’t operate without some degree of automated content moderation — the entire human population probably isn't enough to keep up with the flood of social media content, let alone experienced moderators, with Instagram alone reportedly recording 4.2 billion likes every day. And while it is disappointing that platforms don’t seem to have put in effort to differentiate educational content from salacious content, it is somewhat understandable given the way important and necessary sex ed is still seen as controversial by many people. Another major issue exists, however, and that’s when publishers try to engage with platforms to make their case after bans or restrictions. The notice Beducated received contains a link to appeal, but what happens after that? When two social media accounts owned by Lovehoney Group were disabled by Meta, it resulted in a very long and cumbersome process. RELATED: Which Countries Have the Best Sex Education? “Despite multiple follow-ups, including outreach through legal counsel, Meta provided no specific details and repeatedly cited guideline violations,” Singmann says. “There's no clear or reliable system for resolving bans or suspensions. Once notified of a ban, the only available option is to appeal. Recently, members of our social team were even required to submit government IDs to verify their identities.” And then, if the account is moved from 'suspended' to 'permanently disabled', she says there's no further recourse available. "Although we've managed to reach Meta representatives directly, thanks to years of persistence, the company still refused to reinstate the account, even though there were no active content flags,” says Singmann. “Our legal team later sent a letter of demand, but no action was taken.” RELATED: Can A.I. Deliver Accurate Sex Education? As for Beducated, Freya and her colleagues did instigate an appeal, but says their appeals haven't been addressed, leaving them very much in the dark. “After our Instagram account ban in February 2021 and the TikTok account ban in January 2024, where we managed to submit appeals, our Instagram account was restored almost nine months later, but the TikTok account remains banned, with no communication from the platform to date.” When asked how responsive the appeals mechanisms are, Freya answers “not at all.” Singmann says when content's been flagged by Meta's AI system, it's extremely difficult to reach a human representative without ‘insider connections.’ RELATED: New Survey Shows Sex Miseducation Is Still Rampant “Many services end up buying a Meta Pro subscription as it's the only reliable way to speak with a Meta Agent directly, but even then the response is usually, 'We've passed your case on to our specialized team,’” Singmann says. The Sexism of Sex Content Bans But here's something even stranger. When everything from OnlyFans clips and revenge porn to mainstream adult studio output floods your platform, isn't it a bit hypocritical banning sex ed and health services for their content? At Winx, Bollmeier thinks it reveals an underlying sexism overall. “Sex sells, but the way we're taught about sex — especially through mainstream heterosexual porn — is overwhelmingly focused on men's pleasure, which is harmful to both women and men. Good sex is about both partners' pleasure.” She says the orgasm gap is a perennial topic at Winx Health, where straight women orgasm significantly less than straight men during sex, something she blames on how male-centric sexual content is. “Social platforms seem comfortable with sex when it's about men's pleasure and consumption,” Bollmeier notes. “But when it comes to women's autonomy — conversations about birth control, abortion access, reproductive rights, not getting pregnant — it doesn't fit the narrative. It's a really frustrating double standard.” Lovehoney Group's Lehmiller also notes that there’s a fine line social media platforms are trying to walk. “While platforms can benefit from having this type of content in terms of getting views, the same content is often risky with respect to their bottom line,” he explains. “Social networks need to navigate the demands of payment processors, advertisers and governmental and regulatory bodies, all of which have their own policies around ‘adult content.’” And where else might that sexism come from? Could the notoriously misogynistic, hyper-masculine culture inside successful online companies affect content policies as their (male) leaders reshape the digital world at every whim? How Shifting Standards Hurt Vulnerable People If you're skeptical you might still be asking 'so what?' Reputable advice about fertility and sexual health and assault/abuse resources isn't that hard to find. Does it really matter if a few (even most) Instagram accounts about it get banned? RELATED: Common Sexual Assault and Violence Myths, Debunked Unfortunately it's not just well-meaning, well-informed content creators affected, it’s also actual doctors. In short, the very people we're supposed to trust with health information are being deplatformed. Worse still, social media bans don’t just mean a lack of access — they could also impact the way people see the field of sex ed as a whole, which increases the risk of exposure to harmful misinformation. “I've seen examples where female patients don't have access to treatment or pleasurable experiences because these social media accounts they followed were suddenly banned,” says David Ghozland, an OB/GYN, author and lecturer. “Restrictions do more harm than shutting down accounts,” Ghozland explains. “They compound stigma around sexual health by classifying medically accurate information as toxic. For the average user, that barrier