What If I End Up Settling for the Short Man and He Cheats on Me?

I am a nurse, a good one, and I am here because my heart is in shatters. Here is the thing. I am currently dating two men who are both amazing in their own ways. Oh, so amazing. However, I am facing a dilemma. A big one.

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The man I actually want to marry has not proposed yet. I really do not know why he is sulking and dragging his feet like some reluctant bride. The other man is someone I am not truly interested in starting a serious relationship with. At all. No. He will be thirty-seven soon, and I am approaching my thirties, which makes me very anxious. Usually, all these things are supposed to be planned out. I was supposed to be married by twenty-five, have a child and a darling husband by thirty. Only then would the sun orbit properly around the planet.

The man I am considering is great overall, but I feel a lack of attraction because he is quite short, and I am tall. So you see the imbalance. Whenever we are intimate, there is a physical mismatch that makes things awkward. I am tall, he is short, and I find myself faking enthusiasm. I worry that my friends will laugh at me for being with someone shorter. I mean, they all know the plan was never to marry a short man. Besides this, he does not have a good sense of style. I have tried sending him videos and pictures of how I would like him to dress, but he has not changed. It is not that he cannot afford it. He earns over ten thousand dollars and comes from a financially stable background, and his parents sometimes support him.

Additionally, I do not agree with his religion, but we manage to get along. He is generous, kind, and a peacemaker, which are wonderful qualities. However, I am feeling pressured because of my age. Being close to thirty, I feel my options may be limited.

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

Another concern is that if this shorter man were to cheat on me, it would be incredibly painful. I cannot bear the thought of it. Let us say I consider you, walk down the aisle, agree to be your wife, and you cheat on me? Me? Me, who has considered you? That is an abomination. I know it sounds strange, but I think it would be easier to handle if a tall, handsome man were unfaithful instead. I am not trying to discriminate—we all have our preferences.

I know it sounds strange, but I think it would be easier to handle if a tall, handsome man were unfaithful instead. I am not trying to discriminate. We all have our preferences. Some want a partner who is plus size, some want someone short, and some want someone tall. Some want to marry a pastor, and some would rather die than marry one. Some want a poor man, some want a rich man. You see? Choices. So do not judge.

But sometimes it gets to the point where we settle, and the truth is, I do not want to settle for less and regret it all at the end.

 Yet, I also wonder if I could grow to love him after marriage because he truly is a good man, and I believe his love for me is genuine.

But I am afraid that if I lose him, I might not find anyone else like him. Please, what should I do? I need to get this matter settled.

—Cathy

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