Str8Curious: What Is Cruising & How Does It Work?

Str8Curious is a monthly AskMen column where out and proud lifestyle expert Joey Skladany answers burning questions from heterosexual men about sex, dating, and the LGBTQ+ community. No topic is off limits as he candidly lends advice, debunks stereotypes, and gives it to you straight — err — gay. Should you be interested in submitting a question for editorial consideration (and we will respect anonymity), feel free to ping Joey directly on Instagram or email him at joeyskladanywrites@gmail.com). The Question “I am somewhat new to messing around with guys and the term ‘cruising’ keeps popping up on the sex apps. While I’ve come to learn that this essentially means public sex, I am wondering if there is a certain protocol that one should follow if they’re hoping to partake. Isn’t this risky? Does it happen organically? Tell me everything I need to know, please.” - William, Charleston, SC The Answer You’re most certainly correct, William. In the gay community, “cruising” isn’t sipping mai tais on a giant ship with your grandparents. It’s a slang term for public sex — with someone you’ve just met. And while I certainly wouldn’t recommend partaking in illegal activities, the rush and thrill of a casual, anonymous hookup in a park, hotel bathroom, or any designated “cruising ground” can be quite alluring (at least for some men). While these escapades typically happen spontaneously (much like the double-tapping under a stall by self-hating, anti-LGBTQ+ politicians), there are certified cruising spots that are famous for dudes doing the dirty. The catch is that once these public sex spots become too popular, word spreads almost instantaneously and law enforcement may closely monitor the location for lewd activity. If caught, you can face jail time and even felony charges (it ranges state by state). That, of course, doesn’t deter adrenaline junkies from getting their rocks off. For those who exercise extreme caution and patience, a quick handjob, blowjob, or even romp can happen after a simple wink of the eye or tug of the crotch. In fact, some cruising areas even boast glory holes men will literally stick their dicks into, with hopes that it will find an open mouth or ass on the other side. RELATED: Here’s What It’s Like to Have a Wild Glory Hole Experience Apps like Sniffies have gained popularity for guys who enjoy engaging in this type of activity. It highlights active spots and allows gays to even plan ahead and announce when they’ll arrive. But again, the reward may not outweigh the risk of getting arrested. I’m by no means a prude, but I’d hate to see anyone locked up, embarrassed, or even fired from a job, all because they wanted to do what can be done after 15 minutes of watching a favorite performer on OnlyFans. You’ll need to ask yourself if it’s worth satisfying the fetish and consider what’s at stake. Should you still decide to move forward, ensure that you are 100 percent getting the right signals. It can be easy to get caught up in the nerves and excitement of the moment and interpret a simple smile from a stranger as an invitation to S their D. But if you make the mistake of making a move to an unwilling participant, you’ll not only face charges of public indecency, but also sexual assault. There must be mutual consent from both parties with absolutely zero gray area. Just because an assumedly gay man shows up to a notorious cruising spot (typically a bathroom), it doesn't mean that he’s into you. He may be there to literally just take a piss. I don’t mean to be a boner kill. Lord knows there are places like Fire Island where public sex is as common as the seashells that wash ashore on its beach. But please, for the love of Christ, Beyoncé, or whatever deity you worship, don’t be stupid. RELATED: How Many People Have Had Sex in a Public Place? Not only will you do a disservice to yourself, but also the entire gay community, which strives each and every day to not be labeled as sex-starved deviants who require every orifice to be stuffed with cock at all times. Whenever cruising is exposed and covered by the media (which, ironically, seems to typically involve the aforementioned hypocritical anti-LGBTQ lawmakers), it acts as fodder for homophobes to paint broad strokes and label us all as hardcore sinners. Play smart. And don’t just use the head below your belt when it comes to making spur-of-the-moment decisions. You Might Also Dig: How to Make Parks Safe for Public SexBest Positions for Public Sex, Illustrated What It’s Really Like to Have Sex in Public