How to lighten the baggage for our children: D6 Family Conference 2025

We all carry baggage as we journey through life.

“The negative things that we encounter … create some tremendous baggage for us to carry. And we don’t often take the time to understand how our encounters form us and how the formation that is going on in us impacts ourselves in the world,” said Pastor Chris Sasser.

Ps Sasser was speaking via a recorded video at the panel discussion: “Lightening the baggage for our kids”. The session was part of D6 Singapore Family Conference 2025, themed “As We Go”.

Ps Chris Sasser spoke via a recorded video. Photo from Ps Chris Sasser’s social media.

The negative things we encounter in life can affect our psycho-social-emotional and spiritual development, as well as our health. Baggage can become major stumbling blocks in life.

Ps Sasser added: “Scripture talks about how we need to throw off everything that hinders us in our journey of faith (Hebrews 12:1-2). These things that weigh us down and keep us from living the life that God has for us, I’m calling them ‘baggage’.

“The reality is that we live in a broken and a fallen world. Sometimes our baggage is caused by our own sin and choices, sometimes it is caused by the choices of other people.

“For us to really be able to live the abundant life that God has for us, we need to recognise and navigate our baggage. We can’t change the past, but we also don’t have to keep living in it.”

Ps Sasser is the Pastor of Family Ministries at Port City Community Church in North Carolina, US. He has been serving children, students and families for over 30 years. He also creates parenting content and hosts several family ministry podcasts.

Also on the panel were Christina Khoo, a counsellor in a local church; Rev Tay Li Ping, Pastor-in-charge at Christalite Methodist Chapel; and Charis Lim, CEO of a management consulting firm and the co-founder of getconnected, a parenting app. Charis is also a lay leader in the Methodist Church in Singapore.

(Left to right) Charis Lim, Rev Tay Li Ping, Christina Khoo and moderator Ps Eric Chan from Rock of Ages Church.

In Part 1 of this report, Salt&Light looks at the baggage our children carry and the new goals towards which we need to steer them to alleviate their stress.

How are our children doing?

Gen Zs are struggling with their mental health

Our children are under tremendous strain. Academic expectations, social and family relationships, personal identity, social media, cyber bullying, school stress and money concerns are chipping away at their mental health.

They are not unique. Christina referred to a book written by social psychologist Jonathan Haidt which stated that young people in the US, Canada, UK, Nordic counties, Australia and New Zealand are facing the same stresses that are resulting in depression and anxiety. Mental health issues are apparently a challenge of Gen Z.

Said Christina: “He said that Gen Zs are different from the generations before them in the sense that they do not have a play-based childhood. Gen Zs have what he called a phone-based childhood.

Christina Khoo sharing about the state of our youths. Photo courtesy of D6 Family Conference.

“They use a lot of devices instead of playing outdoor. They play on their devices – computers or smartphones – online or virtually instead of having human interactions. All these things do impact the development of the young.”

The fact that our young people are coping poorly is evident in the suicide rates. In 2023, those aged 10 to 19 account for 30% of the suicides in Singapore.

Signs appear as early as a year before

According to Christina, 20% of young people aged 10 to 19 that get sent to the A&E because they had either tried to self-harm or kill themselves had already displayed unexplained physical symptoms as far back as a year.

But while a third of young people have severe symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress, and mental disorder which are the leading causes for disability and death among them, only one in 10 parents noticed something was amiss.

Said Christina: “Professionals are asking parents, ‘Take note of them.’

“Some of the top three challenges that these young people face are difficulty in sleeping, family conflict, anxiety related to academics.”

Rev Li Ping has eight children – four biological and four foster. She shared a personal anecdote about one of them that underscored the importance of parental vigilance.

Her child had been having a hard time sleeping. At first, she had assumed that it was because he had been playing on his handphone before bedtime.

Rev Tay Li Ping sharing from her experiene as a mother to eight, as well as a pastor. Photo courtesy of D6 Family Conference.

“But eventually when I talked to him more, he opened up and shared that he had some mental struggles,” she said.

“We have to watch for these symptoms.”

They don’t want professional help

In another research conducted by the Institute of Mental Health (IMH), despite the fact that a third of youths have severe and very severe symptoms of depression and anxiety, they do not believe that specialists can help them.

“They are concerned about their privacy, or that they will be looked at very differently if they seek help,” said Christina.

“Most of them turn to informal help, and that includes you and me.”

Revise our goal for our kids

To help our hurting youths, parents can change the way success is defined.

Ps Sasser challenged: “We all want some level of success. But the new target for me is health. I want my family and I want for me to be healthy – mentally, emotionally, relationally and spiritually. That’s the new target for me.

“If you’re a parent or a grandparent in the room, I’d love for you to take a little extra time to evaluate not just where you are, but where your kids and your grandkids are.

“Are they packing some baggage that are weighing them down?

“How might they be going down some paths in these four areas that are unhealthy?

“What are some things that you can do to help them lighten the load along the way?”

1. Mentally healthy

One of the ways to become mentally healthy is to “walk away from devices”, said Ps Sasser.

“Our mental focus and our mental health goes somewhere else because of the devices that we have. So we need to stop doing that. Studies are showing spending more time on our devices are hurting us so much.”

That means parents also need to step away from their devices. Citing research done some years back in which teens were asked what was the number one thing they would like to change in their relationship with their parents, Ps Sasser said: “You know what teenagers said? They said, ‘I wish my parents would spend less time on their phone and talk to me more.'”

Sharing tips from mental health expert John Delony, Ps Sasser urged parents to put down their handphones the moment their children spoke to them and to “look them in the eyes”.

2. Emotionally healthy

“We want to become emotionally healthy right now. One of the ways that we can do this is to focus on embracing the peace that God offers (Philippians 4:6-7),” said Ps Sasser.

“So spend time in prayer every day putting the things that are going on in your life before God. Put them in His hands, lay them down at the feet of Jesus, release them to Him, trust Him to carry your burdens.

“Trust that God will hold on to the responsibility of what’s going on in your life so you don’t have to hold on to them so tightly.”  

Next, apply Philippians 4:8.

“Do you notice that in v7 it says the peace of God will guard your hearts if you present your request to God? In v8, it says the God of peace will be with you.

“So if we put our things before God, we can experience the peace of God. If we focus on the peace of God, we get the God of peace.”

3. Relationally healthy

To be relationally healthy, love and serve like Jesus did (Philippians 2:5).

“Even when people don’t do their part in the relationship, just love and serve like Jesus did. Be a servant, humble yourself, sacrifice your wants and needs for the wants and needs of others in your home.

“Don’t set up a system where, ‘if you do this, I’ll do that’. Just make sure that what you’re doing is loving and serving like Jesus did with your friends, with your co-workers, with your kids, with your spouse.”

4. Spiritually healthy

To be spiritually healthy, “be still and know that He is God” (Psalm 46:10).

Said Ps Sasser: “I heard this phrase years ago, ‘Where you put your attention will get your affection.’

“If we want to make sure that we’re getting rid of a lot of the baggage that we carry, if we want to make sure we’re helping people around us live a healthier life, we have to fix our eyes on Jesus.

“We need to be surrounded by a great cloud witnesses right in our community (Hebrews 12:1-2). We need to do that in our churches and in our homes, have people around us who will spur us on.

“And we need to learn how to throw off all the stuff that hinders us, the sin that so easily entangles us – it puts us in unhealthy directions in so many different ways.

“We need to keep running with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

For more details about next year’s conference, click here. Early bird registration is open.  

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