I Sent My Boyfriend Intimate Photos And He Showed Them To His Girlfriend

I came to the UK to work and left my boyfriend in Ghana. We had dated for over a year before the opportunity to travel came. He invested heavily in my journey. When he didn’t have the money, he helped me secure a loan with an agreement that I would pay it back once I started working in the UK.

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He did all that because he saw a future for us. I did too, though sometimes I doubted it would work because of the distance. He told me, “I will be here waiting for you. When the time is right, you can arrange for me to join you.”

So, our plan was to be together in a few years, once I had settled. When I arrived, I called him. I had no friends here, so whenever I faced a challenge, he was the one I turned to. He encouraged me when I needed it and reminded me why I was here, urging me to work harder.

It became our routine to video call every night before bed. That was when all the intimate moments happened. I loved him so much that I did everything to make him happy and feel loved. He would ask me to take photos—the intimate kind—and send them to him. I didn’t think twice. I took them and sent them, and I could tell they made his day by the mood they put him in.

As soon as I started working, I began paying off the loan he had taken for me. Once that was done, I started repaying the money he himself had invested. After that, I sent him money every month. I was sending him money even before my parents had received a penny from me. My siblings would call, and I would tell them life was difficult here and that they should give me time to find my feet. Two years later, I was still telling them the same story while sending money to my boyfriend to buy land in our names.

Then one evening, I received a call from a Ghanaian number. When I answered, I heard my boyfriend’s voice. He said, “Gifty, are you not my friend?” He laughed, making it sound like a joke. I laughed too and asked who was questioning our relationship. He mentioned a name I didn’t catch clearly and said that person had been harassing him about it. I jokingly replied, “If he doesn’t believe you, that’s his problem.”

Later, we discussed it in detail, and he explained it was a friend he didn’t want knowing about our business. I had no reason not to trust him, so I let it go and allowed our love to continue. A few months later, the same number called me twice at dawn while I was asleep. When I woke up, I saved the number and looked it up on WhatsApp. The profile picture was of a woman. I didn’t think much of it, as a guy could easily have a female profile picture.

A few weeks later, the same number called in the afternoon while I was on shift. I couldn’t answer. Later, when my shift ended, I saw a message from the number: “My name is Oforiwaa, and I’m dating Nathan. I want to know what your relationship with him is.”

I took a screenshot and sent it to my boyfriend. He called immediately and told me not to respond. “In fact, block her number and don’t talk to her no matter what. She’s going crazy. She’ll see what I do to her. Is love by force?”

According to him, his parents had been pressuring him to marry or at least get a girlfriend because he wasn’t getting any younger, and the lady texting me was the one they were pushing on him. “You see why I’ve been telling you to do the paperwork quickly so I can leave this country?” he said. “I need to leave so they stop bothering me.”

The story didn’t add up because he had called me from that same number to ask about our relationship. I didn’t block the number, though I told him I had. I was waiting to see what would happen next. One day, I checked the number again, and the profile picture had changed. This time, it was a photo of a woman hugging a man and that man was Nathan.

My heart raced, but a voice in my head said, “Don’t be quick to act. Patience is a virtue you need right now.”

I took a screenshot and let it go. A few days later, I checked again and saw she had posted a status update featuring Nathan with the caption, “Someone’s son says he’s fairer than me. Is it true?” I almost replied that it was true, but instead, I took another screenshot. I knew the rabbit hole went deeper, and I had to wait to see where it led.

Finally, the number called again one night after I had finished my shift. There was anger in her voice. She said, “Stop sending naked photos to my boyfriend. It’s disgusting. Do you think that will make him love you? Is love by force? Aren’t there men in the UK where you are?”

I listened quietly as she ranted, and then I asked, “How did you know I was sending him naked photos, and who are you to warn me to stay away from him?”

She told me how long they had been dating and how their marriage plans had stalled because of me. I asked, “Because of me? What did I do?”

According to her, Nathan had told her his family was pressuring him to marry me instead because I was abroad and sent money to his parents. Because of me, his parents didn’t want to see her face or hear her name, but Nathan had promised her his undying love and told her she was the one he truly wanted, not me. I recorded the entire conversation. I told her to stop calling me and to deal with Nathan instead, as I hadn’t known she existed. She repeated, “Stop sending him those photos and videos. Don’t you have any dignity as a woman? Or do you think showing him your vagina will make him marry you?”

That was the most hurtful part for me knowing that something I had sent in private had been seen by someone else, and not just anyone, but a rival. I felt humiliated, but after everything, I simply sent the recording to Nathan with the message, “Marry her. She loves you that much.”

When he called, he ranted and repeated the same lies he had been feeding Oforiwaa, that she was his parents’ idea, not his. I said, “Maybe you think I was born yesterday, but you should know by now who I am and the kind of lies you can’t tell me. After this, don’t call me again.”

He sent a long voice note reminding me of the sacrifices he had made for me; the loans he took for my travel. He listed all the good he had done for me but didn’t mention what I had done for him, including the land I bought in our names. I blocked his number. He contacted me through social media, and I blocked him there too.

A little less than a year later, I returned to Ghana for the first time, and guess what? He took my advice. He married Oforiwaa. He heard I was in town and came looking for me. I said, “You look like a married man. All cleaned up and put together. She’s doing a good job on you.” He replied, “You made me do this when you knew you were the one I truly wanted.”

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I raised my hand and asked him to stop. I asked, “Where is the land I sent money for?” He answered, “It’s still there, in our names. It’s the only thing I have left of you.” I replied, “Keep it. It’s all yours now. I don’t know why I even asked.” He said, “At least, can I have a hug?”

I laughed and walked away. Men. Interesting people.

—Gifty

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