Widowed at 38, she cried out to God to sustain her into her old age. The answer came in the form of a pickleball injury

April 1994 began with cruel irony for Carina Khoo. It was no April Fool’s joke when her once-cheerful husband died by his own hand, leaving her a widow at age 38.

How would she get through the grief and anger, and provide for her young sons, who were just 5 and 10 years old at the time?

She only had “O” Levels, and at the time, was working part-time in the backroom of a bank.

“I was not very good in my studies. After leaving school, I worked as a clerk in a pest control company for 13 years,” Carina, who is turning 70, told Salt&Light.

She could not have foreseen how God would provide for her, and answer her prayer for a career that would see her through her older years.

Love and loss 

Carina’s husband had worked as a boarding officer with a Japanese shipping company, helping their ships obtain the necessary documentation and clearance to dock in Singapore. 

They had met through Carina’s sister. It wasn’t a set up; they met at a party and were instantly attracted to each other.

“He was a caring man. When I was sick, he would cook porridge for me. When he was away in Japan during Valentine’s Day, he would ask his sister to buy me roses,” Carina recalled.

Then her husband moved to a bigger company, where he managed numerous ships coming through Singapore. 

The increased responsibilities brought new pressures. At work, he was mocked for appearing confused despite having been in the industry for many years.

“He lost his confidence,” Carina said.

“He tried to resign twice. But each time, he thought about how he would provide for his family and tried to carry on. The second time, his boss asked him to leave.

“It wasn’t that he was fickle-minded. It was because he was worried about the family,” she explained.

After losing his job, he became very withdrawn. 

“His confidence was shattered. He became so depressed that even simple tasks, such as changing a light bulb, became difficult.

“He would stay home, read the Bible, then wait for me to come home from work,” she recalled.

When Carina came home, she had to care for their young children and cook for the family.

“I didn’t have much time to spend with him – that is my regret.”

She tried to boost his confidence – encouraging him to take up a course to become a taxi driver, as he knew Singapore’s roads so well.

“But he felt like a zombie who didn’t know what he was doing”.

He worked as a taxi driver for just one day, before ending his life.

Ironically, he had also secured another job in the shipping industry. He never made it to his first day of work.

Carina had sought help for her husband. Their Pastor had counselled him. Afterwards, Carina decided to look for a professional counsellor for him.

But it was too late. Carina became a widow at 38.

“During this time, I kept asking God, ‘Why him? Why me?’ I lost hope. I was angry,” she told Salt&Light.

“Perhaps, I blamed God for not saving my husband.”

It was especially difficult because of how the couple had first come to know Christ.

“Why not rely on Him?”

Carina was raised in a non-Christian family. “My parents used to say that the Christian God is a Western God.”

In her mid-20s, while working as a secretary in a small firm, a colleague brought her to church. There, she met a woman named Alice, who shared stories from the Bible with her.

“I was very interested to know about this God who can save me, and who I can rely on when I am in trouble,” she remembered.

“I came to understand that I can have Jesus as my Saviour, and that I can have eternal life. Why not rely on Him?”

Until then, Carina had always felt that she could only depend on herself.

“I didn’t understand my parents’ religion or who they prayed to. And when I was in trouble, I didn’t think that anyone could help me, except me.”

Alice continued to nurture her in the faith.

“I began to attend church and finally invited Jesus Christ into my life.”

Despite her mother-in-law’s objections, Carina continued attending church and was eventually baptised.

Her husband was initially unsure about attending church. But Carina asked her Pastor to speak with him.

He eventually accepted Christ and became “a strong Christian”.

The cheerful man Carina had married became more serious about his faith as he read the Bible. The couple hosted cell group meetings in their home. He served as a drummer with the worship band, despite having no formal musical training, and also helped with administration at their small church. He shared his faith with his colleagues and friends.

So when he died, Carina struggled to understand why God had allowed it to happen.

For a time, she drifted away from God. But friends from church continued visiting her.

“Eventually, I returned to church despite my doubts because I wanted my children to continue being raised in the faith,” she said.

“Though I struggled, I still relied on Jesus to protect my family, even though my anger towards God still lingered.

“But I knew that our Lord is good, and He had a plan for me.” 

A fresh-baked start

After her husband’s death, Carina began working full-time at the bank to provide for her family.

A friend from church, Christina, stayed with Carina’s family for two years to help care for the children. After that, Carina’s father moved in for two years to help.

Then one day, while watching television, Carina saw an advertisement for a skills upgrading programme for workers. It was a baking course sponsored by the Chinese Development Assistance Council (CDAC).

Carina had always loved baking.

“The next day, I called them. I went for an interview, and was selected.”

The course fee was S$6,000, but she only had to pay a negligible sum.

