True Life Story: My Brother’s Wife Has Become A Huge Problem In Our Family

True Life Story: My Brother’s Wife Has Become A Huge Problem In Our Family

Dear Lively Stones,

My younger brother’s wife moved in with us in December because my brother abandoned her and travelled abroad without informing her. They had been having issues since they got married 3 years ago. How they met, I still don’t know…all I know was, my brother just surprised the family with the news of his wedding. And because everyone has been expecting him to get married since he was almost 40 years old, we were not too disappointed that he did not tell us he met someone until he announced wedding.

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The first red flag that our family noticed was that everything about the wedding planning was handled by the girl’s family. They only sent us Aseobi to buy. Na so o…we just showed up to pay bride price and attend wedding ceremony. Infact, they barely attended to my family during the wedding but thank God my family had their own caterer…they would not have give us food to eat. My brother has finally married a slay queen. We were all just looking.

Another thing is, my family is very educated and understanding…so we wont get into anyone’s relationship to interfere. But it was clear, this Benin girl was controlling my brother. We also thought it was love that was shacking him. Plus the girl has the looks most men are attracted to….curvy and beautiful….and all that …But soon as they got married, this girl gave rules, no family member to visit them except her mother. Next thing I heard, the girl started quarrelling with my brother cos she was making too much financial demands that my brother could not meet up with.

When they quarreled, this girl would pack her things to her mother’s house and my brother would go and be begging. Her mother would be insulting my brother. The quarrelling became worse. The  next year, when the quarelled…it was my brother who would leave the house cos he did not want her to go to her mother’s house. My brother would go and stay with friends for weeks until the girl calmed down.

The friends were the ones who told our family what was going on cos our brother never for one day reported his wife to us. So, when next they quarreled and its always about money, my brother would come stay in my place. Our family started letting my brother know that this girl is abusing him and its not a do or die affair. But my brother kept saying they would overcome their marital challenges soon.

I remember one day, my brother went home and this girl and her mom had changed the locks in the house…my brother was too ashamed, he slept on the corridor of the house. When my family heard it, we told my brother he should file legal action but he refused. We respected his opinion so we continued to stay out of their situation. For three weeks, my brother could not enter his house…we saw the girl and her mom driving his cars in town. My brother had to break the locks to get into his house.

This made the girl so mad that she packed her things and left the house. She was gone for almost a month. Maybe she thought my brother would come begging as usual but he did not. Then she returned but found out that my brother had moved out of the house. That was when this silly girl called me to beg me to talk to my brother. She came to my place and knelt down to start begging. As usual, as a peaceful family and me as the spiritual head of the family, ..we intervened and my brother came to take her back to his new place which happens to be a new house he just bought.

One would think that this girl has calmed down but my brother said his driver told him that soon as he leaves the house, that a guy comes to his house to visit his wife and he stays for like 3 hours everyday. My brother set a trap and caught his wife with a guy in his house. My husband recognized the man as his wife’s ex. They were not in bed but the guy sat on the couch and was drinking beer in my brother’s house while my brother’s wife was busy cooking peppered snail for the ex.

My brother got so mad, he got security to throw the guy out and beat his wife up. The frustration was now too much. My brother then filed for a divorce but the wife and the mother have been sending everyone to beg my brother. Last December, my brother threw his wife’s things outside and locked the doors. He travelled to UK and told us that he has relocated.

The wife carried herself to my place and begged to stay with me, that she has no place to stay. My wife is a business woman, she is always travelling, so she did not mind…This girl said she wanted to stay with me cos she did not know where her husband was. She thought he travelled and would soon be back. The family did not want to tell her where our brother is because, he did not tell her either. Eventually, we told her that her husband has relocated so she can sign the divorce papers. But this girl has refused to sign papers. She said no matter how long it takes, she would wait for her husband….

So that is how this girl has been living with me since for months. Right now, I am tired of her staying with us, I want her to leave but she starts crying and says she has no where else to go to. She said she will wait for my brother to return and prove to him that she can be a good wife to him. But the thing is, we don’t even know how long my brother will stay before he returns. Since she has been staying with me, she has been really nice though…she helps me with house chores and with my younger children. Yes, I have people taking of my house but she took over and has been doing a good job.

The only thing I dont like is her dressing…she wear bum shorts at home and she has a big arse….I am a man, sometimes, I don’t plan to look but she wriggles her arse when passing around me and I can’t help but look. Now, my wife trusts me cos I am a clergy man but does not mean I should walk into temptation just like that…last week was the last straw for me. She was washing her clothes and went to spread them wearing her short bump shorts and tank top that was showing her nipples.

Soon as I saw her, I had an erection instantly….that was when I lost it and told her to go change or leave my house….she started crying and saying I was treating her like she is not part of my family…..I later apologized for my outburst but right now…I don’t want her in my house anymore. I called my brother and he said I should give her money to look for her own place. I told her to look for her own place and she knelt down and grabbed my legs…that how will people see her as a married woman living alone….that they will think she is divorced…this girl knows how to cry and beg eh.

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I don’t know what to do…it will make me look insensitive or wicked to forcefully throw her out but what other choice do I have? Person wey marry don leave her for me…which kind of wahala is this?

Please advise me.

Anonymous

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