Another Man’s Girlfriend Is Asking Me to Fornicate This Easter

The girl I am talking to wants us to fornicate this Easter.

I met a final-year Nursing student through my sister. We became friends and I even went ahead to propose to her. She has told me a lot of things. Her name, of course. Her favourite colour, favourite shoe, favourite course, which is even giving her trouble, all of that. She also mentioned that she is in a relationship with a man. The man barely calls. According to her, it can take days before she finally hears from him.

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Sometimes, she says it can be two to three weeks and they do not talk on phone or chats. He does not know the things that I know. He does not even know how her days go, like I ask her. She says that even when they finally do talk, it does not last long. Like some men in bed, it barely lasts longer than three minutes. She has said a lot of things. He is a very nonchalant man, and that if there was an association for such men, he would be their vice president. And she says she is not ready to give up on that relationship for us to start.

See, I like her. I even love her. I have been very transparent about what I want with her. I want her to take me seriously. But every time, she overtakes our talks with small talk about her relationship. I do not even know how she thinks that is still a relationship. She plants her relationship in our talks.

From her narrative, if you barely communicate and there is no sign of viability, that means there is no relationship. But this madam cannot see things like that. Okay, I agree love is blind, even crazy sometimes. I told her, let me book a relationship counselling session for you with my own money. You talk to someone, a therapist, make your case clear and see what they say. She also declined.

I am a generous person who gives to her most times. I suppose I want to show that I am very capable, right? Last month was her birthday. Even though I live in Accra and she lives far in the north in Bolga, I made orders of gifts and sent money to celebrate her. This month, the 4th, was my birthday. I told her she could act as the birthday girl by talking to my friends at the party. I mean, it is going to be soon so it is better she starts her responsibilities soon. But she declined.

Now she wants us to meet this Easter in a hotel and do everything that lovers do. When I asked her what this was, if it was her way of saying yes to my proposal, she said no, we are still friends.

I told her not to feel entitled to give me her body as a compensation for my kindness. I do what I do because of my genuine care for her. But she said that is not a reason. She is taking notice of the things she wants in her man, she says, and she will not let me know what they are.

We talk throughout the day. Video calls, voice calls and chatting on WhatsApp.

I have not done *it* before, which she is aware of, and I am bent on getting married as soon as possible.

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Yesterday, I was trying to decline the offer of going to meet at the hotel but she insisted we meet. She talks a lot about how the bedroom would be fun.

Now I am confused. What at all is this leading to?

—Sterling

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