how to manage someone who’s angry about being laid off

A reader writes:

My department was part of an overall reorganization earlier this year, and now our new management team has decided to reduce our workforce. My team and I were blindsided with layoffs and job changes this past week. Most of our core job functions are being reduced or outsourced. I got a call while I was on vacation from the director of my department that my manager, many of my coworkers, and all of my direct reports were being let go. At the time of the call, the decision had already been made and everyone had been told, so I had no say or ability to advocate for them. I am being kept on, but my responsibilities and role will be changing.

The people being laid off have been given an end date three months in the future, as well as severance packages that extend their pay and benefits through the end of the year. Overall, while the situation isn’t great, the organization is trying to be generous. Our HR group is also offering resume support and job search assistance as part of the severance package. The director is offering up his professional network to try to find new positions for everyone affected.

While these decisions have led to a lot of chaos upon my return to the office, everyone has been understanding for the most part. The decisions on who is staying and who is leaving are not personal or performance-based; they were based solely on the type of roles they have.

The issue I am facing on top of all these changes is with one of my direct reports, Lisa. She is taking this situation very personally. I completely understand her being upset (we all are!), but she is now letting it affect her work. I was told she was rude to the director and HR rep during the meeting where they told her she was part of the layoffs. Since I have been back in the office this week, she has arrived late, stayed away from her desk, and left early with no notice. The director traveled to our office yesterday to meet in person one-on-one with everyone. Lisa disappeared before he could meet with her and he asked me multiple times where she was, leaving me in an awkward situation trying to explain it.

I sat down with Lisa this morning to check in and address the behavior. I reiterated that this wasn’t something either of us had any control over, and all decisions were made at the top without any input from me or my manager. I want to be supportive of her during this transition period and help her plan her next phase of her career. She has had great performance reviews since she joined us last year, so this behavior is coming out of left field for me. She explained that she is still upset about the decision and was angry and offended that the director came to our office. She’s mad that she was let go by him when he doesn’t know her. She said she “doesn’t like people like that.” She then said she needed to go to the grocery store, which is why she walked off early. I reminded her that she is still employed for the next few months and she could still be fired anytime before then (and lose her severance). I don’t expect over-the-top enthusiasm for the job, but I do expect everyone to show up and do the work they are paid to do until their end date. I also reminded her that if she really doesn’t like it, she can quit at any time. She told me that she is no longer excited about the job and is only here because she needs the money. She also told me she is ready to burn down every bridge on her way out.

Lisa is young and new to the workforce. I understand being upset about the situation, no one wants to lose their job, but I think her behavior is extreme and immature. I need to get the basics of her work out of her over the next few months, but I’m not sure what else I can do to encourage that. I really liked having her on my team and hired for a reason — she showed a lot of promise and has been a great asset to the team until now. Do you have any advice on what else I can say to her or how else I should manage this situation? I would hate to have to terminate her before her severance kicks in. I can deal with a little slacking, but when senior leadership is watching and commenting on the behavior, I can’t defend it.

It’s absolutely understandable for someone to be upset they’re being laid off, and it makes sense to give people some grace about their reactions in the immediate aftermath. If Lisa was upset in the meeting or arrived late/left early that first week, okay. That’s within the range of understandable responses. (Granted, I don’t know exactly how rude she was in the meeting letting her know she was being laid-off — there’s a difference between showing frustration and attacking people personally, making threats, etc. There’s certainly a line that could be crossed there, but without specifics it’s hard to say.)

But if she does want to stay on through the current end date, it’s reasonable to expect her to pull it together now. She doesn’t need to go above and beyond (even if she used to), but she does need to behave civilly and professionally and meet a baseline level of conduct and performance; otherwise, it doesn’t make sense for you to keep her on. In fact, just the opposite — since there are other people there who are trying to deal with a difficult situation themselves, and their morale during this period matters too.

And if she’s really serious that she intends to “burn down every bridge” on her way out, then you can’t keep her on. That could mean destroying files, badmouthing the company to clients, and all sorts of sabotage that you can’t knowingly open your team up to.

So, you need to sit down with Lisa and spell this all out. Tell you understand she’s upset but you can’t keep her on the team for the remaining three months unless she’s willing to commit to civility, reliable hours, and a baseline level of work. Ask if she wants to take a few days off, or even a week, to decide if she’s able to meet the conditions you’re laying out or if she’d rather wrap up now.

I would also say very explicitly, “When you talk about burning bridges on your way out, that concerns me. Was that hyperbole in the heat of the moment, or something you really mean?”

You can be sympathetic to how upset she is while still making it clear what the requirements are to stay on.

For what it’s worth, the risk of this happening is exactly why so many companies have people leave immediately when they’re laid off.

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