“She makes everything sparkle a bit more”: After multiple losses, God surprised them with the “gift of life”

Just seven years ago, Cheryl Lin, 40, never quite saw herself as a mother.

“I used to think the world was dark and I never wanted to raise children in such a difficult place,” she said.

But after getting married, Cheryl realised that her husband, Wong Wenshen, 37, was fantastic with kids.

“He would bring the dog out for walks, and one day he came back with a group of kids,” recounted Cheryl with a laugh. The children would often knock on their door to ask to play with him or their dog.

Slowly, Cheryl became open to the idea of becoming a parent.

However, the couple’s journey to having their own children would be far from smooth. At times, Cheryl also became very angry at God, questioning why they had to struggle so much.

After two miscarriages and an unsuccessful Intrauterine Insemination procedure, Cheryl was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).

In 2021, she was then referred to a fertility specialist who discovered that her uterine lining was also not thickening adequately.

In-vitro fertilisation (IVF) was recommended, but the couple never imagined how arduous the journey would be. After obtaining 13 embryos and going through six treatment cycles, there was still no baby.

“Over the years, I became more and more discouraged. I may not have wanted kids before, but after going through being pregnant for a while, I imagined that it would be nice to have a child,” said Cheryl, a General Practitioner.

Despite her initial resistance, Cheryl even tried Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), which thickened her uterine lining in one cycle but did not result in a successful pregnancy.

Speaking to Salt&Light, their fertility specialist Dr LC Cheng explained: “The poor womb lining problem was a constant challenge that led to three cycles being cancelled and one cycle where she was unsuccessful.

“(Cheryl) fell pregnant twice in the two other cycles where the womb lining was satisfactory. Unfortunately, both times she miscarried.”

The couple also consulted a specialist at another hospital, but it was more bad news. In his entire career, he had seen only around a dozen cases with the same unexplained cause – none had resulted in pregnancy.

“That was pretty devastating. For me, medically I knew that’s it already lah. If the doctor tells you something like that, nothing can help you anymore,” said Cheryl.

Her husband felt helpless too. “All I could do was always try to be there as a supportive partner,” said Wenshen, a Managing Director in a software company.

“We were emotionally and financially drained. We visited all the doctors, tried TCM and were even told to call it quits.”

Running out of options, the couple considered adoption and surrogacy, but neither seemed viable.

But just when they had reached the end of what medicine could offer, 2023 turned out to be a life-changing year.

Everything began to change

Wenshen, who had already been baptised as a Christian but did not consider himself a believer, was invited to do a Bible study in March. His close friend Joshua took him through the book of John, and Wenshen was amazed by what he read.

“The way Jesus spoke with compassion and authority – no human could ever come up with that, let alone perform such miracles.

“That really changed my perspective and my belief that Jesus was real and truly the Son of God.”

Cheryl noticed the change too. “He was deeply moved by its message. I could see his scepticism fade!”

Wenshen’s faith was also strengthened after Joshua invited him to an Alpha course three months later.

“I believe this was the biggest turning point,” said Wenshen. “It answered and explained many of the basic but nagging questions I had, such as where is the evidence and what if this was just made up?”

He was also struck by the kindness of his Alpha hosts, who opened their home weekly, prepared home-cooked meals and conducted the sessions in a loving, non-preachy way.

Then came Alpha Day Away, a day retreat where guests learnt more about the Holy Spirit. It was on this day – July 29, 2023 – that Wenshen felt the undeniable presence of God.

During a time of prayer, Joshua and another leader, Khai Lee, prayed for him – one standing in front and one behind.

“I felt a hand placed on my back. As the prayer went on, I felt his palm get hotter and hotter,” described Wenshen.

After the prayer ended, Wenshen opened his eyes to thank the two men. Turning to Joshua to ask why his hand was so hot, he was astonished by his friend’s reply.

“‘I wasn’t touching you,’ said Joshua. That was when it dawned on Wenshen that he had felt the Holy Spirit.

Cheryl had her own divine encounter on that day too.

“As she was praying, she was given a phrase, ‘gift of life’.”

At that same event, Khai Lee’s wife had also prayed for her.

“Kwai Yuen told me she had a message from God. As she was praying, she was given a phrase – ‘gift of life’ – and she felt compelled to tell me,” said Cheryl.

Admitting she had not paid much attention to the words, Cheryl thought it was just another well-meaning person trying to encourage her.

“At that time, I was very tired. I fully believed that there was no way I was going to get pregnant even though people were still encouraging me.”

Sharing that she was happy that her husband had finally found joy in the Lord, Cheryl revealed that she, on the other hand, was struggling with anger against God.

