former employee blocked me from a new job, the training I was promised training 2 years ago still hasn’t happened, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My former employee blocked me from getting a new job

I previously worked at an institution in a middle management role, 17 years ago. As a director, I had an administrative assistant reporting to me. She was older than me and often second guessed my decisions, to the point where I recall her screaming at me in the office, at which point I told her to go walk around the block until she felt like she could have a professional conversation. Eventually there was an incident where I did a formal written warning after she did something I specifically directed her not to do. This is the only time in my career that I have had to warn an employee for direct insubordination. After I left, she behaved in the same way to the AVP and VP overseeing the unit. The VP wanted to fire her but was told he would lose the position if he did.

Last month, I interviewed for a job at this same institution. I did not get the job, although on paper I was the most qualified candidate. My former assistant was at the team interview and refused to say hello, speak to me, or make eye contact. She asked a hostile (assuming ill intent) question in the team interview, and I believe I pivoted well. That said, the search chair was clear that this former colleague was lobbying against me.

I am considering sending this person a cease and desist letter (with a copy to institutional HR) basically saying that their allegations about my treatment of staff in the interview and to others at the institution are defamatory. Being held accountable for your behavior at work should not give you carte blanche to retaliate.

Should I let it go? Or should I have an attorney send a warning/cease and desist? I am normally the bigger person who would let this go but am increasingly aware that bullies don’t change their behavior unless you push back. And it’s not a huge industry.

Let it go. It’s not defamatory for her to simply give her opinion and she’s allowed to not like you (and to share that with others) based on her prior experience working with you, even if she was the one in the wrong. To be defamation, she’d need to be knowingly spreading false facts about you (not just opinions), as well as causing clear damages. You could argue that not getting the job constituted damages, but you’d need to show that her statements were the reason you weren’t hired and that she deliberately lied about you. It’s a lot of energy and expense to prove defamation.

None of that means you couldn’t still have a lawyer try to scare her into shutting up, but it’s a much more aggressive move than is really warranted. You’re better off just knowing that you have an enemy in that department at that institution, and doing informal damage control to the extent that you can (such as explaining to your contacts there that you used to manage her and she dislikes you for holding her accountable).

2. Manager wants us to solve problems with other teams ourselves

My manager has stated they when there are performance issues from other departments that impact us, they would prefer employees in our department address the issues directly with the offending employee. These often involve routine procedures and policies that these employees are aware of and are already receiving several reminders regarding when projects are due and needed components.

Many people in our department feel after reminding and requesting several times for others to basically do their job, it becomes a management issue. Our manager says they want to empower us to have these conversations and it doesn’t need to come to management. This makes me uncomfortable. How would you suggest proceeding?

Well, “empowering you so it doesn’t come to management” sounds a lot like “making you do a part of my job that I don’t like so that I don’t have to.”

Now, maybe that’s ungenerous. Maybe that’s not your manager’s motivation at all and they truly don’t understand workplace dynamics and who has standing to address which issue, or what the limits of your powers are. Either way, it’s a ridiculous plan. It’s fine to say, “Please try addressing this with the person directly once and see if that fixes it before bringing me in.” But when that doesn’t work, you need to be able to escalate it to someone who has real authority; otherwise you’re just stuck trying to nag and cajole a peer.

Try saying to your boss, “I’ve approached Jane about this directly several times. Nothing has changed, and I feel I’m at the limits of what I can do. At this point I think someone with more authority needs to step in.”

3. How to make my case for a new hire

I’m getting ready to make a pitch for a new hire in my department. I’ll be giving the pitch to our executive committee, and while I know I have at least some supporters in my corner, I don’t think any of them understand how desperate the situation is. I have also already gotten pushback by the owner of the company, but the decision will be made by the full committee.

For several years, I have been the sole marketer at an international company. This year, they hired a junior employee to work for me 30 hours out of the week and spend 10 hours a week doing odd jobs around the company. (Spoiler: She has never been caught up on marketing hours since this arrangement started.)

In this presentation, I’m trying to convey:
1. The big challenges our company and industry faces right now
2. The broad scope of what the marketing department is being asked to do (essentially the work of six people on the low end)
3. Why we can’t just throw money at top-of-the-funnel tactics and expect that to work if we don’t invest in mid-funnel tactics
4. Why this wonderful, talented, quick-learning employee is simply not enough in light of everything we need to do
5. The job description of the new role and how I see it fitting into our very small department

I did my first run-through of my presentation and it went 45 minutes. I know that’s way too long, but I don’t actually know what is an appropriate length for this. I am desperate, and I want them to fully understand how dire the situation is — but I don’t want to talk them to sleep or irritate them by going too long. What do you suggest?

