COMMON MISTAKES LADIES MAKE IN A RELATIONSHIP (EPISODE 27 & 28)

2pm Saturday,

Samuel’s family house

“Do you still love my son?” Samuel’s mum asked seriously, scanning my face with her eyes. I breathed deeply and nodded,

“Yes i still do mum” i murmured. But my reply had no effect on her nor stopped her curious eyes from running through me.

__________

I arrived Samuel’s house quite on time that fateful day to assist the mum in preparing lunch. Something i did out of obligation and respect i had for the family.

However Samuel travelled home the previous day, expecting me to travel with him like we used to whenever i was visiting his family, but i declined his request leaving him totally surprised and scared. he feared i would embarrass him by not honouring his mum’s invitation, thus the happiness and relief on his face when i eventually showed up that fateful day.

His mum however was a bit cold and reserved as she welcomed me. I knew as a woman she really was very disappointed by my behaviour, but perhaps was forced to invite me because of her son whom she had to set aside her personal feelings to please.

“Are you really sure about that?” she asked. I breathed deeply, smiling nervously.

I really was glad she sent her son away before questioning me, something only wise mothers with good experience would do. I equally felt she wasn’t listening nor paying serious attention to my replies, but was intently examining my facial expression with each reply i gave, as if she was a mind reader.

“If you are still in love with him as you claim, why break up with him?” she queried. I shrugged, calmed my excitement before pouring out my own version of the story.

“Your story is similar to what he told me, you both made mistakes so i see no sense in your decision. My son is seriously hurting and i can’t stand it any longer. But I have ordered him never to beg you again because relationships are not built with pity but with good understanding, so tell me, how long are you willing to put him on hold and what’s your plan for the other boy?” she asked inquisitively.

“Mum whatever will be will be, i promise to work out things with your son but i need a little more time to sort myself out. I still love him” i replied, calmly avoiding saying anything about Emmanuel. She shrugged and smiled weakly.

I instantly knew she wasn’t convinced with my reply, nor did i need anyone to tell me i had failed her test. She really read through me so easily. A strange gifted woman she was.

She asked no other prying questions as i spent the rest of the afternoon with them before rushing back to my lodge amidst Samuel’s pleas. I knew the way i left without spending a single night with them like i used to, further added weight to her suspicions.

“Polluting Samuel’s mind would be her next line of action” i reasoned.

I really was unable to sleep that fateful night as i pondered over the whole affair. By 12pm the next day, i was already on my way to Emmanuel’s family house with weird feelings in my heart.

“Whatever is written can never be changed”—How foolish i was!

2pm Emmanuel’s family house.

Emmanuel, his mum and i sat at the dinning table, eating the Sunday rice before us. I was very nervous as i ate my own share of the meal, and couldn’t help praying for the lunch to end quickly.

“I’m really delighted you honoured my invitation, you can’t imagine how pleased i am” Emmanuel’s mum said to me sweetly, while I blushed and said nothing.

“We really do have a lot to talk after the meal, so relax and enjoy our hospitality” she added quietly. I nodded with a calm smile.

_________

My heart really pounded furiously as i stepped into Emmanuel’s family house that fateful Sunday. Guilt and fear totally consuming me without warning. I would have turned and ran back that moment, if not for Emmanuels mum who came out of the house, saw me and came forward happily. The joy in her eyes as she came running totally buried my guilt and fear.

“Daughter in-law” she greeted as she hugged me.

________

Emmanuel hardly touched his food that afternoon as he kept staring and pleading with his eyes, but i pretended not to notice, even though i very much understood his plight.

______

A heavy rain however started immediately after lunch. Lightening and thunder striking like madness.

“Don’t worry dear, the rain will stop before 4pm” his mum assured me with a smile as she led me to a sofa, while Emmanuel excused himself to attend to some areas of the building which was leaking under the heavy rain, leaving his mum all alone with me.

“I know all about your story with my son. Trust me if i was in your shoes, i would have poured hot water twice on him before allowing him to explain himself. I really don’t blame all you are doing to him, but i swear by my honour, my son is really suffering over this issue” she softly said, held my hand and stared into my eyes.

“No matter how hard we try to fight or pretend, the truth is that the memory of our first love affair will always remain buried in our heart. Our first love Is the root by which other relationships stand and just like a house will never stand without a foundation, our life will be meaningless without the story of how it all started. Our first relationship really shapes and dictates the direction of our future relationships. Without it, i doubt if we will ever have the wisdom nor experience to control our heart. I do know your heart is beating furiously as i speak to you and i equally know there is doubt, confusion and uncertainty in it. This is where an elder like me comes in, i will never wish you bad nor decieve you, because any agreement we arrive at will equally affect my son either positively or negatively” she lectured. I shook nervously as i listened.

“What do you feel whenever you look at him?” she asked searchingly. I swallowed hard and shook my head.

“I don’t just know ma, i can’t describe what i do feel, because it’s a mixture of hatred, compassion, fear, anger and happiness” i confessed. She breathed deeply with a smile.

“You still love him my daughter, please don’t fight it any longer” she pleaded with wet eyes.

