At first, it seemed like forgetfulness. He would often repeat himself, imagining that he had not mentioned something when he already had. Then he could not account for how he spent his money.

Said Alvin Tan of his 86-year-old father Tan Yan Hiok: “Every week, I would give him S$70 on Saturday. By Monday or Tuesday, he would run out of money. But he couldn’t tell me how he spent his money.”

When the older Mr Tan fell two years ago and was warded into the hospital, doctors diagnosed him with dementia.

By then, his wife of over 50 years was already living at a nursing home because of dementia. His daughter, who became intellectually challenged after a fall when she was a toddler, was also living in the home. Apart from his tenants in his flat, Mr Tan was living alone.

On the advice of his medical social worker from the hospital, Mr Tan was enrolled at a St Luke’s ElderCare (SLEC) Senior Care Centre near his home last April.

Said Alvin, 55: “I told him that it would be dangerous for him to stay at home because there was nobody to take care of him. He had become forgetful and was not regular with his blood pressure medication because he doesn’t look at the time.”

Mr Tan (left) celebrating the Mooncake Festival at the senior care centre. Photo courtesy of SLEC.

His father was not entirely agreeable at first.

“He can be stubborn at times. But get him on the right day, he can be receptive to things.

“Even up to now, he still thinks he is going there to work. Sometimes he tells me, ‘The boss face black today.’”

But the first few months at the senior care centre were difficult for Mr Tan.

“He told us, ‘There’s no more meaning in life’,” said Petrina Tan, Senior Chaplain at SLEC.

Problems in life

Mr Tan has been at the SLEC Senior Care Centre @ Serangoon for more than a year now. When Salt&Light visited him there, he was all smiles and unfailingly polite. He remembers the little details about his family.

“My wife was a nurse at SGH (Singapore General Hospital). We got married at 30 years old. She was my passenger when I was a taxi driver. That was how we met,” he said in Mandarin.

“My wife loves vegetables. I love to eat fish.”

Asked if he has a happy memory to share about his family, he said with a hint of poignancy in his voice: “Living together is my best memory.”

But he cannot remember recent events such as what he does at the senior centre every day. This is a common symptom of dementia.

Instead, he remembers emotions: “When I first came here, I was lonely. I didn’t know anyone.”

He used to go to the coffeeshop near his home for a cuppa every afternoon and chat with old friends. When he was sent to the senior care centre five days a week, that simple pleasure was no longer available to him.

Added Mr Tan: “I had problems. My wife was not with me, my daughter was not at home either. I couldn’t sleep at night.”

More than momentary problems

Staff at the senior care centre noticed Mr Tan’s dejection.

“He was quite quiet, reserved. He kept to himself. We also observed that he looked sad,” said David Tan, Senior Care Staff at SLEC Senior Care Centre @ Serangoon.

In her chats with Mr Tan, the medical social worker discovered there was more. Mr Tan had suicide ideation. Petrina was called in.

Petrina engaged Mr Tan in spiritual conversations which led to her sharing the Gospel with him.

“I let him share what was inside him, listened to his story, made him feel heard,” said Petrina.

It helped tremendously that hers was a familiar face. Petrina visits the centre every week and conducts devotions monthly. Every time she is there, she strikes up conversations with the seniors.

All the small talk she had with Mr Tan made it easier for her to approach him for deeper conversations.

Said Petrina: “He was a bit dazed but he was willing to share.

“I helped him look at the support system he had – family, day care – that he had a lot of people who loved him and he was not alone. Basically, it was to enable him to see his situation from a different perspective.”

She got him to agree to a “no suicide pact” where he promised to call Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) if the thoughts of ending it all became too overwhelming.

Said Mr Tan: “She helped me to see the other side. She helped me to see my whole life rather than just this one moment.”

Petrina chipped in: “Yes, you managed to raise a family.”

Added Mr Tan: “And if I were to kill myself, what would my wife and children think? I decided to accept her point of view.”

A miraculous change of heart

Beyond conversations, Petrina also offered to pray for Mr Tan.

“That led to spiritual conversations,” said Petrina.

“We talked about things that are beyond our abilities and I pointed him to Jesus. I told him that he could talk to Jesus if he had no one to talk to.”

Months later, during one of their conversations, Petrina felt a prompting by the Holy Spirit to ask Mr Tan the all-important question.

Mr Tan (in red) engaging in activities at the senior care centre. Being involved in different activities helps dementia patients stave off some of the effects of dementia.

