How Do You Cheat on Your Wife and Your Mistress at the Same Time?

I dated my boyfriend for nine years. We were only months into the relationship when he first told me about his marriage. It caught me completely off guard. I felt a wave of surprise, then guilt, and finally, a deep pity for him. I was surprised because he didn’t seem like the “married type.” I felt guilty because I couldn’t believe I was dating another woman’s husband. But then I felt sorry for him after hearing his side—how “bad” of a wife she supposedly was.

He told me “We are in the middle of a divorce right now. We are only separated, but there is no going back.”

I was 21 when we started dating. I stayed with him, believing that once everything ended with his wife, we would start our own family, new and fresh. He was good to me. He supported me whenever I needed it; all I had to do was ask. He was sweet, and our love felt pure, at least from every angle I chose to see it.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

One evening, I received a call from his wife. She was screaming. “Why do you want to destroy my family? Take my children’s father away from them? Three children—three! Are you not a woman like me? Woman to woman!”

Three children? “I thought you had only two?” I asked her. That was the part that shook me the most. He told me they had two. As it turned out, she was pregnant with their third child. When I tried to question her, she would not explain. She just kept shouting before ending the call.

That was the first time we had a big fight. I demanded answers, but he stuck to the same old story. “We are separated. We are separated.”

Our relationship grew deeper after that, and I convinced myself that the only thing standing in the way of our happy ending was his wife. I decided that if she would not leave him, then I would not leave either.

Years later, I now have two children with him. Long ago, he promised to come and see my family to perform the customary marriage rites, but he is still hiding behind excuses, even though he has the means to do it. We even pooled money together to buy land, intending to build something small for me and the children. Nothing has been done.

He rented a place for me and stays with me most of the time, but he still goes home to his family on weekends.

A few months ago, after I gave birth to my second child, I went through his phone. That was when I discovered that, aside from me and his wife, there are other women, one married woman and two others.

Now I find myself asking, why are we not enough for him? His wife and I, why are we not enough? I am sure his wife has already accepted that I am her rival and has come to terms with it. Why can he not do the same?

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I am heartbroken. I am angry, angry at life, angry at him, angry at the love I have for him. My hope in him is shattered. The belief that he was different is gone. I know I am a good person, but I feel lost. How did I get here? What do I do next? I feel so heartbroken and confused.

He has promised me so much, yet I still cannot leave him.

—Berthy

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>