My Girlfriend Spends My Own Money on Me and Calls it Love

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or finally seeing the truth, but everything in me is beginning to fear the woman I’m dating. We’ve been together barely a year, yet I’ve seen enough to question whether she’s someone I can build a future with. It’s not her beauty, her behaviour, or her attitude that scares me. It’s her stinginess. And maybe “stingy” is even a polite word for what she does.

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Since we started dating, I’ve been the only one planning dates and trips because according to her, “It’s your money so you should decide where to spend it.” At first, I laughed and thought she was joking. But it became a pattern. I would buy her thoughtful gifts hoping she’d one day surprise me with something too. Instead, anytime she wanted to “buy” me something, she would only show me a picture of it and say, “Don’t you think this would look nice on you?” If I said yes, she would follow with, “Then give me money let me buy it for you.” How does someone claim to love you yet refuse to spend even a little on you?

She’s not broke. She earns well enough to buy a GHC1,000 gift if she wants to. But it’s like her money is holy and my money is public property.

The day I lost my Apple Watch during a trip with her was the day I realized just how far she could go. I was really worried because I had bought that watch only a few months earlier. She touched my shoulder and said, “Don’t worry. I will buy some for you.” I was shocked. Something in me wanted to believe she truly cared. A week later, she sent me a photo of the Apple Watch online and asked, “Is this the one you lost?” When I confirmed, she said, “It’s expensive o. Why don’t you pay half and I also pay half?”

I didn’t argue. I just paid my half. Only for her to show up with a fake, cheap knockoff watch. She used my money to buy nonsense and pocketed the rest. When I confronted her, she said, “It looks the same. No one will know unless you tell them.”

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

That day, anger pushed me to go into her purse. I took everything I saw to cover my loss. She’s now angry and acting like I’m the villain.

But how do you stay with a woman who won’t spend on you, who manipulates you financially, and who steals from you with a straight face? People say a woman in love spends on her man. This one? She spends my money on herself and calls it love.

Isn’t this enough reason to walk away before she finishes me completely?

—Mavin

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