I knew she was very right, but i instantly remembered Samuel. A boy who showed me care and love when i needed it.

“I really can’t go back to your son because i’m already with another person” i sobbed. The good old lady closed her eyes, breathed deeply and drew me to her chest

“I really do understand dear, because my sister experienced the same thing when we were teenagers” she murmured with a broken voice. I instantly raised my face and stared at her.

“Yes my dear, i speak with experience, the best you can do for yourself is to follow your heart, allow it to be the Judge. Marriage is not something built on pity nor sympathy, but something built on solid love. Please dear let my words not look as if I’m rushing you. There is still enough time for you to think over everything. I have your phone number, so reaching you won’t be a problem, but just know that if you should accept my son, we will quickly arrange the marriage ceremony in no time” she concluded with a smile, leaving me totally lost and confused.

_________

The heavy rain finally stopped around 6:15PM messing up the road and making it very unideal to thread on. I was stranded.

“Our road wasn’t this bad last raining season. It’s as a result of the red soil poured on it by the contractors handling the construction” Emmanuel explained as we stood outside minutes later.

I had insisted on leaving after the rain stopped, declining his mother’s pleas for me to sleep over, but looking at the road i knew i wasn’t going anywhere that fateful sunday evening.

8:45pm

His mum gave me an old lovely pink night wear which i really didn’t know where she got from. I thanked her, took my night bath and relaxed in the guest room.

I was swiftly carried away by my thoughts as soon as i laid down, that i never noticed when Emmanuel came into the room, nor when he sat on the bed.

“hey Mary” he greeted. I instantly sat up and stared at him suspiciously. His smile calm but intense.

“I will be heading straight to town as early as 5AM tomorrow because of my work, hope you can wake up by that time? So i could drop you at your lodge, before going for my own business, though it all depends on our road. let’s just pray the road gets a bit dry before dawn” he said calmly, but before i could reply, a heavy thunder went through instantly jolting us. Rain started dropping on the roof once again.

“Oops” he exclaimed, while i smiled, even though i had no reason to do so.

Before i knew what was happening, his lips were on mine. I unknowingly surrendered completely to him and he took advantage of me once again.

Minutes Later

We silently laid beside each other, totally exhaused and weak.

Finally the sense of deep peace that overtook us during our lovemaking quickly began ebbing away. The implications of what had happened hit home and slapped me intensely.

A tide of guilt and self loathing swept throuh me.

“I have betrayed Samuel” i sobbed.

What really bittered me the most was that Samuel never even went this far with me all through the while we’ve been together. He’s always wished we keep the love making aspect till our wedding night. Here i am giving it freely to someone who doesn’t even deserve me. I was so ashamed of myself.

Is this how my relationship gonna end with Samuel??

EPISODE 28

“Don’t cry my love, i know you do believe in destiny. This was destined to happen and nothing would have stopped it from happening” Emmanuel whispered to me, but i really was inconsolable because i knew what i did was beyond pardon.

“How do i face Samuel after this? How do i stand in his presence, what will be his reaction when he finds out” i wondered sorrowfully.

“Baby stop crying, the deed has already been done, it’s now left for us to mend the rest” he pleaded,

“And how do you suggest we do that?” i asked with tears.

“I’m very serious about marrying you, all i need is just your consent, leave the rest for me, it will be history in no time” he begged passionately.

“I can handle myself. I perfectly knew what i was doing when we made love”I said to myself like a lost soul.

“Oh Mary stop talking nonsense” he consoled and kissed my hair, “We are in this together, count on me for anything” he spoke calmly, making me stare into his eyes. I saw sincerity, fear and uncertainty in them.

“All i want is for you to be the mother of my children, i say this with all sincerity, open your soul to me baby. I need not only your body, but your soul and spirit as well, please make me yours” he begged.

“Emmanuel please let me be, i’m still very troubled and confused” i sobbed.

“Why is it so difficult for you to accept me my dear why?” he asked eagerly,

“Because i owe Samuel a lot, he was by my side when you abandoned me, filled my spirit when i was weak, and defended me when you weren’t there” i poured out. He instantly blushed,

“I may not be very much in love with him like i used to, but i’ll still be loyal to him till he sets me free” i added, while he stared at me with a coloured face.

“What nonsense are you saying?” he asked curiously with trembling lips,

“I’ll be very honest with him, i’ll confess everything that happened tonight once i go back to my lodge tomorrow. If he breaks up with me over it, so be it, you can then have your chance” i promised, leaving him in a terrible shock.

“Are you out of your mind or what, surely he will end things with you but i don’t think he will let you go without first breaking your head, the fury of a cheated guy is very enormous my dear, are you trying to kill yourself?, Mary what has come over you?” he asked anxiously. I smiled painfully and shook my head.

“That’s the only atonement i can offer, if he kills me over it then you know we weren’t destined to be together. Whatever will be will be, my life is already messed up, i have no reason to fear anymore” i murmured. He quietly stood up with a very terrible sick look and shrugged.

“Alright let’s see how it plays out, but my dear i think you are not okay, your grief has affected you badly” he murmured sadly.

