A Pastor Poured Oil On Me And I Ended Up Selling Everything I Had For a Boyfriend

I came to campus and decided to take God seriously. I always told myself I would go to church, commit to a group in church, and take God seriously, but I never did. I gave myself excuses on Sundays. I used lectures as an excuse and told myself, “God is there for me always. I can run to Him when I’m ready.”

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But one Sunday, I dressed up and decided to attend church. I belong to a church, but it was far from campus, so I decided to attend this student-oriented big church on campus. It’s a very popular church and very fashionable. Their members stay colorful and proud so everyone will know they belong to that church.

The day I went there, I was enjoying the service, dancing up and down and praying like I’d been sent to the Jericho wall. I was all over the place, so when they said new members should come to the front, I couldn’t hide. I went. I introduced myself and said I was there to worship with them.

A gentleman I later came to know as Bernard came to take my details and right there said, “Newcomers attend a meeting with the pastor before they leave, so you’ll have to wait.”

I waited until much later. We had to meet the pastor. The pastor was so young you would mistake him for a student. He welcomed us, about five of us, and gave us the word of God and prayed for us. He would put his hand on your head, say a few prayers, and move on to another person. When it got to my turn, he stayed longer. He shouted the loudest. The intensity of his prayer was not like the others. When he was done, he said, “Wait. God has something to tell you.”

I waited when everyone else had left. I was left with Bernard and the pastor. He sat next to me and said, “God has good things for you—good things that will send the fragrance of heaven into your life but you have to sow a seed to tempt God. Let God know you’re ready. The bigger the seed, the bigger the grace. If you have to sell something precious to activate the grace, sell it. God gives, but you have to give to prove your readiness to receive.”

Brother Bernard took my number before I left the church. When I got to the hostel, I thought deeply about what he had said. “What do I have to give to God? God knows I’m empty. Must I give from nothing before He will pour into me?”

Bernard started calling and encouraging me about the church and asked me to join a group. He would talk sweetly about wanting to see more of me in church, and I told him I wouldn’t fail him. On Saturday, he came to my hostel and picked me up to attend a group meeting. He introduced me as their new member. About seventy percent of the members were students, some of whom I already knew.

On Sunday, I went to church and a lot of people came with a lot of money to sow as seed. They would mention the amount and the church would scream, “Activation!” (That’s not the exact word because I don’t want to give the church away.) All the money they gave was in thousands. Most of them were also students. Again, after church, the pastor came to me and said, “Don’t harden your heart. God is ready for you.”

Bernard started telling me what people do to be able to afford the kind of seed they sowed. “They sell their personal properties ooo because they know what God can give in return.”

By the third week, Bernard proposed. He said he wanted a godly relationship. I accepted. I found a boyfriend in the same church where I hadn’t even sown a seed. I was busy loving Bernard while the pastor was also busy looking at me somehow anytime we met. One day after church, the pastor prayed for me again and poured oil on my head, and I never felt the same again.

I went to my hostel and asked my roommate, “How much will I get if I sell my laptop?” She told me she had a friend who could help me sell it and get enough money. We called him to come and check the laptop. He said he could sell it for GHC1,500. I asked, “How about my phone? How much will I get?”

It was an iPhone 13 Pro Max. He said I could get GHC7,000. I told him, “Sell both.” A few days later, he brought me GHC9,000 as the total amount from the sales. I put everything in an envelope and the next Sunday, I went to church and sowed a seed with the money. The pastor was so happy. The prophecies kept coming and coming and he concluded, “Take an umbrella. It’s going to rain.”

Bernard also started taking money from me. Our relationship had grown to a point where the pastor was even aware of it. He advised us to be chaste and committed. If I told Bernard I had received money from my parents, that very week he would run into a problem and need a certain amount urgently. I gave him whatever he asked for.

I was in the church for the whole semester and was so committed my friends couldn’t even recognize me. I woke up one dawn to pray and I couldn’t open my mouth. No matter how hard I tried, nothing could come out. I burst into tears, not knowing what was happening to me. I slept, woke up, and felt lighter.

I started looking for my laptop and my phone. Meanwhile, I had been using a yam phone after selling those things ooo. My roommate said I was crazy. “Have you forgotten when you sold them?” Then I stopped and asked myself, “What made me do such a thing?”

I went down memory lane and everything started coming back to me afresh—the first day at church, the prayer, the anointing that changed everything. I cried and swore never to go there again. That evening, Bernard came asking me to lend him some money. He said GHC500 and promised to give it back the next day.

All the money he had asked from me was always supposed to be paid the next day, but it never came, and I didn’t ask questions. But that day I asked, “What happened to the ones you took? You never paid. No, I don’t have any money to give.”

He looked at me in shock. The next morning, he was asking me to go and see the pastor with him. I didn’t go. I stopped going to church and attending meetings, all the while feeling hurt about selling those things. I spoke to a friend who had been to that church before and had also stopped attending. Immediately I finished telling her my story, she burst out laughing. She said, “Leave that guy you call your boyfriend or else he’ll lead you back to them again.”

I haven’t left Bernard. That guy loves me, and it shows. He’s the only guy I’ve dated who has never asked for sex. I’m sharing this story to seek wider clarity. Is it possible to be spiritually manipulated into doing all that for a church? I swear if he had asked for more seed, I would have sold other things just to raise the money. That was how high and far I was in faith, yet the real me doesn’t even pay tithe or go beyond GHC5 when it’s time for collection.

Thriving In A Relationship When The Man Doesn’t Have Money

I’ve asked Bernard to give me space while I think through all this. The feeling I had for the church is no longer there. Now the name of the pastor annoys me. The name of the church makes me feel triggered. And Bernard, I don’t know where to place him. Maybe after this pilgrimage of self-finding, I will tell him to leave me alone.

—Bridgit

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