She Wants Me To Compensate Her With GHS2000 For “Lying” To Her

I met a lady when I was in remedial school. I liked her and I told her. She agreed to be my girlfriend. We’ve been together for about a year and a half now. When things started getting serious between us I introduced her to my family. She also introduced me to her sister and other members of her family.

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Although my biological mother was alive at the time, I didn’t know where she was. I grew up with my uncle and his wife. They were the people I knew and accepted as my parents. So when my uncle’s wife died, I told my girlfriend that my mother had died. I didn’t clarify that the person who passed is not my biological mother. I was in a lot of pain and it made me forget to explain the dynamics of my family situation to her.

At the time, we were still in remedial school. She and some of our colleagues came home to offer their sympathies to my family. After the funeral and everything else, it hadn’t dawned on me that I didn’t tell her the woman who died was my uncle’s wife and not my biological mother. Pain had blinded me.

After writing our exams, I passed and made it to the university. That was when I lost my biological mum. It happened just this July. I sent a message to my girlfriend telling her what happened. I seized the opportunity to explain to her that the funeral she attended the first time was for my aunt, the woman who raised me.

“My mother wasn’t present in my life when she got married and started another family. It was my uncle’s wife who raised me as her own. That’s why I consider her as my mother instead of the one who gave birth to me.”

I thought that explanation would help but it didn’t. She became cold and distant toward me instead. She wouldn’t call until I called. Even when I did, she didn’t seem interested in talking to me.

Not knowing she told her mother that I was dishonest with her. When her mother confronted me I apologised. I told her it wasn’t intentional. I apologised to my girlfriend too but she was still giving me the cold shoulder.

After my mother’s funeral I called her and asked, “So if I don’t call you, you won’t call me? It’s as if you accepted my apology but you haven’t forgiven me. Anyway, I just want you to know that you are still the woman I love.”

She admitted that she hadn’t forgiven me. “Before we make things right you have to give me GHS2,000.”

I was surprised. I asked if she was joking but she was serious. She said the lowest she would accept is GHS1,500. “I will collect that money from you before I forgive you.”

Wow! No empathy for a man who lost his mother? I thought I had a woman who would stand by me in my low moments. Someone who would comfort me. A safe space I can turn to when it gets hard.

According to her, her phone was broken and she wanted a new one. She felt that if she asked me to get it for her I wouldn’t. So I should compensate her for lying to her, that way she would use the money to buy a new phone.

All this was happening barely a month after I lost my mum. I was still grieving but my girlfriend was busy trying to extort money from me. When I drew this to her attention, she got defensive. She claimed I was just trying to make her feel guilty.

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I called her mother and reported the issue to her. Her mother said she already knew her daughter wanted compensation from me. When I mentioned the amount, the woman laughed and said, “I know you can’t afford that money. How much do you have? Bring it and let me talk to her on your behalf.”

I was so shocked to hear her utter those words. In fact, I lost every iota of respect I had for her there and then. They were trying to pin their financial burdens on me, a student, while my girlfriend’s father was there. Why couldn’t they just ask him to buy his daughter a new phone?

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One of my friends said it was possible they were testing me. I explained that it wasn’t a test. He then advised that I apologise and tell them I didn’t have money. When I called my girlfriend’s mother, she assured me that she spoke to her daughter and all was forgiven.

I called my girlfriend after that but she didn’t pick up any of my calls. I have decided not to call her again. If this is the reason our relationship would end then that’s fine. My only crime was that I forgot to tell her the first woman who died was not my biological mother. Why should that warrant a compensation of GHS2,000? She should go.

—Ohene

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