They Forced Me to Become a Deaconess Now I’m Losing My Faith

Recently, I was ordained as a deaconess in a well-known church here in Ghana. When the leaders first informed me of their decision, I declined the offer. I didn’t feel ready, and I didn’t believe it was the right time. Truthfully, I had no interest in taking on such a role. But after speaking with a few trusted friends and family members, I agreed to go through the interview process.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

In my heart, I believed I wouldn’t pass the interview, since I wasn’t passionate about it. But to my surprise, I was selected among the few to be ordained. Even though I didn’t desire the position, I accepted it. I told myself that if it was the Lord’s work, I would do it with diligence, trusting that it was God’s will for me.

People of God, ever since the ordination service, something in me has shifted. I’ve lost interest in the things of God, and when Sunday approaches, I feel reluctant to go to church. It has started to feel like a duty rather than a joy. This wasn’t how I felt before I took on this role. I used to be happy to enter the house of God, and I always looked forward to it. I said yes to any work in the church, and I did it with excitement.

I’ve spoken to my pastor and shared my struggle with him. He gave me some words of encouragement, and I’ve also prayed on my own, asking for strength and clarity. I keep reminding myself that it is not by might or by power, but by the Spirit of the Lord. Still, nothing has changed.

She Would Introduce Me To Rich Men Who’ll Give Me Money

Right now, I’ve considered writing a resignation letter, but I’m confused and unsure if that’s the right decision. I don’t want to act out of emotion, but I also don’t want to keep serving from a place of emptiness. There is no peace or fulfillment in it, and it feels like I am pretending in the house of God. I know God sees my heart, and I don’t want to offer Him something that isn’t real.

I’m hoping someone who has walked this path before can offer guidance. I need clarity, and I need peace.

—Phillipa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>