After almost three years and considerable resources invested in what felt like a “futile cause”, the ordeal was taking a huge emotional toll.

“I started to get very anxious and depressed every time my period came. Every month I had to go through this, ‘Oh, I’m hopeful, I’m hopeful, I’m hopeful. Then like super, super, super depressed.”

When they finally stopped trying

By November, Cheryl stopped all IVF medication. The couple were also beginning to accept that perhaps God had other plans for their lives.

“God had sent us many friends who were single or married with no children, and we saw that they led godly, beautiful and rich lives,” she observed.

Deciding to take up a new hobby, Wenshen and Cheryl intended to spend the next year travelling and skiing in different countries.

Then came Christmas Eve. After eating at a prata place, the couple popped into a church next door, where people could write cards to place on a Christmas tree.

While putting hers up, Cheryl noticed that many others had penned simple messages such as Merry Christmas, but she had written: And unto us a child is born.

However, she did not think much of it until two days later, when unexpected news surprised her.

Thinking that she had indulged in too much festive eating, Cheryl had started to feel some uncomfortable symptoms such as abdominal bloating and breast tenderness.

But since her period was two days late, she decided to take a pregnancy test before embarking on a high-intensity exercise regimen. The result was positive.

“We were in disbelief and so overjoyed,” said Cheryl.

“I’m not going to say it’s a virgin pregnancy, but when we look back and calculate when I got pregnant, it was not the right timing (for the fertile period). So up to this day, it’s still a mystery.”

A pregnancy she never dared to believe in

However, the joy was short-lived.

Just two days later, Cheryl started having cramping and bleeding again. Thinking it was another miscarriage, she continued working that day despite being advised to rest.

But this time was different: Despite regular bleeding and weekly doctor’s visits, her baby kept growing. Still, Cheryl remained convinced she would eventually miscarry.

“Even on hearing baby’s heartbeat, I feared every week hearing the words: ‘Sorry, but the heartbeat is no longer visible,'” she said.

Though the bleeding eventually stopped, Cheryl was transferred to a doctor specialising in high-risk pregnancies because of her risk of pre-eclampsia.

“It felt like it was one problem after another. Our new obstetrician was very reassuring, which helped calm my fears, but I had heard many stories of late pregnancy loss and continued to fear,” she told Salt&Light.

Then at 20 weeks’ pregnant, Cheryl caught COVID and started to have contractions. It was a harrowing time for the couple.

Rushing his wife to hospital and watching their baby girl’s heart rate fluctuate, Wenshen said: “I remember talking to Raelyn, begging her to stay in there a little longer.”

Cheryl was thankfully discharged after a week. However, the troubles did not end there.

She was later diagnosed with gestational diabetes, which required a drastic diet change to keep her sugar levels low.

A rollercoaster ride of ups and downs

Through all these struggles, Cheryl was buoyed by the Christian community that rallied around them.

Besides their Alpha friends, the couple also grew close to their small group and a Bible study group at church.

“Every time we got admitted to the hospital, they would pray for us. I felt we had a lot of support from church. Everyone around us was also very excited,” said Cheryl.

One of those who walked alongside the couple through this season was Ho Kwai Yuen who had ministered to Wenshen and Cheryl with her husband during the Alpha retreat.

“While I was praying for Cheryl, the words ‘gift of life’ came to me multiple times. I released the words to Cheryl, but didn’t really understand what they meant then,” said Kwai Yuen.

“Faith filled my heart – I was very sure then that Cheryl would conceive.”

After the one-on-one prayer, she learnt that the couple had been trying for a baby for a long time. Then they gathered to pray over Cheryl’s womb specifically.

“Faith filled my heart, and I was very sure then that Cheryl would conceive by the end of 2023,” said Kwai Yuen. The good news arrived on December 28.

Even when the months that followed were filled with much uncertainty due to Cheryl’s pregnancy complications, Kwai Yuen held onto hope.

“My own faith was tested, but God kept sending me reminders during sermons, my personal devotions and Bible readings of His faithfulness,” said Kwai Yuen.

“Raelyn was born on August 16, 2024. A testament of His faithfulness indeed!”

Confessing that it was hard to trust God because of her history of miscarriages and a series of medical issues, Cheryl said: “I was waiting for bad news the entire pregnancy. I did not dare to bond with my unborn baby.”

Because of the tumultuous pregnancy, Cheryl only dared to shop for newborn essentials towards the end of her third trimester.

Even the Caesarean section delivery she had planned because of Raelyn’s breech position did not materialise. A week before that, she went into labour.

“I don’t think I ever really expected to birth a live child until I heard my baby cry for the first time,” Cheryl told Salt&Light. “Only then I felt like I was finally able to celebrate my child.”

