True Life Story: How I Fell In Love After Vowing Never To Love Any Man After My Late Husband

True Life Story: How I Fell In Love After Vowing Never To Love Any Man After My Late Husband Dear Lively Stones, God has a very funny sense of humor. My husband died six years ago and I made up my mind to remain single for the rest of my life. My husband was my […]

Relationship May 13, 2024 0 12 Add to Reading List

True Life Story: How I Fell In Love After Vowing Never To Love Any Man After My Late Husband

Dear Lively Stones,

God has a very funny sense of humor. My husband died six years ago and I made up my mind to remain single for the rest of my life. My husband was my best friend, we loved each other so much, I did not think I could find someone to ever replace him. Besides, I already have four children, what is the point of remarrying cos I do not want any more children. So I have been on my own even though I felt lonely for a long time.

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Last year, I met someone. He was introduced to me for a new business I wanted to start. He was the major distributor in Lagos and I had to go through him. And he was so kind and professional. When it was time to register my business, he gave me support cos I needed a huge collateral but he gave me exception when I told him I was a widow. He knocked off a huge amount for me.

The business went very well, I made alot of money and this man has always been very supportive. Eventually, he started telling me he likes me and is attracted to me but I was not into him that much. He said he was divorced and I used to advise him to reconcile with his ex but he told me she had moved on. Eventually, I was overwhelmed by his love for me and my children, I gave love a chance.

My man was nothing short of supportive. Everyone felt happy for me cos he is a very great and kind man. Things were going smoothly, I felt happy and young again. This past one year has been very happy for me. I travelled to Dubai with him and the kids for Christmas. It felt good to be pampered by such a kind man. Hes already saying we are getting married by end of this year even though I want us to wait till next year. And then, out of no where, in March, his ex wife calls and says she wants to work things out.

That was when I find out they are just separated, not really divorced. He had been asking for a divorce but she left the country cos she did not want to sign the divorce papers. This woman never cared about him until she heard that he has found love again. This woman moved into his home cos she said its still her home and my man could not stand against her. He tried to reason with her that he is no longer interested, but she convinced him that she was back and nothing was going to send her away again.

My guy tried to hide this from me but I found out and he tried to appeal with me to have patience that he cannot throw her out cos she is the mother of their son. I got upset and told him to go back to his wife and that I blamed myself for falling for a man that not fully divorced. He begged me for days but I gave him the cold shoulder. I told him not to talk to me until he resolved issues with his wife. He said I have a short temper and that I was not reasoning with him.

That was in March, after begging me for a few days, I stopped hearing from him. I swear, it was very hard for me cos I miss him everyday. I cried myself to sleep. I asked God why he sent me a man like this to torture me. I got upset at him but I missed him so much. For almost a month, we did not see each other …I almost lost my sanity but I restrained myself as I prayed and hoped everyday for this man to finally divorce the wife.

Two weeks ago, he sent me a text that he and his wife have finally divorced but he wants space to think. He said he was disappointed that I broke up with him when he needed me most. He said he was shocked at how I flared at him without listening to any of his explanations. I called him to explain but he refused to pick up my calls. Now, I have gotten the divorce but it appears my relationship has broken up. I have been trying to reach him and he is not picking up. I gathered courage and went to his place. He was not around but I met his wife…she was still there. And I was confused thinking he was trying to deceive me.

I flared up and left there…after I sent him a stinker message that I met his wife still in his house. I cursed him for trying to deceive me yet again. He replied that part of the divorce settlement is that he will leave the house for his wife…he has moved to another house. This is why I feel God is trying to mock me. I vowed not to fall in love with another man after my late husband but here I am, at my age of almost 40 years old…hopelessly in love with a man that is playing games with my heart.

I have not been myself since these few days. My man has refused to tell me where he is staying….he says he still needs space cos he wants to be sure I am truly a woman that loves him sincerely cos he started having doubts about me after his wife came back, That even after he explained that he had no feelings for her, I refused to believe him. Is this guy serious or is he not trying to gas light me?

What did I do wrong? Is it my fault his wife came back? Am I wrong to breaking up when his legally married wife showed up? Why is he messing with my heart now by saying he needs some time to think? I feel bad and unhappy. I dont like this idea of space…I miss him so much…I just want him back …back to the way things used to be but he says he is not ready. I think he is taking this too far and I am getting angry and I feel like, telling him not to bother coming back to me after he has taken enough space and time to think.