She Asked for Divorce And Now Wants to Come Back

My wife asked for a divorce. It came out of nowhere. Yes, we’ve had some troubles after five years of marriage, but I didn’t think it was enough for my wife to ask for a divorce. In shock, I asked what had come over her, and she told me she was simply sick and tired of the marriage and wanted peace. I asked if she had consulted anyone before making that request, and she said she didn’t need anyone’s opinion as far as it was her choice.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

I ignored her. Sometimes frustration can make us make such decisions, but if we allow time to run us through our decision in daylight, then we can change our minds. I decided not to talk about it again and see what she would do.

The next day, she said, “So how are we going to manage the house? Are you moving out, or should I move out with the child?” I didn’t honor that question with an answer, hoping it was all coming out of frustration and she would cage her mind. Another day she said, “I don’t want this to bring a fight and turn us into enemies. I want peace. You’re still the father of my child.”

I walked out of the scene so I wouldn’t hear what would make me angry. Every day came with another question, which I conveniently avoided. One day, I came home and she had left with our son. When I called her phone, she didn’t answer. She rather texted a few minutes later and told me she had moved out since I wasn’t listening to her.

That day, I went to her parents’ house and told them everything. I thought they knew. It was the first time they were hearing about it. They asked what had come over her, and right in front of me, they called her. She screamed, “He came to tell you what I’d done, but have you asked him what he did to make me want a divorce?”

Her dad asked her patiently to come home to explain what was going on. I left, but a few days later, her dad called me to come over, and I went. My wife was there. When her dad asked her to tell me her reasons for wanting the divorce, she ranted for several minutes, but she was saying only one thing—that her life had stagnated in the marriage and I wasn’t doing much to seek growth.

I didn’t have millions when we got married. I was starting life just as she was starting life. She had a job, and I had mine. We didn’t have big salaries, but we prayed to make life better. After we got married, every suggestion I made to her didn’t go far. She either objected or countered it. I wanted us to have a joint account; she said no. I wanted us to buy a piece of land; she said she didn’t have much. I got the opportunity to travel outside, but she kicked against it, and because I didn’t have the money to finance the travel, I couldn’t go.

Yes, our lives had stalled a little bit, but we were not struggling. We ate three square meals every day. We paid our rent without trouble. When our child was sick, we were able to pay the medical bills. I don’t call this struggling. We could do better, but it’s all a matter of time.

When I asked her to single out one moment in our married life that stagnated her life, she couldn’t mention any. She mentioned the fights we’d had years ago and the things I said that hurt her badly. Everything she said sounded like she had decided on the divorce but was looking for a reason to back her decision.

Her dad asked what I had to say, and I apologized for stalling her life and promised to work hard so she should come home. She still shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. Her dad asked me to go as he handled the issue with her.

I came home and called her to reconsider and come home. She stopped picking up my calls. She texted often to tell me she was speaking to a lawyer, so I should get ready for the divorce. She said she wouldn’t reconsider. I told her one day, “That’s fine. Do whatever pleases you.”

I stopped calling and stopped answering her messages. For over a month, we didn’t talk. I called through her mother to talk to our son. I sent money through her mother too. Her mother often told me she was praying for us. For a month, I learned to live without her. I grew to accept she wasn’t coming back, so emotionally, I started the journey of healing even before the last hurdle, only for her to call one evening and say, “I’m coming back.”

“Back to where?”

That’s where we are currently—to accept her back or not. I’ve made a decision not to accept her, no matter what. And I’m also happy that no one is giving me pressure to bring her back to live with me. I asked her two questions, and she hasn’t been able to answer either of them satisfactorily: “What changed?” and “What did you see out there that you wanted to go and chase?”

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

She tells me she has listened to the advice of her parents and wants to give it a try, and also for the fact that I didn’t give up on her. I was blunt. “Then you can’t come back when I’ve decided to give up. It doesn’t work that way.” Her dad says I should pray about it. My parents have been indifferent right from the start, and they still remain indifferent.

Until I get satisfactory answers to those questions, I don’t think there should be a way back for her. Or am I being unreasonable?

—Eugene 

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******