Yeah, this is way more detail than is usually wanted in this situation, particularly points 1 and 3. Honestly, I’d say start with five minutes at most, maybe 10, unless you know for certain that your company culture expects this kind of pitch to be significantly longer. Keep it to the fact that you’re being asked to do more than you can with your current staff, what you could do if you had an additional hire, and what you won’t be able to do without one, and keep it fairly high-level, not getting into the weeds.

You should be prepared to speak to all the other points on your list, but only if you’re asked to expand.

4. I was promised training two years ago that still hasn’t happened

When I was first hired to my current job, I was told by one of my interviewers (who was, at the time, to be one of my supervisors) that I could eventually transition to a hybrid role. I’ve been operating under that assumption since then. I love my job, but I’ve always expected to be given additional training … eventually.

It’s been two years. In that time, that supervisor has changed roles. The other supervisor has also moved on. When I brought this discussion up to my current supervisor earlier this year, she said that she was unaware I had been promised any such thing, and that I would not be doing any extra training.

The thing is, I don’t have any evidence of this. It’s not in my offer letter. I attended multiple meetings where this training was brought up, but no one ever sent any email follow-ups. I have no way to prove that the initial conversation ever took place. For a while, I let it go. My job is my job, and I’d prefer to keep it over challenging authority and potentially being fired.

Now, though, it’s time for our biannual review, and I’m wondering if it’s time to bring it up again. I don’t intend to be aggressive about it, but I wonder if I could request a revisit to the “extra” training. I’ve noted a few occasions where it would have been beneficial for me to know X or Y, but I don’t know if my supervisor will see it that way or just take it as me being “bad at accepting feedback” (which is another note she gave me at my last review). Is there anything I can do? Should I bother bringing it up? Or should I just accept, at least for now, that I won’t be receiving the training I was told I would get?

That was a conversation two years ago with someone who no longer manages you, so I would assume that any suggestions made in that interview are no longer in play — particularly since your current manager has told you that she doesn’t plan to give you the extra training or move you to the altered role. That would be true even if you did have documentation of the original conversation; a new manager is allowed to come in and have different plans (assuming you didn’t have a legally binding contract, which “we talked about this possibility in the interview” wouldn’t be). In other words, regardless of what was discussed two years ago, assume it’s not happening now and decide what to do from there.

In some situations you could bring it up as a new possibility now — not as “this was promised two years ago so when can we do it?” but as rather making a brand new case for it without reference to the original conversation (even if it’s just “I’d really like to do X, could we talk about whether that’s possible?”). But if your manager is already annoyed by the topic, I’d let it lie for now.

5. What should my resignation letter say when I’m quitting because of a horrible reorg?

I started my current job as an operations manager at a nonprofit almost 10 years ago. I had planned to retire from this organization. Recently, I found out that they had been planning a reorganization. A chunk of my job duties would be given to a new employee to be hired later. This would also result in me losing nearly a quarter of my salary, changing my reporting structure, and moving me away from a boss who has never liked me. Further, I would move from exempt to non-exempt, which seems like a way to make me hourly without being forthright about it.

In the intervening month, I have had a constant struggle to maintain access to necessary systems for my remaining job duties and continual confusion over distribution of duties (getting some duties back and then others back and taken away again). Currently, this “re-org” is in shambles on all sides because of a lack of planning out details and lack of knowledge about daily core processes on the part of those directing it. It has affected the entire office staff, to everyone’s detriment.

I am considering the changes a constructive dismissal, and one due to outright nepotism to boot. But as the salary changes were not to kick in for a couple of months, I have kept quiet so far, possibly leading them to think I planned to stay even after the thinly-disguised demotion fully kicks in.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful opportunity to work in a different field that I had left years ago. It couldn’t have come at a better time. I will be able to make more money or work fewer hours, or a combination of both, so leaving does not upset me.

I plan to turn in my resignation in a week. But what do I say? Unloading about how bad the situation has been seems unwise, even though references aren’t an issue for multiple reasons. However, I also don’t want to seem particularly grateful, either. What’s the least I can say in a resignation letter to not seem like a jerk and exit (reasonably) gracefully?

A resignation letter isn’t the place to get into your reasons for leaving at all. It’s just a sentence or two documenting that you are resigning and what last day is. It should literally only say, “This letter is to confirm that I am resigning my position, and my last day will be (date).” If you felt positively toward them, you could add, “I’ve appreciated my time here and am committed to a smooth transition” or something else similarly fluffy, but since you don’t feel positively you can stop after the first sentence.

The bigger question is what to say in your resignation conversation with your boss (which in most cases should be how you deliver the news; the letter is just written confirmation afterwards). In that, there’s really no point in going into how badly the reorg has been handled; you can simply say that you’ve accepted another position and leave it at that. If she asks, you could say that the revised position isn’t one that appeals to you, but you don’t even need to offer that if you’d rather not get into it. The timing of your departure will make it clear enough.

Related:
what should a resignation letter say?

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