This First Date Idea Reveals Compatibility in Under an Hour

A first date can either go incredibly well or terribly wrong. If you’ve been in the dating world a while, you likely have a first date story that haunts you. (I know you’re getting the heebie jeebies just thinking about it—sorry about that!) But the hard truth is that if you’re someone who wants to be in a relationship, first dates, scary as they may be, are inevitable.

I remember my first date with my husband: We were at a coffee shop for nearly four hours because we could. not. stop. yapping. A year later, we got engaged at that same spot. While a coffee shop is a classic date spot I still recommend, sometimes you can only scratch the surface of your compatability over a cup of coffee. A second date or even a third date is usually required to determine if you’d be a good fit together. If you’re tired of wasting your time, or you’d like to fast-track the process a little, I may have the perfect first date idea for you—and it’s likely not what you think it is. Enter: an escape room.

This “ah-ha” moment came to me on a recent trip to Nashville, where I went with a few other writers I barely knew. During this trip, we participated in two escape rooms at The Escape Game. And let me tell you, I learned more about their personalities in under an hour than I ever could have over lattes. Don’t believe me? Read on for my entire case as to why you should try this seemingly unconventional, but genius (if I do say so myself), first date idea.

It’s a natural icebreaker

One thing about first dates is that they are usually pretty awkward. From the anxious lead-up to the date and awkward silences in between conversation topics to really hoping you didn’t forget deodorant (even though you’re 100 percent sure you put it on), a first date musters up a lot of nervous feelings.

While there’s really no getting around the initial awkwardness of a first date, an escape room makes an excellent ice breaker. Before you even have time to think about how the date is going, you are plunged into an activity together that requires all of your attention. This really helps to take the pressure off and break the ice. Suddenly, “So, where are you from?” turns into “We need to operate the control panel to disarm the fuse box!”

My group and I had little time to talk before our first escape room, but once we got in there and got moving, it felt like we were all synergized and ready to work together to escape. And once we were out of the escape room, conversation felt easy. There was no more awkwardness between our group, which, in turn, helped us get to know each other on a deeper level.

You get to see how they handle pressure

Have you ever wondered how your date would act in high-stress situations? An escape room offers just about as close to a simulation as you can get. It’s helpful to get a sense of how your date handles stress before life inevitably throws bigger challenges your way. And let me say, everyone in my escape room handled stress differently. Some stayed calm, cool, and collected until the final puzzle was complete, and others, well, not so much. While there’s no perfect way to handle stressful moments, there is a way that is compatible with your way. Ideally, you won’t both be freaking out when the walls are caving in (in my escape room experience, quite literally).

In real life, stressful seasons come and go, and while an escape room is just a glimpse into how they may respond, that’s sometimes more than enough to determine if you’d be compatible down the line. If they’re overreacting or getting overly frustrated in an escape room, think of how they may handle stressful situations that aren’t literally just a game. Not to mention, it could take a long time (maybe even months) to understand how your date reacts to stress. This is an excellent opportunity to assess whether you’d want to weather storms with them from the very beginning.

You get a good idea of how you work together

During my escape room experience, I noticed that we naturally split into groups with whom we worked well. Once we found those people, we were able to work more efficiently on solving the puzzles and had more fun doing so. In the same way, you’ll quickly find out if you and your date make a good team.

In the escape room, you may find you have different priorities, that your communication styles clash, or maybe you’re both control freaks. However, you may also find that you’re in sync the entire time, and you work better as a team than separated, which is a great thing to have in a partner in real life. You always want to feel that when a problem arises, you have someone who can help you figure it out and who doesn’t bog you down or make the issue worse.

Additionally, depending on the dates you choose, you may not have the opportunity to see how you actually work together until later in the process. Dinner and a movie or a walk around a museum don’t quite lend themselves to seeing how you two interact when you’re working on the same thing. And cooking together, which is a great test of this skill, likely doesn’t happen until quite a few dates down the line.

You get a glimpse into their truest self

The good, the bad, the ugly: An escape room is the perfect test to see every side of their personality. Are they a natural leader or follower? Do they communicate their ideas well? Do they validate others’ ideas or shut them down? (More on this later.) Are they competitive? Are they good collaborators? An escape room will answer these questions and give you insight into who they are. And if you’re paired with strangers (which you likely would be), you can even see how they treat people they aren’t trying to impress.

If your personalities clash inside the escape room, they likely will outside of it, too. But if the hour is full of fun and laughter, you seamlessly bounce ideas off each other and solve puzzles, and they never let the pressure get the best of them, then it might be worth pursuing a second date.

You get to see whether or not they value your ideas

In an escape room, you get the unique ability to see how your date responds when you have an idea. During my escape room experience, some people were more receptive to new ideas than others. It was clear when someone wanted to be the “leader”—you know, the person who thinks their ideas are the only good ideas.

If your date deems themselves the leader, and then steamrolls all of your ideas, take note. This doesn’t bode well for the future. Similarly, if they can’t admit they were wrong when their idea didn’t work and yours did, that is another red flag. It’s so important that the person you’re seeing always listens to your ideas, validates them, and doesn’t make you feel stupid (even when an idea is admittedly bad).

You have a shared experience right off the bat

The moment my group and I left the escape rooms, we started debriefing the entire experience; we talked about our favorite puzzles, the funniest moments, and how cool the room’s design was. Immediately, we had a shared experience to bond us. Plus, it’s such a unique experience, which makes for a memorable and fun story to share later with friends and family if it goes well.

At the end of the day, a first date should be fun, low-pressure, and help you learn more about someone. An escape room does exactly that, giving you a chance to laugh, connect, and make a memory together. And if it doesn’t work out, hey—you only spent an hour, not several dates, finding out.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lauren Barnhill, Contributing Writer

Lauren Barnhill is a freelance writer with a passion for all things fashion, beauty, home, and lifestyle. Beyond The Everygirl, Lauren has written for top outlets including Real Simple, SUCCESS, and BuzzFeed. She is also the voice behind Leisurely, a Substack newsletter all about living an unhurried, intentional life.

READ LAUREN’S FULL BIO

Feature graphic images credits to: Ro Ricci | Dupe, Matheus Santos | Dupe, Kristen Giardino | Dupe, Jade Church | Dupe, Kylie Clayborne | Dupe, Archivist | Creative Market

The post This First Date Idea Reveals Compatibility in Under an Hour appeared first on The Everygirl.