my boss called me a “rando,” security camera is pointed at my desk, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

aIt’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss called me a “rando”

I’d been working at my company for a couple months, consistently contributing and even receiving recognition from other departments. So, I assumed I had a solid reputation. During a team meeting, my boss was discussing a recent project which I had a significant part in. I was feeling proud until they said something to the effect of, “Thank goodness this was a success, we’ve been hiring so many randos lately so there’s not much quality control.”

I am the newest member of the team.

The room went silent except for a couple of awkward laughs. I just sat there, stunned. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to cry, laugh, or teleport to another dimension.

Later, I approached my boss privately to ask about the comment. Their response? “Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it! I call everyone that.”

I’ve never heard them call anyone else a rando. Not even that actual random consultant who wandered into our office looking for the restroom.

Honestly, I’m still mad. Like, should I start wearing a name tag that says, “Rando”? Or add “Professional Rando” to my LinkedIn? What would you do in a situation like this? Am I overreacting? And, seriously, how do bosses not realize how much weight their words carry?

It’s that last part: many managers truly don’t realize how much weight their words carry. They think they can make offhand comments that people will just laugh off, without realizing that being a manager means their words will always feel weighty to someone.

That said, I’d let it go for now unless you see your boss devaluing you in other ways. If you do, that’s the bigger issue than this one remark anyway.

But once you’ve been there longer and have a more established rapport, at that point you could consider mentioning how much that stung and made you feel like you weren’t a part of the team.

2. My manager is trying to hold me back

I’ve been in my job for two years and I’m not sure what to do about my manager who appears to be holding me back career-wise.

I’ve had a handful of speaking opportunities through my job and, every time I do one, my boss is very against letting me and only lets me do so as a last resort. Each time I have done this, I consistently am told I did an amazing job, that was excellent, I should do more presentations, etc. by members of the audience. So I obviously I know my material and can answer questions about it.

My boss wants me to stick to ordering lunches for reoccurring meetings we have and told me he didn’t want me to apply for a more technical role on our team because he wants someone with more technical skills, but wouldn’t explain what those are. I have an MS in the environmental sciences. Now half our team quit and I’m getting the feeling he wants me to be an admin assistant rather than the scientist I am.

Should I stay in my job and ride things out? If I leave, what do I do about him taking it personally?

No! Get out. You’ve been there two years and your boss is actively trying to hold you back. Get out, get out, get out.

You don’t need to do anything about him taking your departure personally, if indeed he does. Changing jobs is a normal part of doing business! If you’re really worried about it, you can always say that you weren’t actively looking and the new job fell in your lap and was too good to pass up … but you don’t need to do that, and in fact it would be fine to say that you’re moving to a job that focuses more on your technical skills.

Related:
my boss is mad that I’m quitting
how exactly do you quit a job?

3. A security camera is pointed at my desk

My company recently installed security cameras in our office. We have two separate suites on the same floor of our building, and we prop the doors open so it’s easier for us to get in and out (we’re not customer-facing, so anyone who enters/exits would be an employee or someone like an HVAC technician). The cameras are pointed at the doors to make sure that strangers aren’t wandering in when they aren’t supposed to.

I just noticed today that the camera pointed at my suite’s door is also pointed at my desk and would most likely capture me when I’m seated, as well as whatever’s on my screen (the suite door is past my desk). Is there a non-weird or non-suspicious way for me to ask for the camera to be moved? Is it even something that I can ask about? I’m not concerned about my employers seeing me doing something inappropriate at the office, but I’m pretty uncomfortable with the idea of being watched. I don’t know, sometimes I just want to read a book during my lunch break without wondering if my employer thinks I’m committing time theft.

What’s the culture of your office like? Assuming you have a manager who’s at least semi-reasonable and not someone who manages as if the entire job is catching people trying to scam the company, it should be fine to say, “I noticed the camera by the door covers me and my entire desk, not just the door. As far as I know, no one else is being filmed like that, and I’m uncomfortable being recorded all day. Is it possible to adjust the angle so it’s not the daily Jane movie?”

4. How much should I tell employees when they complain about a coworker?

How much do I disclose to other employees about what corrective actions have been done to address a problem with another employee?

I supervise a team of entry-level employees. For most of them, this is their first professional position and so they are still learning some of the professional norms and need a lot of coaching. I try to follow the “praise in public, address problems in private” rule when managing. However, I’m not sure how to best to handle situations where another employee brings a problem to my attention. How do I assure them that an issue has been addressed, or that we are working with the “problem” employee to fix the issue, without violating the privacy of the person who is receiving coaching or corrective actions?

Sometimes the issue brought to me can be a quick fix, but other times, it’s something that will take time to work on and seeing improvement may be more gradual. If an issue continues, I do escalate corrective actions, including firing employees, but, again, I don’t want to disclose to others if a person is on the verge of being fired. So, how do I balance these two priorities — keeping disciplinary actions private while also reassuring my other employees that a problem is being addressed? Or am I approaching this all wrong?

You can indicate that you appreciate the feedback and are taking it seriously, without disclosing exactly what’s happening behind the scenes. For example:
* “I appreciate you telling me this and I will follow up on it.”
* “I appreciate you talking to me about this and I agree it’s a problem. Give me some time to work on this.”
* “I can’t promise you’ll see a change instantly, but it’s on my radar and it’s something I’m working on.”

As long as your staff sees that problems don’t fester forever and do get addressed, they’re likely to give you some room to handle things behind the scenes when you respond in this way.

Related:
how much should I tell a team whose boss is on a performance plan?

5. Time off when subpoenaed as a witness

I work for a mid-size company in a state where employers are required to allow employees time off for jury duty, without any loss of pay. Recently, I was served a subpoena to appear as a witness for the prosecution in a criminal trial; the case is related to former neighbors of ours in our condominium complex who had a domestic violence problem. It appears we ended up on the prosecutor’s list of potential witnesses because we called the police a few times after overhearing altercations in their apartment.

I don’t mind testifying at all, and would be willing to do it even if it weren’t mandatory, but it is. My company has informed me that I’ll need to use my PTO to cover the days that I will be absent from work because of this. Understanding that they are likely under no legal obligation to cover my missed time for me, does this make sense as a policy? I’m not likely to be gone for more than a couple days, so the amount of money at stake is negligible. I also can’t see that they would be setting any kind of bad precedent by paying me for the missed time…this isn’t something that’s likely to ever come again with other employees. If it makes any difference, I am a salaried employee in a white-collar position.

It’s not an uncommon policy, even for employers that provide paid jury leave, but you’re right that it’s not logical or consistent with their jury duty policy, since testifying as a subpoenaed witness is a civic duty in the same way that jury service is.

There are a number of states that require time off to testify as a witness, some of which (but not all) require that the leave be paid. Here’s a chart that describes the laws in each state.