He Didn’t Propose After 10 Years Together And I Just Found Out Why

Fred and I have been friends since junior high school. As far back as I can remember, he has had a crush on me since then. Our friends always teased us whenever they saw us together. Even the teachers heard the rumours that Claire and Fred might just be dating. Thankfully, they didn’t snitch on me, so my parents never knew why I came home late most of the time, or that their little girl wasn’t so little anymore and knew things.

I won’t tell you all the details, but we used to stay behind after the final bell and talk about quizzes and tests. Sometimes we gossiped about which teacher could be secretly dating whom while sharing ice cream or popcorn. There was a restaurant close to our school where we normally bought from. The owners even knew about us and expected us every day after school closed.

During the time of our BECE, we stayed awake to study together. We drank caffeine together and cuddled each other to sleep when we were too tired to keep our eyes open. Then another three years of senior high school came and went. I sent him money when he needed it, for food, for books, for something nice.

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It was a simple dream that shouldn’t have cost much. That was the plan we had drawn together. He gave me all of him, and I gave him all of me. I mean from the crown of my head to the sole of my feet.

Close to a decade passed between us, and still he had not said anything about where we stood. Ten years together, but I never had the right to officially call him my boyfriend because he never asked. Still, he enjoyed all the benefits of being one. And I enjoyed the benefits of being his girlfriend too. But he never asked.

At first, I understood. We were just children who fell in love and ran with it. But we had grown now, and I believed he should just pop the question. It really needed to be asked.

Dear readers, remember when I said I gave him all of me? I meant it. If he asked on a whim, I gave it to him. So what exactly was I doing wrong?

Last month, I found out he was seeing someone else. When I confronted him, he did not deny it.

He said, “I have already prepared my family. She is the one I am going to marry.”

I asked, “So what happens to us then?”

He just said, “I don’t know.” But then he added, “At the end of the day, before God, she is the one I am marrying.”

I did not feel any better hearing his confession. I have been nothing but loyal to this man. I had no idea. I did not know when it happened. I sincerely thought we were an item, because he did not carry himself like a man who was playing girls as if we were some kind of game.

Fred is nice to me. He is not like the others. Maybe if there were a name for a well-mannered playboy, he would earn it. I believe he gave the same attention to both of us, which is something if you think about it. He could manage the two of us.

No boy has ever looked at me the way he does, especially when I am ill. He comes over. He cleans me up. He cleans after me when I vomit. He helps me when I cannot walk to the loo, and he feeds him. He literally nurses me back to health. He has done it more times than I can count. No one has ever shown me love the way he has. He buys me gifts. We talk regularly. I trusted him with all of me. And right now, yes, that trust is broken. But you yourself, just check the situation.

Sometimes I think about forgiving him and pretending it never happened. But the most annoying part is how sure he is about her. It does not look like he is changing his mind anytime soon.

I want to leave him. I want to pack my bags and go, for my own peace, my own sanity. I cannot keep a man who clearly belongs to another woman.

I do not know her, but she is clearly a lucky woman. I hope that one day she realises it.

I wish I could change his mind and have him stay with me. I wish that on our wedding day we could tell the story of how we conquered JHS and SHS rumours and even university. But here we are.

Please do not be too hard on me. I do not know whether I should leave or stay. After all, I have been in the background for many years now. Maybe I can still stay there.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

Or what do you think?

—Claire

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