increases shame and distrust.” RELATED: How to Kick Sexual Shame “They're not just removing content,” agrees Winx’s Bollmeier, “they're actively harming people who need access to this information to make safe, informed decisions about their bodies and their health.” And while it wasn’t exactly rosy for sex ed content creators in years past, things can seem especially bleak at the moment. It's also hard to deny the discourse has swung away from sex acceptance since Donald Trump’s reelection — as Bollmeier says, “Unfortunately, sex education and sexual wellness is being vilified right now.” “The censorship has gotten significantly worse over the past year and it's hard to ignore the timing and the pattern we're seeing,” she says. “The restriction of sex education content, particularly content focused on women's reproductive autonomy, has ramped up significantly at the same time we're seeing these broader political shifts.” “During the first month of this administration, reproductive information was removed from government websites,” Bollmeier notes. “Whether it's intentionally politically motivated or just these platforms trying to avoid controversy with the current administration, the end result is the same.” At Lioness, it was even more overt. “At one point we weren't allowed to run any Meta ads,” Lee says. “Meta reps told our agency to sit tight until after the election, when policies around anything related to sex were stricter.” And if social media platforms selectively curate content to adhere to a conservative sociopolitical mood in an age of post Roe vs Wade, anti-trans sentiment or the dismantling of DEI, recent research from Yale University says they could do so undetected, highlighting scary powers of “opinion manipulation.” Sex Educators’ Shrewd Social Strategies So in the face of so much uncertainty, is there anything content publishers can do to ensure they stay online? Bollmeier's advice is as simple as it is depressing: Know someone who works at a social media company. RELATED: Sex Myths It's Time We Stopped Believing “It isn't sustainable or fair, especially for individual creators or small teams like ours. We're a three-person content team trying to reach millions of people, and we shouldn't have to have personal connections inside these tech companies just to do that work.” For now, the most reliable method seems to be creative self-censorship. “Mentioning words like 'sex', 'vulva' or 'orgasm' might get you shadow-banned or even kicked off a platform, which has existential repercussions for us,” says Beducated's Freya. That means getting creative with what she calls 'algospeak’: swapping words, tweaking spellings or using symbols like emojis instead of letters. Even then, she warns it's a bit of an arms race, with algorithms getting smarter and eventually catching on, meaning it’s only a matter of time before sex educators have to change strategies once again. RELATED: Dirty Emojis and How to Use Them Of course, the more they have to do so, the greater the risk that their workarounds will also mean their advice is flying over the heads of their audience — or simply isn’t as findable. “It makes it trickier for people to find reliable info on sexual health, because they can't just search the straightforward terms,” Freya adds. One educator LoveHoney Group, which eventually got its two accounts reinstated thanks to “persistence, connections and previous experience with the process,” has its own playbook for the photos, illustrations and text posts can contain. “We've become very creative in how we talk about self-pleasure and self-love without actually talking about it,” says Singmann. Crucially, one of the most important resources content creators have to navigate the minefield of social media policies is community support, with Singmann mentioning the r/InstagramDisabledHelp subreddit in particular. Do Social Media Platforms Have a Responsibility? On the flip side, you could argue social media companies don't owe us anything. Their business model is much the same as a 20th century-era TV network — you're not the customer, you're the product being sold to advertisers. RELATED: Sex Statistics That Too Many Guys Don't Know And when you start an account you agree to their T&Cs, unwieldy as they may be. Do content creators really have the right to complain about inconsistent bans and restrictions? Maybe so, but at Lovehoney Group, Lehmiller reminds us about the context of social media's size and reach. “Instagram and TikTok aren't niche platforms, they've become the public square for information sharing,” he says. “[Social media has] overtaken television as a primary news source, so saying people can just go elsewhere rings pretty hollow. Where else is there to go where you can connect and share information on the same scale?” So in the world of sexual ed and health, especially when so many government jurisdictions are falling down on the job (or worse, letting political agendas creep in), social media might be something of a necessary evil. And when 55 percent of adults use social media to find health information and advice 'at least occasionally', as per a recent poll, we can't ignore the impact it's having. Here’s hoping that the pendulum starts to swing in the other direction before long. Social media where sexual health and pleasure-oriented sex ed aren’t shadowbanned (or just simply banned outright) could be a hugely powerful tool for reducing STI transmission, shame and negative health outcomes while promoting healthy understandings of sex and desire. At least, we can dream… You Might Also Dig: Common Sex Mistakes Men MakeThings Guys Need to Unlearn About SexWhat Men Need to Know About Sex by 30