The Art of Good Morning Sex: Benefits, Positions & More

Have you ever woken up in a deep state of arousal? Not just experiencing morning wood, but actually turned on?  Whether it was a seriously sexy dream you just woke up from or sprang up seemingly out of nowhere as soon as you became conscious, it might be the only thing you can think about.  And if you slept in bed with someone else, whether a spouse, a long-term partner or a hookup, your first instinct might be to try to initiate what’s commonly known as morning sex. There is something special about getting it on in the morning: sex that’s not preceded by a hot date, flirty banter, drinking, or a day’s worth of sexual tension building up.  It’s sex without taking off layers of clothes, sex without makeup or grooming products, sex without brushed teeth, mouthwash or breath mints. It’s sex au naturel without pretense, and instead, it’s just bodies, sensations and desire. RELATED: Different Types of Sex Women Enjoy To help get to the bottom of why getting lucky before lunch is special, and what you need to do to make it happen, AskMen spoke with three different sexperts to put together everything you need to know about morning sex. What Is Morning Sex? For starters, there’s no exact time limit on what constitutes morning sex. It’s usually before noon, but late risers can technically enjoy morning sex in the early afternoon. It’s really more about waking up and having sex before you do anything else than it is about whatever numbers are showing on the clock. “Morning sex is, typically, sex you have first thing in the morning before getting out of bed or starting your day,” says Kayla Lords, sexpert for JackandJillAdult.com. “For some people, it’s sex before sun-up or before your alarm goes off. For others, it might be the sex you have when you first wake up, regardless of the time of day.” And there’s a biological reason why morning sex just makes so much sense. RELATED: The Brain Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life “Testosterone and energy levels can be higher in the morning, so many people report that they feel more primed for sex,” says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. “If you have a penis, morning wood, also known as nocturnal penile tumescence, is part of your regular sleep pattern, and you likely get erections several times per night,” she adds. “When you’re awake, the neurotransmitter norepinephrine constricts the blood vessels of the penis to restrict blood flow and prevent erections.” While you sleep, however, O'Reilly notes, “your levels of norepinephrine drop and allow extra blood to flow to the penis, resulting in the morning wood — which you can put to good use during morning sex.” RELATED: The Science Behind How Erections Work Apart from the fact that there’s a decent chance you wake up already physically read to go — aroused, relaxed and with little to no clothing on — morning sex also differs from afternoon or nighttime sex in other ways. “Morning sex is different from the sex you have when you first go to bed because it’s more relaxed,” says Lords. “One or both partners are usually still sleepy. You’re groggy and primarily going on instinct.” While that might not sound like the stuff of sexual fantasy for everyone, lots of people do find it really hot. “For the partner being woken up this way, it can feel good to know that your partner wants you first thing in the morning before you’ve brushed your teeth, showered or even had a cup of coffee,” notes Lords. “Morning sex often feels more intimate than sex at other times of the day because just waking up and being sleepy is a vulnerable moment in the day.” RELATED: 69 Sex Things Every Guy Should Try at Least Once But while some are big fans of getting it on in the early hours, that doesn’t mean everyone’s going to be in love with the idea. “Different people have different sex time preferences, which may change over time, so make sure to chat about it with your partner,” advises sex educator Kenneth Play. “The preference may be from conditioning (do they always masturbate in the morning?) or from their personal circadian rhythm.” “Most of the difference is dependent on the person, and how they feel about morning sex, but there can also be some fun to having a morning quickie as a sort of ‘special event’ or when you know you have to head somewhere soon,” Play adds.  Morning sex before something — a regular work day, or a special occasion of some kind — can be an extremely pleasant experience. “Morning sex can help you to start the day on the right foot thanks to the endorphin release associated with arousal and orgasm,” says O’Reilly. “From a practical perspective, morning may be the right time because it sets the tone for the day. She also points out that morning sex can be a great option for couples who find they don’t have any energy left in the evenings. RELATED: Best Lazy Bedroom Sex Positions, Illustrated “By the end of the day, you can be both emotionally and physically exhausted, so if you love sex, get it out of the way before breakfast,” she adds. “Increased levels of oxytocin may also help you to maintain the connection with your partner throughout the day. Good sex can also lead to reduced tension and stress in your relationship as your body and mind reset after orgasm.” How to Have Morning Sex: Dos & Don’ts So what does good morning sex consist of? Let’s break it down: Do Get Consent Morning sex, like any sex, should be fully consensual for everyone involved. If one of you wakes up horny and the other one isn’t, you can obviously make the suggestion, but if they’re not feeling it, you’ll need to know when to give up.  ‘Playfully’ trying to bully them into it is not a good strategy, and, unless that’s a kink you've explicitly discussed before, trying to start things off when they’re still asleep is an outright horrible one. “Before you wake a partner up with sex, make sure it’s OK,” says Lords. “If they’re giving a signal that they don’t want it or aren’t responding, stop. Wait until they’re fully awake and ask them.” Not only is sexual consent paramount, it also suggests that discussing the matter the night before is also a good idea. “Get consent beforehand and negotiate before you go to bed, especially if they are not a morning person,” notes Play, since not everyone will feel up to having a discussion about what they do and don’t want immediately upon being awoken. That being said, if they are into it, here’s how to proceed: Don’t Make It Complicated One of the joys of morning sex is how simple it can be. You’re likely only half-awake when it begins, meaning there probably aren’t a lot of things to keep track of.  There’s a time and a place for sex that incorporates a lot of toys, a lot of position changes, role-play and so forth, but morning sex is probably not it. Instead, focus on a simple position, like spooning, and lean into the fact that this can be fun in a different way from night-time (or even day-time) sex.  “Don’t overcomplicate things,” says Lords. “Pull the covers back. Pick a position that’s most comfortable for both of you. You can push your partner’s clothes to the side or help them get naked (assuming you don’t already sleep naked).” Do Use Foreplay While the sex doesn’t need to be an hours-long marathon, that doesn’t mean you can skip the basics.  Helping to get your partner in the mood is a necessity if you want to have genuinely enjoyable sex, particularly if your partner’s a woman. In that case, she’ll likely need extra time to get in the mood. “Morning sex can be a softer, gentler kind of quickie,” says Lords. “But if your partner wants and needs the warm-up of ‘foreplay,’ give it to them.” Don’t Just Wait Until You’re in the Mood If morning sex is something you crave that never seems to magically materialize, it might be because you need to plan for it a little more. “Don’t wait until you’re in the mood (if you want to want sex),” says O’Reilly. “Most of us aren’t spontaneously in the mood — we have to get ourselves aroused, and then the desire follows.” RELATED: Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire Lords has a practical solution for this: “If you want morning sex to be a part of your life, talk to your partner about sleeping naked to make it even easier.” Regardless, talking to your partner about the idea of morning sex in advance can go a long way towards opening them up to the idea. Do Practice Safe Sex If you’re used to using condoms, that obligation doesn’t disappear just because it’s before noon. “Always remember to follow whatever safer sex protocol you’ve both agreed to,” says Lords. “If that means wearing condoms and/or using lube, do it. It would be a major violation of trust to pretend you ‘forgot’ that part.” Play agrees that having lube on hand is a key move. In case you aren’t already, consider keeping whatever you need for sex close at hand, such as on a nightstand next to the bed or at least somewhere in the bedroom, so you’re not tempted to go on without it in the heat of the moment.Don’t Fixate on Penetration As much fun as penetrative sex can be, it’s not the be-all end-all of sexual pleasure. Whether you’re trying for anal or vaginal sex, penetration on demand can be a whole lot trickier to pull off than oral sex, manual stimulation or even mutual masturbation. Even if you find other forms of sex less exciting, being flexible on what the sex looks like can mean the difference between both of you cuddling post-orgasm and the disappointment of a morning sex rejection. RELATED: Why Every Guy Should Master Non-Penetrative Sex  Morning Sex Pro Tips Now that you know the basics, how do you take your morning sex from good to great? Plan Around Lazy Mornings If you know you or your partner has to jump out of bed at 7 a.m. to make an early work meeting, or bring the kids to school, don’t expect much. Instead, whether you discuss it in advance or not, you should give morning sex a shot on stress-free mornings. RELATED: Understanding Maintenance Sex “Take into consideration your plans for the morning,” notes Play. “If one of you has to really make a meeting, maybe don't schedule it for then. Sleepy Sunday with plenty of time? Enjoy yourselves!” Not only will this make things easier from a pure scheduling perspective, less stress will make it easier for both of you to get aroused. Keep Water and Mints by the Bed Is bad breath a concern? There are ways around that, too. “Check in about morning breath preferences, or just don't kiss,” suggests Play. “Also, have a glass or bottle of water (bottles especially are great cause they won't spill) on the nightstand because everyone's dehydrated in the morning.” Morning Sex Can Still Be Dark You or your partner might feel more at ease with late-night sex because it’s dark out and you prefer to have sex with the lights off. If that’s the case, morning sex can present a hurdle if your bedroom is flooded with sunshine. “If you feel self conscious in the morning while you’re still waking up, keep a few sleep masks (to use as blindfolds) or do it under the covers,” suggests O’Reilly. If that doesn’t work, you can always invest in some heavy-duty blackout curtains. The Moment Doesn’t Have to End With Sex After things have ended, whether that’s with orgasms or not, don’t forget to let the intimacy of the moment extend a little bit. “Spoon and snuggle to stay connected for a few minutes afterwards,” suggests O’Reilly. While that might not be an option, if it is, a good post-coital cuddle can help end the moment on a high note. And one last thing? RELATED: Best Cuddling Positions, Illustrated “Remember to pee after sex, even if you're sleepy,” advises Play. Doing so will help both of you avoid infection by clearing bacteria out of your urethral tracts. No matter how hot or intimate your morning sex is, a UTI is not something you want to wake up to the day after. You Might Also Dig: Why Hotel Sex Is Super Hot, Explained The Giant AskMen Guide to Foreplay How to Talk About Your Unsatisfying Sex Life