A rollercoaster ride of ups and downs

Reflecting on their journey, Wenshen said it was a blessing to see God’s hand at every step, beginning from Raelyn’s conception to birth.

“My pre-believer self would have dismissed the timing as, ‘Yes, this always happens when you’re not stressed or have stopped trying,” he said, adding, “Maybe for other cases, yes. But having experienced it first-hand, there is without a doubt that this was His making and doing.

“It was the realisation of God’s faithfulness and His timing. God had a perfect plan for our perfect little one all along.”

“He gave us a child when we were closest to Him.”

Cheryl, too, was in awe of how, when all their human efforts came to nought, God helped them to conceive. 

“Prior to this, I never believed that God does modern-day miracles,” she said, sharing that she was always sceptical of testimonies where people claimed to be healed after prayer.

“I know now that it was God’s perfect plan. He gave us a child when we were closest to Him and most ready to share this love with our child.”

For Dr Cheng, who had journeyed with the couple through three years of IVF, the pregnancy was unexpected too. Yet he was not entirely surprised by their natural conception.

“The difficulty in Cheryl’s case is that of a lack of an identifiable cause for her poor womb lining development. This situation is one of the most frustrating and emotionally draining in fertility work,” explained Dr Cheng.

However, as a Christian doctor, he takes comfort in knowing that God is still sovereign.

“While we always strive for the best for all our patients and medical knowledge is always advancing, it’s always humbling to realise that we’re never really in full control.

“My role is to ensure that I have given my best and then to leave the outcome to Him.”

The gift of motherhood

For Cheryl, the journey also taught her what it means to surrender control, and, along the way, transformed how she saw motherhood.

“I love children now! I used to just tolerate them. I remind all my married friends to have kids as soon as possible. I’m the aunty who’s going around asking everyone to have kids.”

Speaking to those who are on the fence about having children, Cheryl said: “I do feel very strongly and very urgently that they are missing out on something so special. I really wish that they could all experience this joy that I get to experience because of Raelyn.”

With an active and free-spirited toddler in tow, their lives are definitely different now. But the couple do not view this as a bad thing.

“I feel like she’s given me such a great gift. There’s nothing else that can compare to that experience of raising a child – no amount of travelling, no restaurant with any Michelin star. She just makes everything sparkle a bit more,” said Cheryl.

Debunking the myth that children are a hindrance to living your “best life”, she added: “Having a child has enriched my life experience in a way that no ski trip can. Travelling the world is far more interesting when you get to enjoy it through a child’s eyes.”

Being a mother has also helped Cheryl to understand God’s Fatherly love on a deeper level.

“Sometimes Raelyn is climbing the stairs by herself and doesn’t want me to hold her hand. We do that with God too, right? We say, ‘Let me do this myself’ and He’ll be like, ‘Okay, I’ll let you do it’, but He’s actually holding you, and you think you did it all by yourself.”

Her aspirations for her child have changed too.

Sharing that she used to have more “worldly goals”, Cheryl said: “If Raelyn can grow up knowing God and loving Him her entire life, that would be the main thing for me.

“Sometimes I wonder if this long journey was God preparing both our hearts to raise a godly child. We had to strengthen our faith to raise our child to walk with God.”

Grateful for how things have come full circle, she said: “Many years ago, I was listening to the kids sing in one of our church services, and I was overwhelmed. I really couldn’t stop crying. I kept wondering when it would be my turn to have a child.

“So it felt very, very meaningful that during Raelyn’s baptism, I was also very overwhelmed in this same hall where I cried. Here I was with my child, dedicating her to God.”

If there is anything else this experience has taught them, it is also to be empathetic towards those who, like them, are struggling with fertility issues.

“I really can feel the pain that they feel. There are no words that can comfort them. I can only pray that they will continue to trust in God and cling to their community of believers who will keep them grounded in their faith,” said Cheryl.

For those undergoing IVF, Cheryl urged them not to blame themselves when a cycle fails.

“Don’t beat yourself up because you were too nauseated to eat yet another avocado or Brazil nut. Don’t regret that you didn’t take enough days off work and ended up with another failed cycle. Whether the pregnancy will go through or not is in God’s hands.”

She has also learnt not to get stuck on the question of why.

“Sometimes there will just never be an adequate explanation. It’s not because there isn’t one, but I think that we just don’t understand.”

Now that Raelyn is two years old, the couple are hoping to have a second child. But because of what they have been through, it is less of a struggle to surrender their plans to God.

“It’s much easier now to believe that if we have another child, it will come when the timing is perfect,” Cheryl told Salt&Light.

“And if we don’t have another child, then that is the perfect plan for the family.”

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