I Gave Up Two Babies for Love, Now I Feel Used

We’ve been dating for three years, and I’ve gotten pregnant twice. Twice I wanted to give birth, but he said no, the situation wasn’t right. During the first pregnancy, he told me, “If you allow it to go, I will put my life in order and marry you within one year.”

I loved him and wanted to do his wish, so I let it go. The marriage didn’t happen. Each time I brought it up, he told me stories about why it wasn’t possible at the moment.

Then we got pregnant again. Because of the lessons I’d learned from the previous one, I didn’t want to listen to anything. I told him, “Come rain or shine, we should have this one. I can’t do it twice. It’s risky.”

He lay at my feet like an obedient dog and told me all the good things I needed to hear. I still shook my head and said, “We’ll have this one no matter what. You can even leave me, I don’t mind.”

But in the end, he was able to convince me to let it go and promised to give me GHC1,000 monthly allowance until we got married. I grudgingly followed him to the hospital for it to be done. That very month, he sent me GHC1,000 via mobile money, and since then, he hasn’t sent anything again.

We fight about this money like our lives depend on it, but all he does is make promises. I’m sick and tired of his lies and want to leave him, but I need the money he promised. I’m also scared that what we’ve done could cause issues in the future if I’m not able to give birth again. I don’t want to marry another man and be facing the shadows of the past with him. That’s why I continue to stay with this guy.

But how can I make him deliver on his promise of GHC1,000 monthly allowance? Apart from that, all is well between us, but I feel cheated and lied to. Is there anything I can do to get this guy to pay me the said amount monthly?

—Eme 

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