My Boyfriend Feeds The Needy But I’m Hungry. I’m Taking Him To The Shrine

A year ago, I met him at an event. Throughout the event, he chased me around asking for my number. I tried not to mind him, but then a friend I knew approached him and they spoke happily. It was that friend who convinced me to give my number to him because he wasn’t a bad man. He said he was Teddy and was from the UK.

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He sounded like telling me he was from the UK should make me shiver and give him my number. It was the reason I didn’t want to, but this friend came along and said, “Don’t you know him? Check his Instagram. He’s a great philanthropist.”

After giving him my number and on my way home, I checked his Instagram. He was doing a marvelous job with communities in need. He had an NGO that sent relief items to villages to cater for the poor and the needy. Not only that, he fed street kids and was all about giving. I fell in love with that aspect of his life, so when he later called, I asked him what motivated him to do all that.

He talked about love for people and also said he had been poor and needy before, so he knew the pain and suffering those people go through. That was why he was giving back to them to reduce their suffering. I commended him greatly, and he even invited me to the next one, which I gladly attended with him.

It felt like home, talking to these people and seeing the happiness on their faces when you give them something small. It shifted my perspective about gratitude to God, and I cried on my way home. He put his hand around me and consoled me. He said it was okay—at least we tried to help them.

I could share their story because I also come from a place of need. I’d suffered and was still suffering. There had come a time when I relied heavily on the benevolence of friends and strangers to get by. When I was in school, I begged and even did crazier things just to be able to raise my school fees. Looking at them reminded me of myself, and it hurt so badly.

Teddy and I became lovers. It happened naturally because I was in love with what he was doing and what he stood for. I was happy to do it with him, so I went out with him often and did this work. Through it, he proposed, and I said yes. He said he realized how passionate I was about the work and said he would like to leave the NGO in my hands while he was away so I could continue the job for him.

We spent two months together. I was basically living with him in his house. The house belonged to a friend who was also in the UK, so anytime he came around, he used that house—a very nice, beautiful house.

After spending months with him and he had left, I realized I was pregnant. When I called to tell him, he sent me 100 pounds and asked me to get rid of it, which I did. The day I told him I had done it and was in pain, that very day he stopped talking to me. I sent him messages and voice notes, but he ignored all of them. Some of the people he helped had come to know me, so they called, giving me messages to pass to him, but this guy never responded. He read my messages and left me on blue tick.

I was in pain for several weeks—both physical and emotional. While I bled through severe cramps, my heart also bled through abandonment. For over a year, I didn’t hear from him. I had moved on and was living my life.

I hit a very hard patch in life where my landlord was threatening to eject me if I didn’t pay my rent that very week. I had owed him for three months, and he was no longer laughing with me. From my left to my right, I had no one to help me. I owed friends and family. Aside from that, the job I was doing didn’t pay much, yet they were deducting a loan I had taken from them. I was suffering.

I made a sad post on my WhatsApp status, asking God questions and asking myself why I was alive only to go through suffering. Teddy came to respond and asked what the problem was. I knew he would hear my problem and help me because he was that man who went to villages to help people. That aside, he owed me an apology for ghosting me after I had gone through a painful process for him.

I told him my problem, and he told me to get a loan from whoever I could get it from because he was on his way to Ghana the next week, and when he was in Ghana, he would settle that loan. Instead of looking for a loan, which I knew would be very difficult to get, I confidently went to my landlord and told him what Teddy had told me. When he didn’t believe me, I put Teddy on the line, and he spoke to him sweetly: “I would have sent you the money right now, but I’m on my way to Ghana and everything is arranged. Just next week and I will pay.”

After all that, he asked me to forgive him for the ghosting because he also hit a rough patch in the UK and needed to hide for his own mental health. My help cometh from him, so I forgave him as if what he did didn’t hurt.

A week later, he was in Ghana. I packed my things and went to live with him again. I made his meals and also became a meal to him. I warmed his water and also warmed his bed. I was his wife while he was here. Every evening, he would take me to expensive restaurants to eat, and I would complain, “Why are we wasting all this money when there’s food at home?”

He was in Ghana for three weeks, and I was with him through it all. Whenever I asked him about the money, he said tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. I needed to go home for a few days to pack new clothes and come back. He told me he would be traveling the next day, so I should rather come two days later. The next thing I knew, he was back in the UK.

He has stopped picking up my calls, and my landlord is back at me again. Currently, I don’t sleep in that house. I move from one friend to another and back to the friend I started with, crashing on their couch or in their hall. I won’t be surprised if I go back to the house tomorrow and find my things outside the room.

My friends say I should call him out on social media. I am poor, but I am not shameless. One suggested I should follow her to her hometown; there’s a god who handles such issues, and within a week, Teddy would call and give me the money. I told her, “He doesn’t owe me. He only promised to give, and he didn’t. How can I take him that far?”

She asked, “Didn’t he sleep with you after the promise? Didn’t you cook for him? Didn’t you warm his bed and his food? My friend, he owes you—let’s go and collect it.”

It’s Not God’s Law For A Man To Apologize To A Woman

I’m tempted to follow this friend out of spite and pain, and when I get there, I won’t only ask for the money. I would also seek his downfall. I believe I’m not the only one he has done this to. He does it to people in vulnerable situations. If he’s down and begging, he won’t have the time to prey on people like us.

—Lulu 

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