I Live With My Boyfriend’s Daughter but He Doesn’t Act Like Her Father

My boyfriend called me one late night and told me, “Kira is here. Her mother came to throw her on me and left. She said she was traveling and can’t go with her.” I asked what he was going to do and he said, “I don’t know. She has been crying since.”

Kira is my boyfriend’s five-year-old daughter. He had her with his immediate ex, who had been giving him problems since she was pregnant. They broke up due to her hyper behavior whenever she was angry. She could throw a knife at him without thinking twice whenever she was angry.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

When we met, Ato told me about Kira and also told me about Kira’s mom and why they broke up. He told me he was very much involved with his daughter but not with the mother. If I had known right from the start that he had a child, I would have pulled away immediately, but I didn’t know. I only got to know about it when I’d come to love him so much. It wasn’t easy for me to detach myself from him, so as bad as it looked, I kept dating him.

In our relationship over the year, whenever Ato was moody it meant his baby mama was stressing him. It could be about money, it could be about his presence, and when she was angry, she would visit Ato and leave the daughter there. I love kids, so whenever that happened, my heart broke into pieces. I even told him in future when we marry, we would bring Kira in to live with us.

When he called that night to tell me what had happened and said the girl had been crying, I took a taxi and went to his place. I ended up spending the night at his place so I could keep Kira company. The next morning, I got her ready and sent her to school before I went to work.

At work he texted me and said pleadingly, “I want you to keep Kira at your end until her mother returns. She would be safe and sound with you than here with me.”

Actually, I’d already thought about it, so when he said it, I agreed immediately. I went for her from school and brought her to my place. Later in the evening, Ato brought her bag and everything her mother added when she threw her there. He left without giving me any money for her upkeep, but I was hoping he was going to send money the next day.

Since Kira has been here, Ato hasn’t called once to ask, “How is Kira?” If I called him, he would talk to me normally as if Kira didn’t exist. If I found a way to bring her into the conversation, he would find another topic to kill the one we were having about Kira. As if to say, “She’s bad news so don’t bring her up in our conversations.” If Kira was my daughter and he did that, I would be mad, let alone doing it to his own daughter.

He would come here empty-handed and pretend he didn’t know he had to bring something to his daughter. She has been here for three weeks and I haven’t received a penny. I take her to school with breakfast and then also pay her canteen fee. I’m doing it not because of him, but because Kira is a little girl and doesn’t have to go through the kind of hardship her parents are subjecting her to.

When he’s around, he won’t engage his own daughter. He treats her like Kira is my daughter and he’s trying to avoid her. One day I thought, “So if I was the one, is that the way he would have treated my daughter?” That day, I thought about him differently as a man and also assessed the choice of dating a man of his caliber. I asked him, “Are you really sure Kira is your daughter? Maybe you’ve accepted fatherhood responsibilities but you don’t believe she’s yours.”

He asked why I was saying that, and I told him everything. “When did you call to ask about her? I’m a stranger to this kid. You should worry about her enough to know how she’s doing under my roof.” He answered, “I know you’re a good woman and won’t hurt her. Do you think I would give her to you if you were a bad person?”

I asked, “How about money for her upkeep? Have you ever wondered how she’s fed since she’s been here?” He answered, “Ah, but why are you talking as if you regret having her here? You can give her to me if you can’t take care of her. Why all these questions?”

I continued, “You’re emotionally distant from her. Does she come to you when you’re here? Does she even know you’re her father? If you think she’s not yours, do a DNA to confirm your suspicion and stop treating this little girl like she’s an enemy.”

I was so pissed I wasn’t going to let him off the hook. He held the girl’s hand and said, “Bring me her things. I will take her away.”

My motherly instinct couldn’t allow me to do what he asked for. I knew the girl would be worse off with him or wherever he takes her, so I calmly said, “I’m not asking you to take her away. Her mom will come soon and she can leave. I’m only telling you what you ought to do and are not doing. Just change your ways toward her.”

He left my house and I didn’t hear from him for two days. He was angry with me, so he wouldn’t check on me, but what about his daughter? These few weeks have revealed more about him than I’d learned since our relationship started. I now don’t believe anything he has said about his baby mama. He’s the problem. Because of how he treats Kira, I know the kind of man he is, the kind of husband he would be, and the kind of father he will be to our kids. He will be the kind who’s far removed from fatherly responsibilities and emotionally detached from his own children.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Kira’s mom will come very soon. It’s already been a month. If she’s not lying, she should be here in a few days. Once Kira walks out of my door, our relationship ends and I will thank my stars for bringing Kira to live with me so I can witness the future of our present. He’s a bad father. He will be a bad husband, and a man of his kind is not worth any emotional commitment from a woman.

—Nana Akua

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

*****