My Wife Has Turned Our Marriage Into Content

I’m becoming more uncomfortable in my marriage because of how much my wife shares on social media. I didn’t have any problem with that when we were dating. She liked to post our outings and shared little stories about certain things we had done together. That was okay. It wasn’t too deep, and it wasn’t too far, until we got married late last year.

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These days, everything we do in the house finds its way onto her social media feed. The food she cooked that I didn’t eat. The little things I say for fun. Even when I go out and don’t come home early, she posts a story about it.

We’ve talked about it. She tells me it’s what keeps her going, and she has fun with the comments people usually share on her posts. I think she’s doing too much. What is a photo of us in bed with the caption, “When your husband sleeps when all you want is a cuddle,” doing on her timeline? And someone will comment, “Wake him up to fulfill his duties,” as if all I do is sleep in this marriage.

I don’t want her to feel like I’m taking her fun away or that I’m being too rigid since we got married. She loves to share her life, and that’s fine, but can she leave certain details out? She asks me, “What details should I leave out?” And I’m like, “Just don’t go too deep.” She asks, “What’s too deep?” And I think she should know by this time what’s too deep.

When I’m late from work, she would post a photo of her sad face and say, “How life looks when he’s gone for years and not back from work.” Should the world know your husband doesn’t come home early after work? Isn’t that too deep information to be shared on her timeline? I even want to create a fake account and one day comment, “Are you the only woman on earth who’s married?”

Everybody on her timeline knows about my life—my favorite food, what I said when I was angry, my little jokes that are not funny. I’m a whole book on her timeline that people read and share funny comments about. So I’m careful what I say or do around her because it might find its way onto her feed. When something bad happens, I have to tell her, “Don’t let your online advisers hear of this.”

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How deep is too deep? I don’t know, but I see deep when I see it. How do we handle this situation so it doesn’t become an albatross in our marriage? I don’t want to be the reason she can’t do what makes her happy, but then what’s the fine line between her happiness and my unhappiness?

—Ben  

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