Cold Approaching Women: How Hard Is It REALLY?

How hard is it to cold approach girls and get success with them – REALLY? Is it impossible… very difficult… or actually easier than many believe?

Commenting on my article “When Girls You Approach Get Distracted”, a reader shares his experiences cold approaching women, stating his observations and saying he finds it a difficult way to meet girls:

Hi Chase,

thank you for clarification on this situation, and on your response, I really appreciate!

Looking down at those interactions, they fuzzled out, and nothing really happened, so I dont know, maybe I mishandled them.

My cold approaches so far have been not very successful (but I,ve been doing them extremely irregularly, maybe 1-2/month). Its because I always try to come in indirect, possibly with a ping, to make everything socially smooth, and also for me to not be so extremely nervous. However, here I struggle with another problem. Basically by coming in socially smooth, I try to avoid rejections at first, my „friendly and harmless“ vibe basically makes it impossible to reject me, but as soon as I start to switch to flirty, I notice immediate rejection (at least friendly rejection). However, I started to feel that all those things are actually secondary. The girl either likes me, or she doesnt like me, and even if she likes me, she sometimes doesnt even know why. I also noticed with all my successful flirts, that it honestly doesnt even matter whether I am shy, sexy, cool, or whatever, but that she likes me nonetheless. Sensing that, I am also much cooler and more relaxed, and behave much more like a natural with her. I simply came to the believe, that there is a certain proportion of girls simply attracted to you, and some are not. I really doubt that there is much „turn-around“ that one can do, without having MUCH more time with a person, that cold approach usually allows (seconds to maximum 1 hour).

So, to sum up, for girls really hooking and GETTING interested in you, cold approach seems to be extremely hard. Of course, if you approach and you are extremely ahead in social status, it might work, but usually, thats not the case if you go for beautiful girls. The very limited time you have in cold approach, the already „weird“ situation that she gets approached randomly (few people do it), and the fact that she has no intersections with your life whatsoever, makes cold approach rather impossible to strike off, if the girl is not interested in you anyways (maybe genetically, or you remind her of her boyfriend/father).

What are your thoughts Chase?

Our reader has some interesting experiences and observations here – on women’s initial reactions to you and on the ability (or inability) to wiggle out of a first impression.

Is he right about the WEIGHT of those first impressions – and is he right that cold approach is “rather impossible to strike off” if the girl isn’t already interested in you, due to genetic compatibility (like scent-based immune genes) / facial similarity / some other intangible characteristic?