I Think My Best Friend Has Feelings for My Ex, and It’s Breaking My Heart

I want to know if I am wrong for feeling this way. Isn’t there a girl’s code we are supposed to go by that makes what she is doing wrong? She has been my friend for a very long time. I have been there for her when she needed me, and when I needed her, she was there too, cleaning my tears, wiping my nose, and running a bath for me. So, I keep asking myself, why is she friends with the enemy?

My boyfriend and I broke up two months ago. Our breakup was messy. I went through a lot at the hands of that boy. He tormented my life, but I was too blinded by love to see it. When the love finally started fading, I saw everything in black and white. I realized just how much I had shrunk while trying to please him. My boyfriend said this, my boyfriend said that. I was expected to be there for him and him only, and he slowly isolated me from my friends too.

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My friend was aware of everything that was going on. I used to call her, shouting down the phone about how frustrated I was with the relationship. She would stay on the phone with me and calm me down. There were also times when she simply listened while I sobbed and cried over my boyfriend. I got to a point where I felt I should stop talking to her about my problems. I cannot explain why, it was just a feeling, but I brushed it aside and told myself it was no big deal.

It was during that time that my friend got hold of my then boyfriend’s contact. She was trying to reach me, and when she couldn’t, she contacted her boyfriend, who gave her my boyfriend’s number. I wasn’t okay with it. I didn’t like that she had his number. Not that I didn’t trust her, I just didn’t like the idea of her having it. Then I started having this strange feeling that she was doing something behind my back with my boyfriend, but I had no proof, so once again, I let it go.

We broke up two months ago, and now tell me why my friend, who knows and probably understands everything I went through, is liking and commenting on his TikTok posts with smiley faces and love emojis. It is not just one post that I can brush off as a mistake. It has happened on several posts.

I am not jealous. I know for a fact that we are done and never getting back together. What I am is deeply disappointed in my friend for going behind my back and doing this to me.

For me, my friend’s lover cannot be my friend, no matter the situation, let alone someone I am texting or commenting on their posts. I believe it is simply a matter of respect. Yet my friend is doing this to me. She doesn’t even know that my ex-boyfriend has told me stories about her, stories I refused to believe because she is my friend. If only she knew.

I feel betrayed. Very betrayed. I want to know if I am overreacting. How do you do this to someone you call a friend? Who does this to a friend? Is this normal? Is this enough reason to end our friendship, or am I taking things a bit too far?

I haven’t confronted her about it. I am just watching her. Maybe one day I will hear through the grapevine that she is dating him. Maybe I won’t. Maybe there is an explanation for why she is doing what she is doing. Or was she jealous of me all this while? Is that what this is? Or am I allowing my grief to overshadow everything that is happening around me?

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

Just know that if the roles were reversed, her ex-boyfriend would have automatically become my enemy. I’m just saying.

—Anita
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