My Best Friend is Pressuring Us to Fund Her Wedding

My friend is getting married and she posted it in our squad WhatsApp group. I was genuinely happy for her. We are five girls who have shared secrets, tears, and laughter for years, so I expected the usual excitement and planning chatter. What I did not expect was a bill.

She said, “Now you girls should prepare to send me some money. I need help.”

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If she had left it there, I would have understood her, but she didn’t. She didn’t only ask for help—she actually stated an amount each of us must pay to help her. She announced that every lady should pay GHC1,200 each. She just dropped a figure in the group like an invoice. I reread the message three times, hoping I misunderstood.

A year ago, I got married. My friends showed up for me in many ways, and I am grateful for that, but none of them bought me gifts. I paid for the dresses they wore as bridesmaids. I never once fixed an amount and demanded payment because I believed marriage is a personal decision, not a group project funded by pressure.

Just yesterday, she shouted in the group, “No one has paid. Please start paying before it’s too late.” It sounded less like a friend and more like a creditor chasing debtors. I felt she’s emotionally blackmailing us to fund something we have no business funding. I’ve told individual members in the group that I’m not going to pay. Quietly, they all agreed with me, but loudly, they stayed silent. They are scared or don’t want to be judged.

Now I am the “difficult one.” The black sheep of the family. They know the truth, but no one is asking if it is fair to demand GHC1,200 from friends without discussion. No one is talking about the entitlement that came with the announcement.

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So I am asking you. Is it right for me to open up a discussion in the group, addressing all the issues I’ve raised here? I want to do it, but it’s a wedding we are talking about here. I don’t want to sound like I’m ruining the joy of her happy moment. Or I’m the one taking things too far and personally?

—Edith

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