People who are friendly in person but bad at keeping in touch usually display these 7 traits

We’ve all met them – those charming individuals who can light up a room, yet seem to disappear off the radar between encounters.

They’re captivating in person, but somehow, they’re just not good at keeping in touch.

What’s the deal with that? It’s a curious mix of traits that makes someone so endearing up close yet seemingly indifferent from afar.

Diving into the world of psychology and personal growth, we’ll explore seven common characteristics of these friendly but elusive individuals.

Understanding these traits may not only help you navigate your relationships with them better, but also provide insights into your own social interactions.

Buckle up, as we delve into the fascinating realm of individuals who are wonderfully engaging in person, but somewhat remiss when it comes to staying connected.

1) They’re charmingly spontaneous

Spontaneity can be a delightful trait. It’s often associated with a zest for life, a sense of adventure, and an infectious enthusiasm that can brighten up any gathering.

This is a characteristic many of these friendly, in-person connectors possess in abundance.

Yet, the flip side of spontaneity is unpredictability.

While they’re the life of the party when present, their spontaneous nature may make them less consistent when it comes to maintaining regular contact.

Their communication style tends to reflect their approach to life – unplanned and spur-of-the-moment.

They’re more likely to reach out on a whim than stick to a regular texting or calling schedule.

In essence, their friendly and engaging demeanor in person is often fueled by the same spontaneity that makes them somewhat unreliable at keeping in touch.

Understanding this trait could help you appreciate their presence when they’re around and manage your expectations when they’re not.

It’s not about excusing their lack of communication but understanding why it may be a part of their nature.

2) They’re sometimes preoccupied with the present

Living in the moment is something I have personally seen in a lot of my friends who are great to hang out with in person but not so good at keeping in touch afterwards.

Let me share an example. I have a friend, let’s call him Mark.

Mark is the epitome of a social butterfly, always in the center of any gathering, engaging everyone with his charisma and charm.

He’s got a knack for making every person feel special and connected.

But when it comes to keeping in touch, he’s not the best. I remember one time we had planned a get-together after months of not seeing each other.

The day arrived, and I didn’t hear from him. I texted, no response.

Finally, after hours of waiting, he called to apologize – he had been caught up in another event and had completely lost track of time.

It wasn’t that he didn’t care about our friendship, it was just that he had become so engrossed in the moment that he had forgotten about everything else.

It’s not an excuse, but a trait – these individuals are so involved in their present surroundings that they sometimes overlook their commitments and fail to maintain regular contact.

Understanding this can help you manage your expectations and not take their lack of communication personally.

3) They may have a large social circle

Individuals who are friendly in person but not so good at keeping in touch often have a wide social network. Their charisma and charm attract a multitude of connections.

Research shows that the average person can maintain stable relationships with about 150 people – a concept known as Dunbar’s Number.

However, the dynamics of these relationships vary. Some are close ties, while others are more casual acquaintances.

For our friendly yet elusive individuals, their social circle might exceed this average due to their outgoing nature.

Juggling a large number of connections can make it difficult for them to maintain regular contact with everyone.

If they seem distant, it may not be personal.

They might just be trying to handle a broader network than most, which occasionally leads to some connections falling through the cracks.

4) They’re naturally independent

Independence is another common trait among people who are friendly in person but not as good at staying in touch.

They enjoy their autonomy and often prefer to navigate life on their terms.

These individuals are comfortable with solitude, and while they might love the buzz of social interaction, they also relish their alone time.

This independent streak can sometimes be interpreted as aloofness or disinterest in maintaining connections.

But it’s not about indifference. Instead, it’s their way of balancing their social energy.

They enjoy social interactions but also need their space to recharge and reflect.

The next time your friend, who is fantastic in person but a ghost otherwise, takes a while to reply, remember it might just be their independent nature at play.

It’s not personal – they might just be catching up on some much-needed solitude.

5) They might struggle with anxiety

While it may seem counterintuitive, some of the most sociable people in person may struggle with anxiety when it comes to maintaining contact outside of face-to-face interactions.

I’ve noticed this trait in myself. In person, I can chat and laugh easily, feeling the energy of the room.

But when it comes to sending a text or making a call, I often hesitate.

The thought of saying something wrong or being misunderstood triggers a wave of anxiety, causing me to delay or even avoid contact.

This struggle doesn’t mean I care any less about my friends or family.

It’s just an internal battle I often find myself grappling with – a paradox between my interactive persona and my anxious self in the virtual world.

If someone you know is friendly in person but lacks in keeping touch, they might be experiencing something similar.

It’s not about you – they might just be managing their own anxieties in their unique way.

6) They might be more comfortable with face-to-face communication

Some people are just more at ease with in-person interactions than they are with digital communication.

They thrive on the immediacy and authenticity of face-to-face conversations, which allows them to read cues, gauge reactions, and connect more deeply.

For these individuals, text messages or emails can feel impersonal and may not provide the same satisfaction as a good old-fashioned chat.

This preference for direct communication can sometimes be mistaken for a lack of effort to keep in touch.

If you know someone who is wonderful in person but rarely picks up the phone or sends a message, they may just prefer the richness of in-person communication.

It’s not about neglecting the relationship; it’s about their comfort zone in expressing themselves.

7) They value quality over quantity

Above all, people who are friendly in person but not so good at keeping in touch often place a high value on the quality of interactions rather than the frequency.

For them, it’s not about how often they connect, but how meaningful those connections are when they happen.

They might not be the first to send a text or make a call, but when they do, they ensure it counts.

They cherish the moments of real-life interaction and try to make the most of them.

While their style might seem distant or inconsistent, remember that when they’re present, they’re truly present. It’s their way of showing that they value deep, genuine connections over casual chit-chat.

A thoughtful takeaway

When it comes to human relationships, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

The complexities of our personalities and behaviors are woven into the fabric of our unique experiences, perceptions, and even our biology.

Think about oxytocin, often termed the ‘love hormone’.

This neurotransmitter plays a crucial role in bonding and social interaction. It’s released when we hug or shake hands with someone, enhancing feelings of trust and connection.

Could it be that our friends who are fantastic in person but not so good at keeping in touch are particularly sensitive to this oxytocin boost?

Perhaps their preference for face-to-face interactions stems from how these moments make them feel – more connected, more understood, more alive.

But the beauty of understanding these traits is not to label or judge others.

Instead, it’s about appreciating the diversity in our ways of connecting.

It’s about learning to respect different social rhythms and finding ways to nurture our relationships within those parameters.

The next time you’re feeling slighted by a friend who hasn’t checked in for a while, remember that their quietness might simply be another way of being.

Their silence doesn’t necessarily equate to indifference – they might just connect with the world differently. And that’s okay.

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