Until I Went to the Hospital, I Never Thought I Played a Part in the Infertility in My Marriage

Since we’re talking about infertility in marriage, and how it’s not always the woman’s issue, I might as well tell my side of the story.

Even before we got married in 2023, we were already trying to get pregnant. Yes, we were trying often. But most times, her period would come anyway. It was troubling. You hear of people who get pregnant without even trying, but that was never us. We knew something wasn’t right.

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When my wife went for a checkup, she was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst. The doctors explained it was a fluid-filled sac, usually harmless, but sometimes it can make things harder. They put her on medication and encouraged us to keep trying. So we did.

We got married, and even though we were living apart for a while, we hoped that the times we were together would be enough. But it wasn’t. I would call her and sense that change in her mood, you know, when her period came. And quietly, it broke me.

In 2024, my wife suggested I see a urologist. Maybe the problem was from me? The first time, only she had gone to the doctor, and that felt normal. We usually don’t see men as the reason for infertility in marriage. It’s always the woman, right?

Well, I went. And it turned out I had been going up and down for no reason. My sperm count was low because of something called a varicocele. Let me break it down. A varicocele is like a varicose vein, but in the scrotum. It’s common and usually harmless, but it’s also a leading cause of male infertility. Yes, it can cause low sperm count, poor movement, and even affect the shape of the sperm.

The first thing that goes through your head when the doctor tells you your sperm count is low is, “Am I even a man?” The feeling is wild. Devastating, in fact.

The doctor looked me in the face and said, “Your issue cannot be corrected with prayers or medication. It only requires surgery. And even the surgery isn’t certain. It could fail, or it could work. It depends.”

We raised the money, and I went in for the surgery. My wife moved in with me to care for me afterward. During all of this, none of our family knew what we were facing. Maybe they had questions—why weren’t we giving birth?—but they kept it to themselves.

On the day of the surgery, my blood pressure was high. My wife was crying, probably from fear—what if it didn’t work? And I was scared, too. I mean, this is one of the things that makes you feel like a man.

While I was recovering from the surgery, and from the high blood pressure caused by all that fear, my wife took absolute good care of me. Marry a nurse, I tell you. She handled my food, my medicine, the little exercises. Then she would lay out a mat and exercise, too, while I watched and enjoyed the scene.

After three months, we tried again. Nothing. We followed the calendar, lived healthy, did everything by the book, but we didn’t understand what was happening. So I went back to the hospital, did another semen analysis. This time, they said I was good. My results were above the normal range.

On the fourth month, we tried again, and she conceived. Today, we are blessed with our beautiful princess.

Infertility in marriage is not always the woman’s issue. Sometimes the problem is from us, the men. Couples should both get checked and see professionals. Some conditions go beyond prayers. Medical intervention is necessary, and God works through doctors, too.

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Go to the hospital with your wife. Seek professional help, and do what needs to be done.

My wife always calls me “Husband of my Youth.” My beautiful wife, thank you so much. You are more than I asked for. You make me a good husband, and an amazing father, too.

—Senior

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