My Mother Is The Most Bitter Woman I Know

I don’t remember a time in my life when my mother was not bitter. I am her only child. Basically, I am the only person in her life. She raised me as a single mother. So I have had a front-row seat to all her problems.

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According to the stories she told me, she was maltreated by her own mother and siblings. She is the type of person who takes on other people’s problems as if they were her own. You know, an empath to a fault. Because of that, her family took advantage of her. Whenever there were chores to do, they dumped them all on her. It didn’t matter whose responsibility it was, she did every single thing until her body wore out. This experience has contributed to the bitter person she has become.

It didn’t help matters that life didn’t favour her. Lord knows she tried her best. She studied hard, went to university, and eventually became a high school teacher. For a moment, there was a glimmer of hope for her future. She was sure that with her profession, she wouldn’t have to do labour-intensive chores again.

Unfortunately, that dream didn’t last long. She lost the job, and couldn’t find another teaching position. With bills and responsibilities piling up, she was forced to take the streets and hustle. She sold water, biscuits, and juice.

It kept us afloat but it wasn’t easy to do. Her body, already weakened from years of overwork, began to fail her. Now she struggles with chest pains, leg pains, and sometimes pain throughout her whole body.

This has made her more bitter than ever. That’s my biggest problem with her. I know she’s hurt, but I believe she should make peace with her past and move on. Unfortunately, she has refused to do that.

Every single day she cries and curses her mother and siblings. As her daughter, it gets exhausting to hear the same pain repeated daily. Sometimes I even dread going home because I know I’ll meet the same bitterness. Since my childhood, curses have been her anthem.

I understand they wronged her, but I don’t understand why she can’t forgive. Forgiveness is something she never wants to hear about—even when preachers speak on it, she shuts down completely.

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Sometimes I feel her bitterness is the very reason life has been hard for her. Maybe if she had let go, she would have had a more positive outlook on life and found ways to improve her living conditions. It probably would have saved her from her current situation, but she won’t do it. All she thinks about is cursing her oppressors, even those who are already dead.

She has no time or mental space to think of anything constructive, seeing as her mind is clouded by curses. Honestly, I’m almost giving up on her.

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I want to advise her to forgive her past and live freely but I haven’t had the courage to speak to her about it because I know she won’t listen. I am even scared that if I suggest forgiveness, I’ll be counted as part of her enemies.

How do I approach this for her to listen? Also, I want to start a small business for her—something not too tiring. Does anyone have any business ideas to share with me?

—Deli

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