His Mother Buys Everything For Him, Even His Boxer Shorts

He lives with his mom. He told me right from the start of the relationship that his mom was everything to him and couldn’t afford to live apart from her. I didn’t have a problem with that because I’ve been told a man who loves his mom will always respect his wife because he knows what it takes to love a woman.

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We could sit for hours and every turn of our conversation, he would bring his mom in. I couldn’t wait to meet this woman who had been able to raise a man like that.

We were in love in Feb. I accepted his proposal in March but he wouldn’t take me home, because according to him, he had to know me very well so he could explain me to his mom. If he knew me and was able to convince his mom, it would be easier for his mom to accept me. I’m not a hard girl. I don’t pretend so for the next couple of months, I gave him the best of me. Who I truly am was always on display.

We went out one weekend and he asked if we could go to his place and I said, “Why not? I’ve been ready since the beginning of this relationship.”

It was around 9pm. We got to his gate and I realized he was trying to sneak me into the house without the knowledge of his mom. He asked me to walk slowly without my feet making a sound. He wanted me to hold my breath so I wouldn’t breathe loudly. I stood there at the entrance and asked, “What are we doing? Why are you behaving like we are a band of thieves coming to steal at night?”

He answered, “I don’t want my mom to see us this way. We need to hide from her for just tonight.”

In his plan, he was sneaking me in for the night so I could wake up at dawn and leave just as I walked in. I shook my head and stepped out of the gate. I told him I wasn’t going to do that. “I’m not a girl to play around. If your mom sees me this way, what respect would she accord me? If you want to sleep with me, no problem but do the right things first.”

He tried to convince me. We argued it out. For the next twenty minutes or so, it was his conviction against my resistance. I didn’t go in. I called a Bolt and left the scene. He wasn’t pleased but as far as I knew, I was doing what my heart said was right.

A week later, on a Saturday afternoon, I followed him to his house and finally met the woman he had spoken highly of. He introduced me as his friend. His mother nodded with a ray of happiness in her eyes. She welcomed me and we sat around for a while answering her questions. She said I was always welcome and I thanked her for the reception.

After the introduction, I could go to the house as often as he wanted me to and each moment I was there, I opened my eyes to watch what was happening around.

His mother did his laundry for him. She would fold them nicely and place them in his wardrobe. She would cook and serve him the way a woman would serve a husband. Virtually, his mom cleaned after him. He told me, “That’s what you get when you’re the only male child in the family.”

A lot was going through my mind about him but I was open to learn. I held on to sex. He wanted it often but I tried as much as possible to throw in excuses to throw him off balance. One afternoon, I was in the room with him when his mother came from the market and called his name. The woman didn’t know I was there. She said, “I got you some clothes. Come and try them on and let’s see.”

She bought shirts, khakis and even boxer shorts. Because I was there, he didn’t try them. I went out to greet his mom and came inside with him.

“Even boxers?” I asked. He answered, “My mom buys everything for me ooo. Why is she my mom?”

I needed to observe his mom to know the kind of woman he was looking for. The relationship was only a few months old but I asked marriage questions—questions a potential wife will want to know from a potential husband. His answers were firm and definite. He said he loved me and could see his mother in me. I said I couldn’t compete with his mother unless I was a stay-at-home wife.

He said, “We’ll figure it out along the way.”

I had already figured things out for myself. I only needed to act so when the delay of sex became a problem between us, I told him, “If you can’t wait until I’m comfortable to do it with you then we better stop here.”

This got him infuriated and he started throwing tantrums; “You’re not even a virgin! Are your exes better than me?”

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Meanwhile, I hadn’t spoken to him about an ex or exes I gave it to. Anger for anger. Silence for silence. We went a week without talking but I knew the end had come so when he came back trying to act sorry to warm me back into the relationship, I said, “Sorry. That was the height of any disrespect I can take from a man.”

He thought we fought about sex and broke up. It wasn’t about that. It was about me not being able to compete with his mother.