My Girlfriend Loves Me but My Side Chick Understands Me

I met her when I had nothing, not even a job to my name. Fresh out of school, very broke, and uncertain about my future, I found myself teaching in a small private school just to survive. That’s where she came into my life.

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She was kind and grounded and saw something in me I hadn’t yet seen in myself. We started dating, and for two years, she stood by me through the struggle, the late nights, and the silent prayers. When the opportunity came for me to secure a permanent government job, she didn’t just cheer me on. She supported me financially. She believed in my future more than I did.

The job took me to another state, and distance became our new reality. We stayed in touch, but something changed. At my new workplace, I met another woman. It started as casual, just conversation and a little laughter, but it grew into something more.

I was still with my girlfriend, but I was also falling into something new. I told myself I’d figure it out. I’d choose. I just didn’t know how or when.

Eventually, I went back to visit my girlfriend. She sensed something was wrong. My silence, my hesitation, and maybe the way I couldn’t look her in the eye gave me away. She found out about the affair.

And in a move that crushed me, she just left me.

I was very devastated

I returned to my workplace, shattered and confused. I told the “work girlfriend” everything. About my girlfriend, the affair, the heartbreak. She listened and advised me. She stayed with me through it all. I thought maybe this was my second chance to do things right.

But then something worse happened.

I found out my girlfriend had started seeing another man seriously. I panicked, and I rushed to see her, hoping I could win her back, hoping she would remember what we had.

We spent one last night together. We had sex, and in that moment, I felt like maybe there was still hope. Maybe we could fix this. Maybe she still loved me.

But after, she told me she was moving on. She was gone. Emotionally, she didn’t need me. Physically, she didn’t even want to breathe the same air as me. Completely, she had shut the door and locked it behind her.

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I felt like my heart had been ripped out. That night, that moment, it meant everything to me. But to her, it was closure. It was goodbye. I was too late.

So I turned my full attention to the woman at work. But she has her own “wahala”. A sugar daddy who funds her lifestyle. I didn’t care about that. I fought for her. I wanted her to choose me over him.

But now, she says I’m not serious. That I’m still stuck in the past. That I left her to chase a ghost, and she was right. I did.

She’s started giving her sugar daddy more attention now, and I feel myself slipping again. I’m losing someone I don’t want to lose. I’m caught between the woman who built me and the woman who stayed when I was broken.

And now, I might lose both.

—Kudjo

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