Singapore’s historic low birthrate, and what it means for the Church

The big news today: Singapore’s Total Fertility Rate (TFR) has hit an all-time low of 0.87. “The overall trend is of grave concern,” said Deputy Prime Minister Gan Kim Yong. “Marriage rates have come down, and those who are married have fewer children or no children.”

The Government says that Singapore needs to reset our views on marriage and parenthood. That should start with the Church.

So let’s talk about the church and children.

This topic is so sensitive I need to put some disclaimers upfront.

First, this discourse is only meant to address Christians. Believers are meant to be on the same page, aligned to the Word of God, which cannot be expected of non-believers.

Second, it is clear from Scripture that singlehood is a perfectly godly choice in life (1 Corinthians 7:8). There should be no expectation of people who are called to celibate singlehood to get married just to have children and boost the TFR. Stay contentedly single – stay devoted to God (1 Corinthians 7:34) – if that’s what you’re called to.

Third, we don’t fully know why some who desire to have children are unable to. If this is you – if you have struggled to conceive or suffered a miscarriage – our hearts go out to you, and our prayers continue to be with you. (Editor’s note: An article on miscarriages will follow in the coming days.)

All that said, on to the main point, which is this:

If you are a Christian who is married or desires to get married, you should desire to have children. 

We apologise if you feel attacked or judged by this statement. We apologise if it appears to dismiss your desires. But it is neither based on my personal opinion nor on some older generation’s expectation.

Rather, we believe it is a biblical mandate.

The call for Christian couples to desire children is not merely to improve our TFR (though it might). It isn’t primarily about national sustainability (though that matters). It shouldn’t be to safeguard our nation’s future (though it could).

It is, above all, a discipleship issue.

The basis of Christian discipleship can be simply summarised: Will we do as God commands? Will we live as He commends us? Will we choose surrender so that His will be done?

When we start picking and choosing how we live based on our personal preferences or the prevailing cultural norms, we are being discipled by self and society, rather than by Scripture and Spirit.

What the Bible says is clear.

“Did He not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring.” (Malachi‬ ‭2‬:‭15‬)

What is God seeking in bringing husband and wife together in marital union? Why does God put people together?

Godly offspring! Children! Be fruitful and multiply!

That is the command! Discipleship demands we set aside our personal preferences, fly in the face of societal norms, and do as God desires. (Again, God may not give any to some, but that should be for Him to decide, not us.)

Yet I suspect that in Singapore, Christians would be one of the segments with the lowest TFR. The desire to have children tends to be inversely proportional to income levels (which is ironic, given that the rich are the ones who can better afford them).

However, we find it increasingly common to hear of Christian couples who want to get married but never have children. The DINK life – double income, no kids.

We know the justification given: Raising kids is expensive. Work is exhausting. Furkids are just as fun and fulfilling.

But none of these asks what God wants.

A part of your heart you never knew existed

I never wanted children. My personal reason, and one I suspect is more prevalent than we would like to admit: Why would I want to bring kids into such a cruel world?

But my wife wanted one, and I rationalised that when one spouse wants kids but the other doesn’t, one side will be miserable for the rest of their life. So I gave in. Let her get it out of her system, I figured.

Until I held my firstborn for the first time in the labour ward. Bloody. Crying. Shivering.

Precious.

I suddenly discovered that having a baby unlocks in you a part of your heart nothing else could unlock. A seemingly limitless reserve of love.

And in that moment this new father got my first glimpse into the Father’s heart.

The Father loves His creation. Jesus loves the little children.

“For I tell you that the angels (of these little ones) in heaven always see the face of Father in heaven.” (Matthew 18:10)

And so should we – whatever the world tells us, and whatever our personal preferences might be.

So, TFR at a historic low? Let the Church take the lead in reversing this.

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