Should I Set Up A Business For My Man?

I’ve always been a giver. I am happiest when the people I care about are comfortable. I think it’s my best trait and sometimes my worst. That’s because even when people prove to me that they don’t deserve my help, I am uncomfortable if I can help them but I don’t. Take my baby daddy for instance, he has shown me many times that he may not be worth it but I can’t quiet the thoughts that say he is still the father of my children. So my children and I will benefit from whatever I do for him.

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Currently, he is not financially stable. I have been thinking about setting up a business for him. My plan is to fund it and have him pay back the money as a loan, with little to no interest.

The only reason I haven’t taken the step yet is because of some comments he made when Daddy Lumba’s issue became a topic of discussion. One of the things he kept repeating was, “A man with money can do whatever he wants in marriage because he paid the bride price.” He also believes there’s nothing wrong with a man having side chicks or children outside marriage, so long as he takes care of them. We are not married yet but these statements worry me deeply.

Although we have two children together, we haven’t discussed marriage yet. But his mother keeps saying it’s best for us to stay together so our children can grow up with both parents. That’s part of the reason I want to help him get on his feet financially. That way he can provide for me and the children.

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Besides, it breaks my heart whenever he complains that he doesn’t have money. I know people will say I can take care of myself so that’s enough, but there’s a certain peace that comes from knowing your man is also capable of providing for himself, his woman, and the children.

So, I really want to know: has anyone here been in this kind of situation before? Did you go ahead to help the man, or did you move on and focus on your own life?

—Monica

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