updates: boss renegotiated my start date behind my back, meetings in the metaverse, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Here are three updates from past letter-writers.

1. My boss renegotiated my new job’s start date behind my back

I took your advice with the exit interview and shared just enough for them to understand exactly why I was leaving without having to say it outright, without getting into detail or emotionality about it. I’ve since run into a number of former colleagues from that company at conferences, many of whom expressed their support for me leaving – it seems like word has gotten around about B’s behavior and folks were upset about the circumstances of my departure, though as far as I know, B is still at the company so it sounds like not much has really changed there.

One commenter asked how it went when I informed B that I wasn’t changing my end date. The answer is, remarkably smoothly! B did express that they were upset I didn’t “negotiate” with them more before putting it in writing, though by that point HR was involved in the situation and was explicitly backing me up, so I suspect they knew that throwing a bigger fit about it would cause them more problems than it would me.

Many commenters expressed concern that my new boss C had given into B’s demands and what that would mean for our working relationship moving forward. That’s a valid worry and I appreciate everyone who brought it up, though in this case (and as some commenters noted), there were a lot of factors at play that were pressuring her into agreement, not least the close relationship between the two companies. She was pretty transparent about the complicated politics behind the decision, and I opted not to push the issue of the start date so as not to put her in a more difficult situation than she had already been cornered into by B. I’m very fortunate to be in a situation where being without work for a month was more of a vacation than a hardship, but I recognize that I’m very lucky for that to be the case!

I’m happy to report that over six months in, things are going swimmingly. The job is a big step up professionally, I’m enjoying it, and my new boss is great to work for. We’ve been able to acknowledge the bumpy transition period at the start, and she recently expressed to me that she thinks I handled the situation very professionally, which was a relief to hear. Everything has worked out well in my favor, and I’m so glad to have made the choice to leave the previous company. Thanks to all the AAM readers for your validation and support!

2. Meetings in the metaverse (#39 at the link)

A while back you answered a quick question about meetings in the metaverse.

You will perhaps be unsurprised to learn that the company that purchased expensive Oculus headsets so that everyone could join one 30-minute weekly team meeting in the Metaverse was rapidly running out of money. They laid off the head of HR and asked me to step in and manage some of her responsibilities (I was the CEO’s EA and had absolutely no HR experience or training). That was the third round of layoffs since I’d started – I was finally laid off during the fourth round.

It wasn’t a surprise, given that my first team meeting included a layoff announcement, so I’d been applying for other jobs from the get-go.

A friend of mine was laid off the same week, so we both decided to make an irresponsible choice and traveled to Ireland. It was fantastic! When I got back, I was hired into a new job pretty quickly and have been there for over a year. It’s a decent job with a boss that I like, and since we’re a nonprofit we’re far less prone to making expensive purchases for shits and giggles.

What happened to the headset? It made me nauseous and I couldn’t wear it for more than 5 minutes. You can join the metaverse using a web browser, so I just did that. When I was laid off, I was told I could keep the headset and my company-issued laptop (because the CEO didn’t feel like dealing with the logistics of taking them back). I gave the headset to a friend, and he seems to be enjoying it.

3. My company wants me to start a new job without a raise for a “test period” (#3 at the link)

Wanted to share a happy update. I wrote to my head of people outlining my hesitations in frank but unemotional terms, noting my investment in the company, track record of exceeding expectations, and that, most importantly, a new hire would not be treated the same way.

It worked! Whether I simply called their bluff or changed their hearts with dazzling rhetoric, they agreed that I would be paid my new salary on my official start date. I’m working remotely for now but am settling into my new role, loving the work and the new salary, and preparing to move from my home in the upper Midwest to our office in sunny California next month. Thanks so much for your input; you confirmed my suspicions and gave me the courage I needed to stand up for myself.