“I asked him, ‘Since you believe in Jesus who can help you, would you like Jesus to be in your life?” 

Mr Tan readily agreed.

“What she said made sense to me,” said Mr Tan.

This was a real change of heart. When his son Alvin was in his 20s, he became a Christian and began sharing the Gospel with his family. Mr Tan’s wife became a Christian, as did Mr Tan’s daughter. But Mr Tan himself was resistant.

“I felt that every religion was the same. As long as you don’t do bad things,” said Mr Tan.

Alvin explained: “My parents were of another religion. They were quite regular. They would pray at home.

“Dad was a compulsive gambler. Every time he got into trouble and ended up with debts and ah long (debt collectors) were chasing him, he would pray.

“When he won and and all the debts were repaid, he would throw dinners and give us money. He is quite a generous person.”

But that November in 2024, when asked to make a decision about his eternity, Mr Tan agreed to receive Jesus into his life. When Alvin was informed, his response was a hearty “Hallelujah”. The family had waited so long for “the last one to be saved”.

A life changed

The change that came over Mr Tan after his conversion was clear.

“He became more cheerful,” said David.

Agreed Petrina: “He became more chatty and he would smile. There was a glow on his face when he used to look very serious before.”

One day, Mr Tan told a Christian volunteer at the centre that he wanted to be baptised. Petrina quickly roped in one of the centre’s church partners, Cherith Baptist Church.

The church sent two of their Pastors and one of their leaders to befriend Mr Tan at the centre. That weekend, Petrina and Alvin took Mr Tan to church.

Since then, Soon Min Sin, the church leader who first visited Mr Tan, has been ferrying the senior to and from church. Min Sin is the Chairman of the Central Committee of the church. On the odd occasion when Min Sin cannot make it, his son – who recently got his driver’s licence – would take over.

“From all these acts of kindness, it touched Mr Tan and changed him,” noted David.

Added Petrina: “He feels that he is being loved. It is important that we widen his social circle.

“On weekdays, he is here. But on weekends, he has zero (company). He is alone. Going to church gives him a spiritual family.”

Min Sin was also the one who conducted baptism classes with Mr Tan.

In June 2025, Mr Tan was baptised. Alvin was there to witness the occasion.

Mr Tan being baptised at Cherith Baptist Church.

“Even when I watched him being baptised, I still couldn’t believe it. I always believed that God would work His wonderful way in His timing, but I didn’t expect the whole process to be so smooth.”

Now Mr Tan not only has the people at the centre caring for him, he has a new church community. Aside from Min Sin, there is a couple who are always there to greet Mr Tan when he arrives and they sit with him during the Mandarin service.

Mr Tan (centre) with his son Alvin (on his right) and his community of love at Cherith Baptist Church after Mr Tan’s baptism. Photo courtesy of SLEC.

Said Min Sin: “He told me, ‘It’s like I have another family.’”

Alvin is touched that so many have rallied around his father, from centre staff and volunteers to church partners.

“He has certainly become more calm and he is more thankful when I do things for him. He would say 谢谢,” said Alvin.

Mr Tan himself agreed that things have changed: “I feel I have changed. I feel life is better. People love me, look after me, care for me.

“I have no more problems. All my problems have been given to Jesus.”

ST LUKE’S ELDERCARE COMMCARE SYMPOSIUM 2025

The SLEC CommCare Symposium returns for the fourth year.

Join healthcare professionals to explore practical strategies in wound care, and the faith community to discover how spirituality can transform dementia support. Walk away with fresh insights, valuable skills and meaningful connections – all to make a lasting impact in the lives of those for whom you care.

Programme

Wounds to Wholeness: Bridging the Gap from Injury to Recovery

Deepen your clinical skills in managing complex wounds by understanding wound healing challenges and advances in care to support others on their recovery journey.

Sustaining Faith, Sharing Hope and Supporting Love: Spiritual Care for People with Dementia

Explore practical strategies to sustain faith, share the Gospel and offer compassionate care that can help individuals with dementia experience dignity, peace and connection throughout their journey. 

Date: September 18, 2025 (Wounds to Wholeness)
            September 19, 2025 (Spiritual Care for People with Dementia)

Time: 9am-5.30pm

Venue: SIM Global Education
               Blk B MPH (Basement 2)
               461 Clementi Road
               Singapore 599491

Cost: S$100 (Wounds to Wholeness)
           S$30 (Spiritual Care for People with Dementia)

Click here to register.

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Yet not I but Christ in me: The rocky road to my dad’s conversion

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