I’m Praying for My Husband to Cheat on Me to Make Things Easier

My husband started doing well in life when he was young. Right after school, he had a very good job that paid him very well and also paid him big allowances. We married very early and set out to do great things together. He loved me, and I could see it. He provided for me and didn’t want me to do anything with my own money. The only problem I had with him was that he didn’t listen to me.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

When the money was coming, I told him we should buy a piece of land wherever he wanted it. We lived in Bogoso then because of work. He told me he wouldn’t like to live in Bogoso, so there was no need to buy land over there. I said, “Fine, then buy it wherever you want it to be. Land is not perishable. Ages later, you can still go to it.” For three years, I watched my husband throw money around when we had nothing in our name.

He sent money home every month to build their family house. His dad would call and tell him what they needed for the family house, and he would send it. He would send money to pay his siblings’ children’s school fees. He had a sister who had three children from three different men. He was the one taking care of the children.

That didn’t bother me, but I wanted him to do something for himself—something we could call our own. I talked and talked until I sounded like a broken record. He gave money to his elder brother, who lived in Accra, to buy land there for him, and his brother did. We went there to see it and advised him to start building on it immediately. Even his own brother advised the same. He asked me, “Where are we going in life that we need to run this fast?”

It looked like I knew something was coming. I had lived in a family where we relied heavily on planning to get through. We used the vulture’s life as the example. They said every dry season the vulture said it was going to build its house, but it never did until the rain started and it began to suffer the harsh weather. It was my father’s favorite story on planning, so I learned that. But my husband believed life would stay the same for so long because we were young.

And then COVID happened. He was part of the first batch of people who were laid off because of COVID. He came home looking like he was attending his own funeral. He lost his voice for days. He fell sick to a point I thought he had contracted COVID. I encouraged him that better days were coming. Later, we had to move back to Accra.

I advised that we go and live with his parents, in the house he helped build, until we could figure out our lives together. Moving to Accra meant I wasn’t also going to work until I found a job. He didn’t listen. Instead, he rented a two-bedroom house for us, believing his experience would get us a better job very soon.

By 2023, he was still in the house without a job. I had a job that didn’t pay well. He even told me the job was beneath me, so I should wait for a better one, but I didn’t listen to him. I took the job. By 2023, we were relying solely on my income while a child was on the way. He had nothing going for him, so he decided to sell the land he bought to help him stay afloat.

I said, “No, you can’t sell it. We don’t sell land no matter what. That’s the investment for our children.” By the time I realized, he was counting proceeds from the sale. He said he was going to use the money to start a business, though he didn’t have any business in mind. I pleaded with him to put the money in the bank so we could slowly figure things out together. He bought a car he said he was going to do Uber with it.

My spirit took flight. I knew what was coming, but this man never listened to me. He worked like he had something to prove but came home with very little. He said he was learning the curves of the job, and later he would make it big. I watched him go out there and come home with disappointment. I told him, “You’re not doing badly. You’re only expecting too much. Keep going.”

I gave birth to twins. It meant we needed to buy everything twice. My salary wasn’t helping. His car business brought nothing. The pressure was too much; sometimes I hid in the bathroom and cried. Everyone he once helped turned their backs on him, including his own parents and siblings. I had to start a shop business with the little I had. By 2025, my shop had grown to a point that I had two ladies working for me.

My husband sold his car when he had a job. This job pays him close to GHC3,000 a month. I asked him to give the car to someone to work with, for at least a year, and we would see how much he would bring. He didn’t listen. He sold the car. To date, I don’t know what he did with the money. He said it was in the bank, but it’s all lies.

I’ve carried my husband on my shoulders since 2021. You’d think this new job would ground him to take care of the house with the little he earns. In his mind, I have money, so he doesn’t give me anything. He doesn’t provide for the house and doesn’t take care of the children. I’m doing everything. I need help. I need my husband to be the man I married, but the only time he proves to be a man is when he’s on top of me. He does nothing a man does apart from sex.

The saddest part of this is that he has settled in life. He has no ambition to start a business or even look for another lucrative job. He says he has tried enough already, and it’s time for him to appreciate and be content with what he has. How can a married man with twins and a home be content with GHC3,000 a month? That’s all he earns—no other money from anywhere. And this money doesn’t reach the house. I think it gets finished on the way before he gets to the house.

He takes from my shop and doesn’t pay. On weekends, if I tell him to visit the shop and check on the ladies, he would ask me what I’m doing that he has to go and do that job, forgetting I have meals to cook, I have a home to clean, and also kids to take care of. He does nothing but flex around with his shoulders high like he’s learning to fly.

I’m tired of carrying him. What’s a husband who has nothing apart from sex? He doesn’t even have dreams. A simple dream to buy a dress for the kids, he doesn’t have it. I can’t stand it any longer, so I’ve stopped giving in to intimacy. I’m scared another pregnancy would pop up and I would have to do everything on my own. In our last argument, he said, “I will get another woman, and you’ll be the one to have a heartbreak.”

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

I told him, “Even your current situation didn’t break my heart, and you think getting another woman will do that?” I’m praying very hard that he gets that woman. That would make my exit very easy and sweet. If I leave him now, they’ll say I’m leaving a man when he’s down. But if he gets another woman and I leave, my defense will be very simple: “I left him in the hands of another woman, so he’ll be fine.”

All I have left in my head is divorce. I know if nothing changes in his life, we won’t survive this year. It’s better alone than being with a man who makes you feel lonely.

—Sally

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******