Phrases Healthy Couples Use

Whether you’re single or attached, looking for examples of positive relationships can be a powerful exercise. If you’re single, it can give you more clarity about what you want. If you’re in a relationship, it can help you identify potential areas of improvement. In an ideal world, everyone would have the skills to foster healthy relationships. In practice, that’s just not the case for many people. “A lot of people today don’t have the best template of what a healthy relationship looks, feels, and sounds like,” says licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Heather Stevenson. “With each generation, the way relationships look and function shifts. Unfortunately, for many people, there were no great role models for [healthy relationships.]” RELATED: Lies Pop Culture Taught Us About Love & Romance Maybe your parents got divorced early. Perhaps they never got along and you watched them fight. This doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to repeat their mistakes. Regardless of your upbringing, you can get inspired by the communication habits of healthy couples. “Seeing what healthy couples look like can serve as a blueprint for developing a strong and loving relationship,” according to Kayla Crane, LMFT. “As a couples therapist, I encourage couples to look to healthy relationships for inspiration and practical strategies.” Here are eight phrases the healthiest couples use on a regular basis — use them as a North Star to identify green flags and adopt helpful communication behaviors. 1. “I get where you’re coming from.” Healthy couples validate each other even when their desires and opinions clash. Phrases like “I see your point” and “I get where you are coming from” are great examples of validation, according to Lynn Zakeri, LCSW. The act of validating each other even when you disagree is a simple but effective communication skill — it helps both parties involved feel heard and understood, which, in turn, fosters closeness and trust. It can also prevent arguments from escalating and allow you to find compromise. RELATED: How to Respectfully Disagree With Your Partner During Tough Times 2. “Did I get that right?” “Did I get that right?” is another phrase that signals that you seek to understand your partner — a key communication habit of healthy couples. Stevenson recommends using this sentence after paraphrasing something that your partner just said: “It shows that not only are you listening to your partner, but you also have a desire to understand and help them feel understood. And it offers the other person the chance to correct you if they weren’t in fact heard properly, which helps communication get better.” RELATED: 8 Signs You're In a Healthy Relationship According to Zakeri, variations of this question, such as “Can you tell me what’s going on with you?” or “Are you OK? You look X but maybe I am reading you wrong — what's going on?” are also often used by couples who practice healthy communication. The idea, again, is to be curious about your partner’s emotional state while avoiding assumptions and miscommunications. 3. “How can I support you?” The strongest couples are, first and foremost, strong partners and teammates. They continuously look for ways to support each other. Zakeri says that this type of phrase demonstrates that you are helpful and considerate. RELATED: How to Help a Partner Through a Difficult Time If you notice your partner struggling with something, offer to lend a hand. If they’re going through a rough patch after a family loss, ask what you can do to be there for them. Being considerate can even be as simple as asking them if they need anything while you’re out, which shows that you’re thinking of them. 4. “Does that work for you?” “Does that work for you” is another phrase that signals that you take your partner into account, a habit that healthy couples embrace. “This shows your consideration for your partner by checking with them before taking an action, making a plan, or a commitment to something and helps align you as part of a team working together,” says Stevenson. RELATED: The Best Ways to Improve Your Relationship, According to a New Study For example, instead of confirming that you’re hosting the next holiday at your place, you might say something like “My parents asked if we can host the next holiday here, does that work for you?”. 5. “I need X… Can you Y?” “Expressing your needs in a relationship is one of the most important parts of both healthy communication and healthy relationships,” adds Stevenson. Your partner can’t read your mind — and it would be unfair and unhealthy to expect them to do so. Identifying your needs and making direct requests is crucial. While healthy couples don’t meet each other’s needs all the time (this would be unrealistic), using phrases like this helps partners show up for each other to the best of their ability. 6. “I'm sorry.” As Crane puts it, every healthy couple knows how to apologize: “Apologizing sincerely when wrong shows accountability and respect for the partner's feelings. It helps resolve conflicts and prevents resentment from building up, promoting a healthier, more trusting relationship.” RELATED: How to Apologize in a Real Way Learning how to say “I’m sorry” in a heartfelt, genuine way is a great habit to model. 7. “Let’s spend some time together.” Happy, healthy couples prioritize quality time instead of letting their bond run on autopilot. Saying something like “Let’s spend some time together” reinforces the importance of maintaining closeness and connection in the relationship, says Crane. So, take the initiative and suggest making time for each other. It helps build intimacy and keeps your relationship strong, fun and meaningful. 8. “I’m proud of you.” How often do you tell your partner that you’re proud of them? “This simple phrase can significantly enhance your partner's sense of worth,” adds Crane. It also encourages mutual encouragement and appreciation in your relationship, which feels uplifting. Healthy couples understand this — and show it in their communication style. The phrases above are meant to serve as inspiration on your journey towards becoming a better partner (or potential partner) and experiencing more satisfying relationships. Try them out and observe the results. 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