She learnt to make cakes, pastries and bread. But it wasn’t easy. There were also theory exams, practical work like displaying food, and plenty of homework. 

But perhaps that was what she needed. It left her with little time to ruminate. “I felt that God had given me something I loved at exactly the time I needed it most,” she said.

Carina saw God provide in other ways, too.

Her church offered to support her family financially, but she declined.

She sold her home, and used the proceeds – after buying a smaller flat – to tide them through. When it came time for her sons to go to polytechnic, she took out credit card loans to pay for their education.

Carina wondered whether God might be leading her into the baking industry. But despite her prayers, doors to baking jobs did not open.

Carina subsequently worked as a secretary, first at a gynaecologist’s clinic and later at a design-and-build firm.

By then, she was in her 40s, and a new concern weighed on her.

“I told God, ‘I don’t see a future in what I am doing. How many more years can I stay on as a secretary? I am worried about my future.

“‘God, can You provide me a job that will see me through my older years?’” 

The injury that led to an opportunity

Then an opportunity she never expected came after she was injured while playing pickleball. 

Around 25 years ago, when she was in her 40s, Carina took up pickleball with a group of former school badminton players like herself. 

At that time when pickleball was far less popular than it is today, Carina and friends struggled to find enough people to play with. So they started their own group at Mountbatten.

Before she knew it, Carina had developed the pickleball equivalent of tennis elbow. 

She visited various TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) practitioners, but none brought relief. 

Then, her older son heard about a practitioner in Upper Serangoon who was good at treating such injuries. “I didn’t know the address, but went to the area to look for him,” she said. 

During the year that she was  being treated, a loyal staff member who had worked there for 20 years had suddenly resigned. 

“(The TCM physician) asked if I could help part-time. He thought I was a good learner. And because he knew I played pickleball, he knew I was not the xiao jie (demure) type who might shy away from hard work.”

Still, her first day on the job was chaotic.

“I had to man the counter while people chased me for this and that. Using the computer system and dispensing medicine – both in Chinese – was a nightmare. 

“I felt so stressed, I wanted to resign,” she recalled.

Her mentor, knowing her difficulties, changed the registration system to English. He tagged his medicines with numbers. 

“My problems were solved,” Carina said.

The bed that was too high

A few months later, her mentor offered to teach Carina massage techniques to help clients with sports injuries.

“I was excited,” she said.

That is, until she encountered another problem.

“The massage bed was too high for me,” said Carina, who is only 1.56m tall.

“So I wasn’t able to effectively apply pressure to massage the client’s body … at least, that was my excuse.

“Looking back, I knew that God had sent me there. But I kept saying, ‘I cannot, I cannot, I cannot.’ I felt like Jonah running away from what God had called him to do,” she said.

The next day, her mentor sawed the legs of the bed down to suit her height. 

Yet another reason to resign had disappeared. 

The massage course that changed her future

Eventually, Carina’s mentor paid for her to take a diploma course in holistic massage. 

Again, she saw it as God’s provision.

“God had a plan for me, and He was going to fulfil his promise to me.”

But the course was demanding. Carina felt “looked down upon” as she did not have the same educational qualifications as her classmates. She said: “The principal did not believe in an old and slow student like me.”

But she pressed on. “Surprisingly, the other classmates failed the course. Only I, and the person who would later become my business partner, passed.” She would eventually operate a sports therapy shop with this course mate.

Carina did not see the significance of all these seemingly unrelated events at the time.

It was only later that the pieces began to fit together, and she knew that God had been leading her.

“Where I am now, it’s all part of God’s plan.”

“Looking back, I believe that as in Psalm 124 … if not for the Lord who has put skill and intelligence into me, I would not have been running a sports therapy shop for the past 23 years.”

Carina Khoo attends Amazing Grace Presbyterian Church, a family-oriented church with a mix of contemporary and traditional worship, welcoming people from all backgrounds.

AMAZING GRACE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH FAMILY CARNIVAL & 30TH ANNIVERSARY SERVICE

To celebrate 30 years of their community presence, service and care, Amazing Grace Presbyterian Church is holding two events.

All are invited to their Family Carnival where there will be games, food and activities for kids. Redeem food and games coupons at the carnival ticket booth.

Then attend the thanksgiving church service the next day. It will be filled with worship, prayer and an inspiring message. Come as you are and experience fellowship, hope and encouragement in a warm and welcoming community. This will be followed by dinner.

Date: August 22, 2026 (carnival)
          August 23, 2026 (service)

Time: 1pm-6pm (carnival)
            4pm-8pm (service followed by dinner)

Venue: Amazing Grace Presbyterian Church
              408B Upper East Coast Road
              Singapore 466484

For more information: call 6442 3986 or email: churchadmin@agpc.sg

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