His Girlfriend Warned Me To Stay Away From “Her” Husband

I got married to my first husband in 2001. It was a beautiful ceremony. Everyone we loved was present to wish us a happy marriage. I didn’t think of the man as my first husband, I thought of him as my partner for life.

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That marriage officially ended in 2009 because of another woman. Well, I am not blaming the woman for my husband’s choices. Life happened, and we had problems that kept resurfacing. Instead of working through things together as a couple, my husband fell into another woman’s arms. He married her immediately our divorce was finalised. I also met Jabari that very year.

Jabari and I got married a year after my divorce. We never had kids together but he raised my two children from my previous marriage. They were 5 and 7 when we all became a family. He never treated them or made them feel they were another man’s children. He raised them as his own.

He was a great father to my children, that’s why I kept forgiving his infidelity. Besides, I was not ready for another divorce. So I did all I could to hold on to him. Nothing worked. By 2017, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I sat him down and asked for a separation. “The longer I stay with you hoping for change, the deeper you hurt me. I have come to accept that this is who you are.”

He asked if I was leaving him. “I need some space to figure things out,” I explained.

I moved out of his place and rented my own place. We still saw each other regularly because of the children, we were co-parenting. It made me realise how much I missed him. I was also not ready to walk away from him entirely.

In the end, we came to an agreement. We continue to be married but live apart. “If you want to see me, you can come to my place and when I miss you, I will come over,” we agreed.

This arrangement worked until 2019, when he met another woman who had just left her husband. She moved in with him and started calling herself his wife. I wasn’t pleased when I found out but I decided to accept her as part of the marriage. As long as she knew about me and willingly moved in with him, there was nothing else I could have done.

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I stopped going to his place after she came into the picture. He is the one who always visits me now. I have been staying in my corner but since 2019, this woman has been calling to insult me repeatedly.

Just last week, she found our husband about five kilometres from my house. She got angry and came to insult me. “Stay away from my husband,” she warned me.

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I was surprised she was telling me to stay away from her husband. “Have you forgotten that you are the one who got involved with him knowing very well that I was in his life? I was the one who brought him to this village,” I reminded her.

I’ve been with this man for almost twenty years. I am not ready to start over again. I don’t want another divorce, I am too tired for that. I am currently 50. I am just looking for a way to handle the other woman so that she can stop disturbing my life.

—Ona, South Africa 

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