“If I forget, do I still matter?”: New guidebook launched to help churches love and include those with dementia

If we no longer remember who we are, or recognise those we once loved, or even recall the God of our youth, will we still be us?

If we forget, do we still count as people and as members of the church?

These are the existential questions that people living with dementia and their loved ones have. These are also the challenges that churches will increasingly have to struggle with, as dementia becomes a real and growing problem.

On May 30, Koinonia Inclusion Network (KIN) launched a new guidebook to help churches include those living with dementia and their families. Titled Yet I Will Not Forget You: Nurturing a Dementia-Inclusive Church, it offers practical principles, real-life stories and examples of dementia ministries in local churches.

Yet I Will Not Forget You was launched at the Dementia Ministry Conference organised by KIN. All photos courtesy of KIN unless otherwise stated.

More with dementia

It is a timely resource given the reality of dementia in Singapore.

According to a 2023 study by the Institute of Mental Health (IMH), about one in 11 aged 60 and above here currently lives with dementia.

Now that Singapore is a super aged society, where more than one in five is 65 years old and above, that number will only continue to grow. By 2030, one in four will be a senior.

More elderly means that more will have dementia. By 2030, the number of those living with the condition is expected to more than double from 74.000 to 152,000, according to the Ministry of Health.

But how equipped is the Singapore Church to manage and minister to members with dementia and their families?

“At KIN, we realised that only a few churches in Singapore – you can count them on one hand – had ministries to address people with dementia. This despite dementia being a national issue,” said Ps Leow Wen Pin, the Founder and Chairman of KIN.

The need to not forget

Yet I Will Not Forget You: Nurturing a Dementia-Inclusive Church aims to bridge this gap by providing practical guides for both the lay and the leadership. The title of the book draws from God’s assurance to His people in Isaiah 49:15 that He will not forget them.

Ps Wen Pin, who authored the book with a team of contributors, explained: “We want to remind the reader of two things: First, our abiding hope in life and death – and in dementia – is a loving God who declares to us ‘yet I will not forget you’. Dementia cannot conquer our God who remembers us.

“Second, our privileged vocation is to imitate God by ourselves declaring ‘yet I will not forget you’ to people with dementia and their families.”

Apart from his work at KIN, Ps Leow Wen Pin is also a pastor-theologian. He currently serves as Associate Pastor of Bethany Evangelical Free Church, overseeing preaching and instruction.

The guidebook provides a holistic understanding of dementia, including from a spiritual perspective, concrete strategies that churches can apply in dementia-inclusive ministry, as well as case studies of dementia ministries in Singapore churches that illustrate how dementia-inclusive ministry can be undertaken in different settings, said Ps Wen Pin.

A particular strength of the book lies in the fact that it is embedded in the Singapore and, therefore, Asian context.

This is important because “dementia is always experienced within particular families, cultures, and ecclesial traditions, and ministries of inclusion must be shaped accordingly”, noted Professor John Swinton in the book’s foreword.

Prof Swinton is a theologian and disability scholar best known for his work on dementia, disability and the theology of personhood.

Practical takeaways

The book comes in three parts.

Part A: “Understanding Dementia” presents a holistic perspective of dementia that includes a four-fold bio-psycho-social-spiritual framework.

The BPSS Model approaches dementia from four interrelated perspectives (hence the overlapping circles).

Part B: “Including People with Dementia” maps out what a dementia-inclusive church is like using the ABCs of Inclusion:

• Accessibility – those with dementia should have equal access to physical areas, ministry programmes and communities within the church;
• Belonging – they should feel that, memory not withstanding, they are still part of the church community and have spiritual friends on whom they can rely;
• Contribution – they should also have the opportunity to serve within the church.

Churches can apply the 3P Dementia Ministry Framework (pictured below) to plan and organise their dementia-inclusive ministries.

Churches can use the 3P Dementia Ministry Framework as a guide when they establish their dementia ministries.

“Prevent” is all about making members aware of the risk factors that give rise to dementia. “Prepare” helps members live with the reality of dementia. Finally, “Pastor” provides guidelines on how to care for those living with dementia and their families.

In Part C: “Singapore Dementia Ministries”, four churches with dementia-inclusive ministries share their journey. Each church featured comes from a different denomination and approaches dementia-inclusive ministry in its own unique fashion.

At the heart of the book is the Christian conviction that even when memory falters, God remains faithful.

“The Church’s calling is to live within that truth,” said Prof Swinton in the book’s foreword.

“To become dementia-inclusive is not simply to develop another programme. It is to learn again what it means to be the Body of Christ: A community held together not by efficiency, performance or even cognitive capacity, but by grace, covenant and love.”

Yet I Will Not Forget You: Nurturing a Dementia-Inclusive Church may be purchased here. From May 30 to June 30, 2027, you can enjoy a special 25% book launch discount (S$15).

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