“Whatever is written can never be changed, if something happens to me, then know it was destined to happen” i replied with a weak smile. He nervously dressed up and left without another word. So very shaken he was as he left the room that fateful night.

“MY God hope i’m not insane?” i prayed as i waited for Monday…..

MONDAY 7:15AM

Emmanuel dropped me in front of my lodge. I thanked him, opened the front passenger’s door and tried to alight, but he quickly grabbed my left hand and stared at me.

“please Mary i beg you, don’t do anything silly” he pleaded. I smiled and shook my head,

“As for my confession, i will go ahead with it. Don’t you worry about me Emmanuel, i can perfectly take good care of myself” i assured him before alighting.

Walking into my room, i rehearsed all i planned to tell Samuel. It really wasn’t easy making up my mind for such deed, but like i told Emmanuel, ‘nothing would stop me from going ahead with it’.

Just like fate would have it, i ran into Samuel at the staircase, he was going downstairs to fetch water but instantly froze when he saw me. There was suspicion and relief in his eyes as they fell on me, while i nervously returned his look and greeted him.

“Mary where are you coming from?? I know you aren’t coming from your house?” he asked inquisitively.

“Of course i’m not coming from home” i replied quietly, left him and climbed the stairs. He quickly followed me, abandoning the water he was on his way to get.

“So where went you?” he asked when we got to my room.

“Do you really want to know?” i asked calmly as i sat on my bed. He stood beside me, scanning me intently with his eyes.

“Do i still owe you any explanation concerning my movements? Isn’t our relationship officially over?” i asked with a dirty smile. He scoffed and bit his lips

“I see you are trying very much to harden your heart, no problem but i still insist to know” he muttered.

“Alright since you insist, i spent my Sunday at Emmanuel’s family house and i’m just coming from there” i opened up coldly. His face instantly coloured. There was shock, pain, disbelief and sadness in his eyes as he stared at me.

“No it’s not true” he murmured with a broken voice, sat on my bed and covered his face with his palms. He never cried out but i knew he weeped in his heart.

I stared at him clueless on what next to say nor how to behave towards him. He sat with his face covered for about fifteen minutes before composing himself and drawing close to me once again.

“Did he, did he touch, touch you?” he nervously asked. I was instantly torn between telling him the truth or lying to him. My confusion left me silent which equally confirmed his fear.

“Choi Mary, why, why nau??” he asked murderously with unshed tears melting his eyes. I was unable to stand his voice nor gaze any longer. I quietly stood up and backed him.

“I don’t deserve you Samuel, i really do care about you, but i don’t understand my flesh anymore nor the cravings in my heart. Please free yourself from this torment and permit me to get another girl for you” i prayed with a fast pounding heart. But all he did was just to shed his tears which he very much struggled to hold, silently on my bed. I was very touched and would have cried beside him if not that i wanted him to let me out of his life.

Patiently i waited for him to come around. I knew only one thing could happen that moment. Either he ends it like a man or ends up humiliating me. No matter which he chooses, i knew nothing would make him want to continue with me.

Only a woman has the ability to send a great man to his grave without lifting a finger.

“But what really took you to his house?” Samuel asked minutes later, after cleaning his eyes.

“His mum invited me for a little chat, but when i got there a heavy rain broke out and i was forced to spend the night with them” i answered calmly. He swallowed hard with pain, his eyes soaked once again with tears.

I really was uncomfortable watching him cry, i never knew guys do cry for love nor cry in such undignifying manner. Yes i was very touched, but his tears only drew out pity from me. Nothing more, nothing less.

I knew he was very hurt and disappointed, but all i eagerly waited was for him to cut the last rope loosely binding us.

“What do i do now?” he murmured unhappily,

“It’s very obvious i do not deserve you, please purge me from you heart and permit me to find a suitable girl for you” i begged calmly. He breathed deeply and covered his face again.

“Seriously Mary, i don’t know why all these are happening, we have a great relationship going between us, and now you are breaking my heart and making me the laughing stock of everyone. I hate to love you” he poured out bitterly, while i closed my eyes as his furious words registered in me.

“I gave you everything you wanted and you are now paying me back with this unjust behaviour, it’s very unfair” he cried and stood up.

I anxiously stared at him with my hopes up. I was very sure he was about leaving my life for good. My eyes melted as i watched him walk to the door. Truly he never deserved such treatment.

He silently stood beside my door with his left hand on the door knob for some minutes, before turning to face me once again. He stared intensely at me for a while before advancing towards me with an unhappy look.

“I can’t walk out from your life because of this single mistake Mary, we have been together for a long while and you haven’t given me cause to complain till Emmanuel showed up. I still do love you, let’s just forget everything and start afresh. I know you are acting the way you do because you are very confused, however i do appreciate your honesty, not every girl will confess such a horrible deed. I do prefer the devil i know than the saint i don’t know. I still do love you, let’s start all over again and put all that has happened these past few weeks behind us” he calmly said with a broken voice and eyes filled with tears, as he squatted by my side. I was deeply stunned, shocked, surprised and moved.

I never expected such response from him. It truly left me a bit relieved, disappointed and happy. Infact my confusion reached its peak that moment.

I WAS LOST

-To be continued-