my coworker was my Uber driver, changing clothes in a non-locking office, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. When your coworker is your Uber driver

This happened to a coworker, not me, but now I’m paranoid it will. She told me that over the weekend she and her roommate got in an Uber to get to a bar, and the driver was our other coworker. I have nothing against side hustles/second jobs (I work one myself, as a bartender at a theater), but of all the people we work with (we’re standard office workers at a large employer in our city) I would not have expected this specific person to take up Uber driving for extra cash.

So, WWYD? My coworker said she was pretty silent the entire time but did acknowledge/greet our coworker/driver. I wouldn’t know how to act, especially if I was coming home after a night out and not sober, or with a date, or just having a bad day.

This doesn’t need to be a big deal! You’d treat the coworker like you would if the driver were anyone else you knew — meaning, greet them warmly, ask how they’re doing, and, if you’re up to it, make pleasant conversation during the drive. It’s no different than your own second job, or than if you ran into them on, say, a subway. I know the power dynamics might feel a little weird — you are now paying them to provide you with a service — but treat it like you would any other unexpected public encounter with someone you know from work, and it doesn’t need to be awkward at all.

If you weren’t in a frame of mind where you could easily carry on a warm conversation (whether from a bad day or whatever else), you could say, “I hope you don’t mind, I’m exhausted and was planning to just rest my eyes during the drive.” That’s probably a good strategy if you aren’t sober as well, to avoid lowered inhibitions leading you to say anything you normally wouldn’t.

2. My colleague has hives because of the stress of our jobs

I work in an industry that doesn’t seem stressful from the outside (arts and heritage) but, due to under-staffing, lack of clear exhibition schedules/timelines, and poorly defined job scopes, is really stressful. I have considered leaving multiple times, but the industry is small and it would be hard to get a similar job elsewhere.

Recently I found out that one of my colleagues has had full body hives for over a year. She told me and another colleague over lunch when we were talking about stress at work, and she said that her doctor has advised her to take a sabbatical. In the meantime she is taking antihistamines daily. However, she does not feel like she can take a sabbatical because we have ongoing projects that will only be completed in another year.

I was shocked to hear that and urged her to take a sabbatical. I lead one of the teams she is on and know that we could distribute her work while she is recovering. However, she said she doesn’t feel like she could.

A couple of days after that, I discovered that an ex-colleague also had full body hives from the stress of working our job. She has since left and the hives have gone.

I feel very concerned for the colleague who is currently experiencing hives. Is this something I should report to our manager? Or would that be a betrayal of her confidence?

Nope, don’t share it with your manager; this is your colleague’s private medical information and how she manages it is up to her. You can certainly raise concerns about stress and unsustainable workloads, and you can encourage your coworker to take time off/brainstorm with her about how to make that happen, but your coworker’s hives (two coworker’s hives, in fact — !!) are not yours to share.

3. Changing clothes in a non-locking office

I recently got my very own office — yay! It has no windows and is completely private, though it doesn’t lock. Is it unprofessional to change clothes in the office, rather than in the bathroom or a downstairs locker room? The office doesn’t have a culture of barging in without knocking, and people mostly leave each other alone unless the door is open.

I wouldn’t change clothes in a non-locking office unless you put a sign on the door saying “please knock.” Even if the culture of your office is not to enter without knocking, it’s still possible that someone might one day — they shouldn’t! but they could — and it’s just far better for everyone (you and them) not to have to deal with stages of undress at work.

4. Will my random email address hurt me in my job search?

I am new to searching for professional jobs. I have a random email address that I used for applying to colleges and scholarships, like 753rlaf61@gmail.com. Also, the name associated with it (my name, but not including my last name) shows up in an inbox as all lowercase. Will this random email be a mark against me as I apply for professional jobs? My name is too common for me to get myname@gmail.com, but I could get an email like myname[random numbers]@gmail.com. Would this make any difference at all when I am applying for jobs? If it would make a difference, is there a format or a few formats for the email address that you would recommend?

It won’t make any difference. If you wanted to look absolutely as polished as possible, you’d get an address more like name[random numbers]@ and also capitalize your name in the “from” field correctly, but no one is going to reject you for not having that, or even think much about it (if at all).

5. Should I mention performance ratings in my resume?

I work at a FAANG company known for being pretty tough/competitive in its performance ratings. Would getting the maximum rating multiple times be something worth mentioning in either a resume, a cover letter, or an interview?

When I interview people, I often have to probe pretty hard to get to what constitutes exceeding expectations at their company versus just doing one’s job, or whether someone was actually driving innovation versus riding along with their team, or whether their cool project actually met a business need. A high performance rating seems like convenient shorthand for “I accomplished things and my employers considered them valuable and my role in them important,” but I can’t recall anyone I’ve interviewed bringing up high performance ratings (as opposed to, say, actual awards), and I’m coming up on having interviewed 100 candidates at this company, so I’m wondering if it’s gauche.

It’s not gauche. Resumes can include things like, “Achieved highest company rating on annual performance evaluation all six years.” If you can quantify that, even better: “Achieved highest company rating on annual performance evaluation — awarded only to top 5% of employees — in all six years.” Even if you can’t quantify it like that, though, it’s still worth including; your interviewer can probe about how rigorously the company operated if they want to.

You just have to make sure to word it in a way that doesn’t inadvertently signal the opposite of what you intend to accomplish. Like if you were there six years, you wouldn’t want to say, “Achieved highest company rating on annual performance evaluation in 2022.” You want it to sound really superlative.

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