After a heart attack and a stroke, he fell into depression. How did God bring him healing?

October 10 is World Mental Health Day. Salt&Light highlights the importance of recognising and supporting mental health.

When Rev Louis Chai suffered a heart attack in 2013, followed by a stroke two weeks later, his care team reasoned that getting him back on his feet would be a big challenge. After all, the effects of the stroke were devastating.

In the immediate hours after Rev Chai – then the Pastor-in-Charge of Paya Lebar Chinese Methodist Church – slumped over in the bathroom at home, he could neither move nor speak.

“I could only see through one eye,” he recounted.

A few hours after he was administered blood thinners, he could move his head slightly to respond to questions, but words still failed him.

Three days later, he could move his limbs and the next day, he could walk on his own.

But he still could not speak.

His wife Alison told Salt&Light: “When he went to have a bath, he couldn’t read the word ‘shampoo’ and didn’t know what it was.

“The next day when a nurse asked him who I was, he said, ‘My friend.’ He didn’t know the word ‘wife’ anymore. A lot of his vocabulary was gone.

“When he wanted a pair of scissors, he couldn’t describe it. When he saw grapes, he didn’t know the name of the fruit.”

His medical team told the family that it would take 10 years for Rev Chai to recover because he had suffered a medium to large stroke.

But within two years, he could write and speak again. His neurologist called it a miracle.

“It’s great how the brain can be rewired. We thank God for the recovery,” said Alison.

What was less commonly known was the fact that strokes can cause depression. About one in three stroke survivors suffer from depression at some point during their recovery.

Rev Chai and Alison talk to Salt&Light about his mental health journey in the years following his heart attack and stroke.

The first bout of depression

Alison: Over these past 13 years, Louis has faced a few episodes of depression. The clinical reality of a stroke means the brain’s chemistry is altered. Even though Christian doctors strongly advised him to take anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medications immediately after his stroke, he resisted taking them for the first 10 years.

We thank God for helping him navigate those heavy seasons through daily sunshine, dedicated exercise and the cognitive stimulation of experiencing new places. He slowly grew stronger, and we used every opportunity to share his story of how God saved his life and continued to heal his mind.

Battling depression again

Alison: However, in 2024, Louis slipped into another severe depressive episode.

My mother had passed away after being in and out of the hospital for years, which had left me physically exhausted and emotionally grieving. Right around this time, Louis’s mother moved into our home. It was something she had always longed to do and, of course, we welcomed her. But practically, it became a massive added stress when I was already running on empty.

Soon, he fell into a deep clinical depression as well. He was trapped in a perpetually low mood with zero energy and no interest in doing anything.

A close brother in Christ shared with us that he, too, had suffered terrible panic attacks recently, feeling breathless and as if he was dying, but had found immense relief through a Christian psychiatrist and proper medication. He gently urged Louis to seek medical help.

We took his advice. Louis saw the doctor and started on a course of medication. After six months, he improved significantly and the doctor safely tapered him off the medicine. He remained completely well and medication-free for an entire year.

Another setback

Alison: But late last year, another wave hit him. Louis ran a high fever for four days and his physical recovery was very slow.

Two weeks later, he attended the annual meeting of the Chinese Annual Conference (CAC) of the Methodist Church in Singapore (MCS). Initially, he was delighted to hear the wonderful reports on discipleship and missions.

But on the final day, his mood dropped sharply. He looked at all the amazing things happening in the Church and thought: “I have no part in any of this anymore. My brain and language are too damaged. I can’t do what I used to do.”

He felt so discouraged and disqualified that he couldn’t even bring himself to join the Pastors’ procession.

As his emotional state plunged, his body reacted. His heart rate dropped dangerously to 43 to 45 beats per minute, and his blood pressure sank to 95/50. He was immediately hospitalised. Thankfully, the cardiologist confirmed his heart was fine and adjusted his medications.

Help from doctors

Alison: A few weeks later, we sought a second opinion from a private Christian psychiatrist, Dr YC Lim. Dr Lim explained something profoundly liberating; he told us that Louis’ recurring depression and anxiety were directly linked to the physical trauma of his stroke, a medical condition known as “organic depression”.

He reassured us that with medical management, plenty of exercise and sunshine, he would recover in no time. However, he should be more relaxed and let go of expectations.

Once again, we committed the treatments, the medications and our lives into the hands of the Lord. We recognise that while medicine is a form of grace, God is our ultimate Healer.

Thank God, within a few weeks, Louis began to lift out of the fog once again.

Lessons from the Lord

1. Forget the past

Rev Chai: Through all of these mountain tops and deep valleys, what has the Lord taught us?

First, He has taught us the necessity of forgetting the past (Philippians 3:13-14). Forgetting what lies behind is very difficult. It doesn’t just mean confessing our past sins and leaving them at the cross. It also means deliberately letting go of our past successes, our old talents, our former positions and everything we used to take pride in.

Paul is our ultimate example of this. He had to completely forget his identity as a highly successful Jewish scholar who was widely respected among the Pharisees and his community. He chose not to waste his life lamenting what he had lost or longing for the “good old days”. Instead, he realised those things were nothing compared to the privilege of knowing and serving Jesus Christ.

Like Paul, Alison and I have had to lay down both our past achievements and our past pains, and simply press towards the goal God has set before us today. He is the One who called us and He is the One we serve, whether our capacity to serve looks big or small in the eyes of the world.

2. Doing vs being

Rev Chai: In the past, my entire life was focused on doing. I bought into the lie that I had to be outwardly successful in my studies, my career and my service in the church.

But through this long wilderness, I have realised that God cares infinitely more about our being than our doing.

Our true worth is rooted entirely in who we are in Him – we are the beloved children of God, secure in our identity in Christ. Our value does not come from how much work we can produce for Him.

Paul talks about this in Philippians 4:11–13. I am honestly not fully there yet, but I am walking steadfastly in that direction. I am learning to look for the hand of God in my life every single day.

Whether I am feeling vibrant, or whether I am battling the dark physical clouds of anxiety and depression, I can choose contentment because I know my Saviour loves me, and He is in total control.

We can be content in any and every situation, and we can endure all things through Him who pours His strength into us.

If you need help for your mental health:

• National mindline 1771 — 24/7:
  Call 1771 for mental-health support and counselling.
  WhatsApp 6669 1771 or use online chat.

• Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) — 24/7
  Call 1767 if you’re feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or having thoughts of suicide.
  WhatsApp CareText 9151 1767.

• IMH Mental Health Helpline — 24/7
  Call 6389 2222 for mental-health advice and support.

• Care Corner Mandarin Helpline
  Call 1800 353 5800, for mental-health and emotional support in Mandarin
  10am-10pm daily except public holidays.

• ComCare
  Call 1800 111 2222
  7am–12 mn daily

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